Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Should I run away from home?


love drugs addiction

Love and Addiction

(Editor's note: please see previous post published recently:

I am 20 years old. I am really depressed nowadays because of things going on in my life. I am getting addicted to taking pain killers- 3-4 in the morning, afternoon and at night. I also fell in love with a guy. It's been 1 and a half years that I've know him. It's not love- it's something more than that.

The thing is that we wanted to get married at the start of our relationship (6 months), but we are having culture and tradition problems. He is not pakistani but I am. He is a born christian, and I am born muslim, but he converted to islam 5 years ago and Alhamdulillah follows everything according to islam. He is a becoming a doctor and lives in America.  It's been 2 years that Mashallah he finally overcame consuming alcohol. He used to smoke and has stopped it, and stopped having haram relations a long time ago. He learned fast to recite quran (not in Arabic, in english; but in arabic he will soon). He believes by heart that Allah is One and His Prophet is the last Prophet.

I  told my mother 2 months ago because things are serious, but she told me to leave him. After two months on my birthday, my dad came to know about him, too. He hit me. My mum hit me, too, saying "I believe he is non muslim".  My sister hit me, as well. I live in europe, and did not go to the police even though I had bruises on my body. Still I am being called prostitute and a club dancer by my own mother and sister.

I  am getting addicted to medicines. He makes me laugh, and we both think same. He is nice to me, and loves me a lot. This one time he said my name, my father's name, his name, his father name and than had Allah witness it and said "here we go, today we got married". This happened in November. After that, we just got closer every day and our love got stronger. I feel something new for him every day.

My parents are not ready to understand this, and he has to deal with his family too. Now I am just planning to run away from my home...should I? My father forgave me and he felt guilty for what he did. He tried to give me love, but I got annoyed because he makes me eat or makes me sit when I don't want to. Should I leave my family and just go? I would, but I love my mum and my 10 year old sister a lot. Sometimes I just want to go away. I don't know what to do- I  am scared if I leave I will hurt a lot of people and Allah will never forgive me, and I cannot be happy. Please help me, should I leave my house?


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35 Responses »

  1. OP: My mum hit me, too, saying "I believe he is non muslim".

    He is a Muslim but not good enough to marry a girl born in a Muslim family.

    • I totally agree with you SVS , not anyone who make you smile and think alike is a compatible .. Please ! I am abode in scotland and saw many paki girls who are so called muslims and got ditched by so called reverted muslim brothers, marriage is not just about you and him its about families ..

    • Assalaamualaikam

      Can I ask, by that do you mean that he is not good enough on account of being a revert?

      Midnightmoon editor

    • Why did you say that you know him? Why you being judgemental do you even know why he converted and tell me one thing what is the gurantee that a boy born in a muslim family is good enough for a muslim girl oky so you just marry for families so that families be happy and what about the two people who are actually in nikkah and what is the purpose of having marriage which is just a compromise??

  2. Assalaamualaikam

    If you and this guy truly want to be together in an Islamic marriage, then either he or you need to have your family (or in his case, he may need to do it himself or have a pious brother help him) approach the other's family with a proposal. There is no couple without nikah, so until nikah you would still need to maintain appropriate boundaries - ie. no intimacy, no private contact, wearing hijab...

    If your wali (in most cases, this would be your father) rejects the proposal, ask him why - think about his reasons, and if they are Islamically sound (for example, it wouldn't be appropriate to reject a proposal based on skin colour or being a revert; it would be appropriate to reject it if the guy had a history of committing zina, smoking, not practising his faith). If you feel they are not valid reasons in Islam, then you have the right to approach your imam and ask him to mediate in the matter.

    The ritual that he did with your names does not count as a valid nikah - a nikah needs a wali, witnesses, mehr... none of these were present at that time.

