Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Should I take back my ex-wife?

sad-man-and-rain

ASW. I am married wth 6 yrs old girl. In last 8 months my wife is not with me as i have through her because of her external affairs for we had big fight and i sent her to her parents house. But she didnt went there and stay separate as she know they will not accept her as well. Now after almost 8 month she want to come back and told she did wrong and fell guilty. But in between this she wants to come on her terms and conditions.

I have give her divorce in spring this year and in all these months she had physical affairs with lots of man. Even did couple of abortions. Which was told by her sister.

Its hard to trust her as she is doing all this from last 5-6 yrs and i kept patince and prays everyday tht one mornig she will realized wht she is doing or did was wrong in all terms. But she refused about all and start fight and abusing me... Am shaki & syco sick etc... So i started tracking her calls and chats and i have tons of proofs now. And she is aware of all these now.

For me its difficult to trust her and believe wht she says. But somehow and till in love wth her and thinks about my daughter which is wth me all these 8 months. We both are some how in depression and hope one day she will back and committed her mistakes.

My question is should i have do again nikah to her and accept her on ALLAH' s behave and accept her with all the sins she committed?? Or should i move wth my daughter...

We are in confusion and the day i try to believe her i see or hear some activities of her which not permissioned in Islam... For eg. she is having birthday and she went to imagica with some guy for sure and when i asked she lied its an old pixs and she did.. She lied and i can feel it and now abt it as well... Plze suggest me. Because of all this my life is terrible and somehow am getting depression and tense.... !!!?

mantashaaq

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7 Responses »

  1. If she is really changed and repent for what she did than you should accept her and give her chance this is for her akhirat sake or else she may turn again such sins and if she has not changed u should complete forget her and move on in your life better to get married with some 1. Regarding re uniting u should consult some aalim.

  2. don't accept her. It will ruin both your and your daughter life .she will be bad role model for your daughter ..you might risk getting sexual transmitted diseases as she slept with so many men . Keep her out of your life.

  3. Walaikum Salaam warahmatillah wabarikahtu dear brother,

    My sincere advice, from all the things you described from her, is to let her go!!! She doesn't deserve you or her beautiful daughter... Not to mention I'm pretty sure you cannot take back your wife after you divorce her until she marries someone else and gets divorced again ( but maybe that was so that she would sleep with someone else and prove to the first husband how serious a divorce is and disgraceful).

    Of course you love her, she is the mother of your child! However she obviously doesn't and never has loved you, because she is so shamelessly slutty and sinful. May Allah forgive me for judging her, but idk what she's doing to her life. You on the other hand have to not only protect yourself from disease and heartache, but are also responsible for your daughter. Do you want this woman to be her role model!!! No.

    May Allah forgive you brother and us all, and grant you a beautiful pious muslimah as a wife and children who are the comfort and coolness of your eyes.

  4. Assalam-o-aliakum
    Brother,look if you divorced her, then
    according to the Noble Quran, Allah Almighty made it clear in Noble Verses 2:229-230 that when a man divorces his wife three times, then he can't remarry her until she had married another man, and got divorced from him.
    the next thing is should you take her back or not?i don't know what inside her but if she repent then she is not doing such thing which she is doing right now.so, according to me leave her, because it also effect on you daughter as well.suppose if you forgive her then you daughter is bought up by her.is it ok?so,don't wait for her and live your life peacefully because if remain distrubed then your daughter also suffer.for her, make yourself strong and move on.
    May Allah reduce your worries!
    hope that helped,
    Allah(S.W.T) knows best & guides us best.

    • "when a man divorces his wife three times, then he can't remarry her until she had married another man, and got divorced from him."

      - This is only true if the divorce was the third, irrevocable divorce. He did not say that was the case here.

      However, this is not a woman that any man should take back. The brother should thank Allah that is free of this lying, cheating woman. A woman like this is the worst misery in life.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  5. Salam Mantashaaq brother,

    Sorry to hear about your situation.

    Please don't feel depressed. Be happy! Don't ever accept her even if she becomes best of human being. Just move on. Let her realise her mistakes and injustice she did to you and to herself. You will never be at peace if you take her back.

    Please stay 100% away from her. Give your time towards your beautiful daughter. Raise your daughter well. Give your daughter love of both mother and father. And perhaps after three years or so you should consider marrying a nice, respectful and mature in personality woman. Someone who has better understanding of this life and working hard for her Hereafter, In shaa Allah.

    Also as your daughter is growing up day by day no doubt she would like to know about her biological mother. During those times never talk ill of her mother to her because it will hurt your daughter's feeling a lot and probably mentally disturb her. Please seek professional advice on how to approach this sensitive issue with your daughter.

    In shaa Allah gradually all will be good. Always be in company of good and positive minded people and family oriented people.

    Take care of yourself. And may Allah swt make it easy for you, aameen.

    Your sister,
    Me 🙂

  6. brother its is really horrible story but i think you should do nikah if she can follow your all rules then you should think about your doughter its your luck friend dont think alot just do what your heart say your daughter needs mom think about it

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