    You mention you are getting addicted to medicines. Addictions to substances, whether prescribed medications or illegal drugs, tend to be very dangerous and harmful, so if you are beginning to feel an addiction developing it's important to seek help and stay away from the substance. If these painkillers are prescribed for you by a doctor - tell them you feel you are becoming dependent on them and ask to have your problems treated in a different way (for example, physiotherapy, non-addictive medications, alternative therapies).

    My personal opinion is that you and your family may need some help in dealing with the issues that are coming between you all - it might help to seek input from a family counsellor, or speak with an imam at your local mosque. Don't run away from home, not unless you feel you are unsafe and at risk - if that is the case, then rather than running away, leave the house and go to your local mosque or sisters' community centre to seek help.

    Pray to Allah, stay away from haraam things such as pre-marital relationships and seek help for your problem with painkillers. If we wish Allah to bless us with success in this life, I think we need to start by ensuring we fulfil our own obligations to Him.

    Midnightmoon editor

    • My parents said that just get over it my father he dont pray or fast or recite he dont like to listen to imam's he just say that you will be married to a pakistani that is it we have a long distance relation we were never involved in physical activity and he is independent he work two jobs and taking education on his own no parents help he was christain before he used to smoke and drink now he dont my father just is not ready to belive he is muslim for him he is non muslim and will be

      • Assalaamualaikam

        If you feel that the reasons your father is giving for refusing the proposal are not based on Islam, have you tried to speak with an imam about this? They may be able to discuss the matter with your father?

        Midnightmoon editor

        • I will try to get involve an imam but i dont think so will work either my father he got a business mind believe in facts i will try too

          • If your father is a big businessman, Imam probably will side with him. DON"T go alone to meet any imam. It is not easy to know about people one meets online. How can you be sure, your online friend is not into any haram relationships? Even a lot of young Muslims secretly date in US.

  3. Salam sister Midnight moon,

    I have always wondered islamically what a women can do if her wali(father) rejects the man she wants to marry for non islamic reasons, such as race and colour, education, status etc etc?

    There are many muslim women who are banned from marrying good brothers who have proposed to then due to their farher's or brothers and relatives rejecting the proposal as the guy is not from their clan! Same with my family, my father will not even consider guys from outside our village irregardless of their deen, character etc.

    So how can a muslim women get married to the man of her choice, who is religous but her father disagrees on non islamic grounds??

    • Assalaamualaikam

      As far as I am aware, if a woman's wali acts un-Islamically in regards a proposal - for example, rejecting a pious man of good character because of skin colour - she has the right to challenge that decision and potentially even find a new wali (within Islamic limits of course - there are teachings about the order in which male relatives would be a girl's wali) - the role of wali is a big responsibility and demands that the man acts Islamically when carrying out this role.

      So, in the first instance it might help for the wali to discuss the matter with an imam or respected member of the community - it may be that there are valid reasons for refusal, or that the wali was not aware his reasoning would not be a valid Islamic reason... InshaAllah, this may lead to a resolution.

      Midnightmoon editor

  4. in light of your strong medication and high dosage, I believe that you need more help and guidance than a blog can provide.

    Whatever is said here is in my view not enough to help you in your current situation.

    I beg you to stretch your hand out for help from family, friends, colleagues, professionals, and of course the Almighty.

    I believe that in your current situation you might not be strong enough to pick yourself up without constant and close support.

    Please do not be shy to ask for help. Tomorrow you can also help someone else.

    As for your relationship issues I believe these are secondary to your health and mental stability. First you must address these and then work on the relationship

    Otherwise you risk loosing both.

    If this guy knows you, he will understand and most likely help you.

    Painkillers should be given up.

    First limit the challenges in your life.

    Address the challenges by priority and only after one challenge is surmounted, go to the next challenge and so on.

    Do not try to boil the ocean - do not push too many things on yourself at the same time.

    Take care of your health, pray and meditate for your mental health and then take next steps.

    • We have involved one imam he said he will be ready to get us married he knows that guy personally he said you are a good muslim its oky to marry her

      • AsSalaamu Alaikum A.k,

        Before you proceed any further, why not let the brother meet your family for couple of times and prove himself as a real pious Muslim brother with good character? He should also read to them what he knows from the Holy Quran and hadiths. If he hasn't mastered that in Arabic yet, then there is no harm in taking some few months to perfect his recitation and to memorize at least some surahs (doing so shouldn't be something impossible or difficult for him at all, as it will not only help him get your parent's consent, but it will also help him in being a good Muslim husband, or in continuing to memorize a lot surahs after marriage inshaAllah). The Imam should be able to help him perfect his recitation, inshaAllah. When he is ready but fears that your father might not look at him, the imam may accompany him. The imam should introduce him to your father, and testify that he is a good Muslim brother whom he had known for a while, and that he had also taught him how to recite the Holy Quran.

        Also, you should be praying for Allah to ease your fathers heart, as you can also pray istikhara at the same time.

        • To me, if he is able to get the kind of patience that is required for perfecting the Quranic and Hadith recitation in Arabic, and then memorizing some surahs and hadiths, then that indicates how serious he is, as it also indicates that he is a man with full patience and commitment.

        • AsSalaamu Alaikum A.k,

          Brother Issah's suggestion that your intended should travel to your home country with an Imam is a good suggestion. It achieves multiple ends; two of which are, (1) you involve an Imam who would be available to speak to your father and advise him, and would also be able to assess the validity of your father's objections, and (2) mixed in with your father's un-Islamic prejudice is a real and valid concern for his daughter's well-being. Your father would have the chance to meet him. Our brother's ability to arrange travel and accommodation for himself and an Imam will show your father that he is serious. His travel to your home should also speak to your father's "business" (side).

          It will be costly and trying for your intended, but he can ease the pressure by making some connections with some brothers or an Imam in your country. He can find respite in their company when he is not engaged with your family. It may be costly and trying for him, but I have seen this done (in very contentious situations), and the possible benefits outweigh the burden of the trial by far. Imagine you can have your parents and your husband, both. Imagine visiting your parents after marriage and your husband is treated like a king by your parents because of his good treatment of you and their love for him. And imagine that you and your husband become a benefit to your parents Islamically. In Allah swt all things are possible.

          If you don't address your possible addiction to the pain killers you risk losing the confidence of your intended. I doubt he is a brick wall. He will be weakened by any illness he perceives you are suffering from. You risk losing your true self. Allah may be ready to bless you (in a way you cannot foresee) and you may be absent (in the throes of addiction). Your abuse of pain pills can turn into a full blown opioid addiction. Please stop immediately. If you resolve to stop and then fail, then you need to look into rehabilitation without delay- for your future's sake.

          your sister,

  5. As-salamu Alaykum, Sister,

    Speaking as the mother of two children close to your age, I am very uncomfortable with the situation you have presented...not because the person you wish to marry is a convert (I am myself a convert), but because the relationship is purely on-line, which means that you do not know as much as you think you do about this individual. You only know what he wants you to know. He could be 100% sincere, but there are many unknowns, and it would be really difficult for most parents to be enthusiastic about such a relationship, even in the best of circumstances (whether they are religious or not). I definitely do not recommend running away or going above your father's authority to contract the marriage. If you feel that you would like to marry this person, then the only honorable way I can see that happening is for him to come to your country in order to meet your parents and approach them in the correct manner. Also, I imagine that your family would want to further investigate his lifestyle and reputation where he lives as well. As others have pointed out, you are not married to this person (despite the words he said), and to be frank, him saying such words is wrong in Islam. I am a bit busy at the moment but would like to discuss this with you further, so feel free to reply, and I will do my best to reply when I am free.

    • Well i knowthis for sure he is sincere sometimes i feel like running away sometimes i dont the most biggest issue is my mum when ever i talk to her she get hyper i talked to her 3 times all those 3 times she hit me you know i have night mares i see my mother beating me or my father with glass sometimes with metal sticks i do want them to meet him but they are not ready i have a big family of 8 i love them but no one is supporting me i have 3 sisters even they are not ready to help me i m just you know its not a good feeling you have you told me you are a mother if your daughter like some one truly you will at least listen to her calmly dont taunt her and meet the guy later tell what should you do instead of over reacting creating drama

      • AsSalaamu Alaikum A.k,

        I understand that your parents are wrong for not wanting to meet the brother, but again you would be wrong if you leave your family to marry him, without the brother making any effort to meet your family. The fact that they are not expressing the desire or need to see him, does not mean that if he met them in a respectful way, they will not welcome him as a guest. If they still reject him after he has used all the possible ways to prove to them that he is real and sincere, then that's where the imam can have the authority to marry you to him without your parents.

        Your parents have shown concern about a man you met online (it doesn't matter whether he is revert or born a Muslim). They are not sure about his deen and character yet. Regardless of whether your parents are good Muslims themselves or not, their concern will remain a valid Islamic reason until they see the proof of his deen and character. So if the brother is really serious, he should at least put the required effort in getting your parent's approval, the proper Islamic way. This is better than rushing to do things so fast and marrying you without trying, as it is also better for you to have your husband and your family both, even if it will have to take many efforts and time to convince them. The importance of having them both is that you can always turn to your family for help, especially when there is something going on in your marital life.

      • As-salamu Alaykum, Dear Sister,

        How are you doing today?

        I guess what some of us are trying to say is that most parents, whether they are religious or not, would be concerned about their daughters meeting a potential spouse on-line. This would be true whether the man was a born Muslim or a convert and is complicated by the fact that the person you are interested in lives overseas, making it more difficult to investigate his background. If you read what Hana and Issah are recommending, it makes sense that he should make the effort to go meet your parents. If he cannot or will not do this, it is a really big problem. I mean, pretend for a moment that your father is religious and accepting of people from different cultures. Do you not think that he would still expect the man to approach him in the correct manner?

        If you haven't read this before, there is some good advice in this thread that may apply to you:

        Since you asked about my children, I will tell you the approach I am taking. I have actually sat down with them a few times to explain that I do not want them chatting to strangers on-line.

        In my opinion, a guy who chats to a girl on-line is likely to be chatting with other girls. In addition, it is generally easy to get along with people on-line because getting to know another human being is an exciting process, especially when you find out that you have things in common and start to care for one other. It is easy for someone to chat and make you feel that he is an extremely sincere person...but what really counts is what that person does in his daily he deals with people and reacts to various situations. I think we have all known people who appear to be very profound or poetic on-line but who actually spend the whole day wasting time and never do anything worthwhile.

        In contrast, some people are not very witty on-line (if they go on-line at all), but they live very decent and sincere lives.

        Now, I do not want to get into whether the person you are chatting with is sincere or not. As I said previously, it possible that he is genuine about everything he is saying. However, a big red flag to me is the fact that he is even chatting to you in the first place. If you were my daughter, I would almost certainly want to know how and why you got into an on-line relationship. A lot of religious guys and girls do not even go near FB and other social networking sites, and they make it a rule to never chat with the opposite I would wonder about a guy who found it normal to pursue a relationship in this manner without first seeking the consent of a girl's parents. And as I mentioned before, it was totally wrong of him to proclaim you married in the manner that he did. Either he was simply feeling romantic and did not mean for it to be serious (which is by itself problematic), or he is showing traits of someone who is either ignorant about these important aspects of Islam or who is purposely being manipulative.

        There is a reason why we have boundaries in Islam with regard to relationships with the opposite sex. Islam limits the interaction we are allowed to have with the opposite sex before marriage in order to limit the problems that arise from such relationships. It is really a problem when you become emotionally attached to someone whom you are not able to marry for any reason. That's why in most Muslim societies, parents and other elders serve as filters who either allow the next steps to take place or not. That way, there is less chance of getting seriously hurt...because the presumption is that someone who finally made it far enough to sit in your living room and ask for your hand is at least welcome to be there.

        I do not think it was right for your parents to hit you, and it is probably very frustrating for you if you feel that you are being taunted or belittled in any way. Maybe you are also correct about your parents being close-minded or unaccepting of other cultures. These are all challenges that you will have to face in various aspects of your life. Try to separate these issues with your parents from the other issues, however, and simply contemplate whether your current relationship is one that is acceptable in Islam. Does this man always show good character, or do you feel there are times when he does not (such as when he proclaimed marriage between you)? Pray for guidance on these issues, and be honest with yourself. If you were my daughter, I would probably ask you to take a break from the relationship as you took some time to think about the big picture. If you are addicted to medicines, you need to solve that problem as well in order to think about things with a clear mind.

        You sound like a very nice person, and I really hope the best for you.

        • You know that is really nice of you helping me like this my mother is nice but is hard for me to be open to her sit and talk to her because when you sit and talk you need patience she dont have it but finally i talked to my sister i felt a little lighter well my dad is ready to spend millions just to give me education so i am not running away and go for it because my major is biology i will go for the dentistry programe

          Well its really good what you telling your children its good well i met him on a site where you learn languages and thing is that yes he used to talk to girls but not much because his major is biology and work two jobs we probably chat for 3-4 times really small ones but from day one i knew was a bad idea it made us fall was daily sending one message general and we just fell for one another and how i know is sincere with me i have seen many changes him in past 2 years like he used to have piercing before he converted well he removed it for me stopped smoking alcohol Allhamdulillah he controlled it already before meeting me pray more than usual is more nicer to me we do face time usually he has stopped going out partying or clubbing because he is always home face timing with me send me some money every month i really dont need it but he just send it like that because he loved to do it

          • Salam Sister,
            It's great that you are studying biology, masha'Allah, and I think dentistry is a really interesting field to be in. You are fortunate that your father is willing to pay for your studies. It's almost time for my kids to enter university, and I am praying we'll be able to cover their expenses. Don't lose this opportunity because you are really blessed, masha'Allah. Once you get married and have children, it becomes much harder to fulfill these types of goals.

            A while ago, my daughter had a situation in which she was chatting to a woman we know. The woman is a lot older than my daughter (in her 40s), and it made me uncomfortable that she was trying to form a relationship with my daughter. I noticed that my daughter was not acting like herself, and she was spending way too much time speaking to this woman. So I finally asked her to end the contact or I would contact the woman myself and speak to her about it.

            She felt guilty because this woman had helped her in the I told her she does not owe her anything more than a thank you (which was already given).

            I'm telling you this because I have the feeling that you feel like you owe something to the person you met on-line...because he is nice to you and sends you money and has changed some things about himself due to your relationship. Maybe you feel like it would be cruel to leave him hanging after everything you have shared.

            Even though it was just friendship, this is how my daughter was feeling about the woman, so I told her I'd give her an easy way out. Basically, I told her to tell the woman that she couldn't use the Internet anymore because her parents (my husband and I) wouldn't let her...because we wanted her to focus on her studies. That way the "blame" would be on us and not on her.

            At first she rejected this idea, but then she did it...and I finally started to see very positive changes in my daughter's personality. She was actually feeling sick about the whole situation but she didn't know how to express herself. Finally she was able to focus on other things and not feel obligated to this woman. It was really a weird situation...but this is what happens sometimes when you get very close to someone and feel that you owe them more than you are really able to give.

            From day one it was a bad idea...this is what you have said above, dear Sister. Please think carefully about your words...Allah SWT has blessed you with instincts, and you should not ignore them. My daughter had instincts about this woman but she tried to pretend that everything was okay when it was not. This is probably why you are feeling sick and taking pain-killers...because you know that things are not right and yet you allowed the relationship to progress so you probably feel bad saying the opposite.

            Maybe I am wrong and I have misunderstood (forgive me if that's the case), but I just want to tell you it's okay to end the relationship if that's what you actually want deep inside. If you have to, place the "blame" somewhere else (like my daughter did)...but do not feel bad for doing what you need to do in order to stay healthy, mentally, physically, and spiritually.

            The situation with your parents is hard, but it's really a separate issue, like I said above. Try solving one issue at a time and not relating one issue to another. As I see it, the issue with this guy is not your is the nature of the relationship itself...because there is something off and wrong about it. When you correct this issue, I am confident you will feel that a burden has been lifted from your shoulders, and you will find the strength to deal with the other issues that need to be addressed.

            If this person is really meant to be in your life as a husband, then nothing in the world can stop Allah's plan...but you need to be brave and let go so that things can happen the halal way (if they are meant to happen at all). In saying this, I have tried to give you the same advice I would give my own daughter. She's close to your age, and you can't imagine how happy I will be Insha'Allah when she eventually finishes her studies and begins the next phase of her life. This is how most parents feel, and I am sure yours are no different. This is why they get upset...because they want things to go a certain way, and they don't know what to do when something unexpected comes up. Try to see this from their perspective, and maybe you will understand what I mean.

          • Was salam,
            You have given me a good advice but i am just telling you the case with your daughter is different i have met gim in person too he specially fly all over from america to France just to see me Well i met him but among friends so nothing happen between us. He knows me well that i am not kind of those who will just go for it without marrriage he is the first guy i have ever been close to i dont feel burden i dont feel like he is creating problem i dont feel he is blocking me i dont well when i am with him i feel complete he do it because love to do it and i am sure of this thing that i want him in my life as my husband i have 100% faith in Allah my main problem is that my parents dont listen to me and they are not ready to understand after reading every thing here all those good advices given by you and other people and also i thought a lot we together finally decided i should go for education rynning away is not an answer we will fight i just needed one thing his support and i have it my mum yesterday hugged me and she felt my pain like i am in pain ut i get another thing my father is emotionless he will kill me a live but right now will not get me married plus if i run away which my heart never agreed for because i have 4 sisters and all so i am relaived now not on medecin i saw its side affect on internt and they can kill me alive so i just stopped will have a normal life with him my respect and my parents in my life i Will make it happen just needed to be. Little strong i am thank you for your help

          • Salam Sister,
            I'm glad you are thinking about things a little more carefully. Try to keep the lines of communication open with your parents, especially your mother. With my own kids, I have noticed that sometimes they do not tell me things because they think I will not understand, but I actually feel very happy when they share their struggles. Also, when you talk about things early, you avoid surprising your parents later on...and if there is a problem to be solved, it can often be solved easily instead of waiting until it becomes a crisis situation.

            Regarding my daughter, I realize that not everything I said was relevant to your situation, but I was trying to illustrate to you the great concern a parent has for his or her children. In my daughter's case, she was chatting to a woman, and this woman is known to our family. And as far as I know, she is a nice woman. But this did not stop me from feeling protective over my daughter. If I feel this way about a nice woman I personally know, can you imagine how it would feel to find out that your daughter is communicating with a total stranger of the opposite sex? I consider myself open-minded, but this would not be acceptable to me at all. More importantly, I do not believe this type of relationship is okay in our religion. There are certain cases in which someone might happen to legitimately meet someone on-line, but such a relationship cannot drag on indefinitely for months and months.

            In any case, I am wishing all the best for you and pray that the situation with your family improves.

          • A: If I feel this way about a nice woman I personally know

            Question is what is the reason behind this feeling? Why are you afraid of this "nice woman"?

  6. A: A while ago, my daughter had a situation in which she was chatting to a woman we know. The woman is a lot older than my daughter (in her 40s), and it made me uncomfortable that she was trying to form a relationship with my daughter.

    What kind of relationship that woman was trying to form with your daughter? Would you talk to A.k. on phone and help her with her problem? You are much older but just trying to help. I am confused why you felt threatened by your daughter talking to an older woman.

    • Salam SVS,
      I feel it is generally inappropriate for adults to form friendships with teenagers unless there is a very specific need for it. In my daughter's case, the woman helped her with a school matter which was quickly resolved, then kept chatting to her. At first I tolerated this, seeing it as harmless...then the conversations became longer and more frequent and also took place at night despite the fact that each had school or work the next morning. My daughter is not allowed to use the Internet at such times and thus felt she had to sneak around to talk to this woman. She would shut her bedroom door for long hours and pretend she was asleep when she was not. It didn't take me long to discern what was going on and discuss things openly with my daughter. I am a believer in following your instincts even if you cannot explain exactly what is bothering you. In my opinion, an adult woman should be a role model to a young person and not cause her anxiety or bad habits, such as staying up late at night. Allah knows best what her intentions were, but I did not feel good about it, and it turned out that my daughter also felt pressured and anxious. Hopefully people will read this anecdote and think about their own children's habits on-line. Many children and teenagers are forming relationships with complete strangers right in their own homes without anyone suspecting a thing.

  7. Salam Ak...I just read another post of yours in which you referred to this person as your husband. Does that mean that he finally came to ask your father for your hand? If so, congratulations. Perhaps you could update us and let us know what happened.

  8. I know same, I feel like running away the whole time and always had dark gloomy thoughts and never smiled and became happy for more then a year or so. I feel like that living life with this strict Bengali family is a horrid thing but if your parents and siblings have good feelings about you and become very very very sad and starts missing you, you will NEVER make to Jannah because there are 3 types of people that don't make it to Jannah : suicide committers, prayer abandoners and the people that burden and depress their parent's hearts . And when I get these lifeless thoughts I just think about Allah and say to myself ' running away and disappointing your parents very badly is a permanent solution to a temporary problem' so don't think like this. After all your parents yell at you for good, not for bad. And when your stressed about your future, think about ALLAH he wrote this future life like this for you, WHAT CAN YOU DO ABOUT IT. You are the slave of Allah, how could you be happy. THIS LIFE IS JUST A TEST! AND THIS DUNYA IS THE PRISON FOR THE BELIEVER.

  9. i have forced my wife to run away because she is Bengali and i am Pakistani ever since i have been feeling very bad i no what i have done is wrong i use to smoke and had other bad habits but i have stopped everything now i am trying to keep her happy as much as i can.if i try i contacting her family they will never accept us will Allah forgive me an her

  10. I'll tell u personally, do not mind your sister she is ten and she follow by the example of your mother and is probably being pressured by your mom to be the one to sticks to what she was taught to (or feels the pressure). It is love and it only strikes once, since he already converted to Islam for u, u just have to show your parents that the commitment is really there. Usually marriages like that don't last, that is probably where there fear is coming from. Please don't be annoyed with your dad he realized his mistake if u keep on being annoyed with him he could blame your rude attitude on your relationship or just stop supporting it in general! You deserve to find happiness don't give up I've been depressed too. I don't think that having that amount of pulls is now technically addiction as it is more of a habit, however please don't get addicted to drugs because they are bad for u. Your husband to be quit smoking so do it for him. Or try taking the same amount of smaller pills to slowly get yourself out of the habit. Good luck and inshallah I pray for your happiness. Also my mom squad that if u are the cause of someone converting to Islam u automatically go to heaven. U do deserve happiness

  11. I dont know what to do with my life !?

  12. Hy.....i am a boy and my age is 16 i want to become a girl but it is not possible for me in a home my all hobbies are like a girl so ithink to run away fro a home as i want to become transgender... plz tell me

    • A.p., I don't know which hobbies you mean exactly, but just because you enjoy traditionally "girlish" hobbies does not mean you should become a girl. There is nothing wrong with a man enjoying hobbies such as cooking, fashion, etc. Some of the greatest chefs and fashion designers are heterosexual men. You are still developing physically. Give yourself time to become the young man you are destined to be Insha'Allah.


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