Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Should I tell him that his girlfriend has been cheating on him?

Whispering in his earSalam alaykum,

I'm female and I used to be friends with a non-Muslim girl I knew from college. She seemed very nice and we actually spent a lot of time together. After a while I started noticing some changes in her behaviour. She was going through a rough time (father had a drinking problem, constant fighting between her parents and the situation escalated to a point where she had to start taking anti-depressives). After a few months she started losing control. She got irritated very quickly and did things she shouldn't be doing.

When I first met her, she was 'dating' a guy for a few years. But her personality changed in way that she started seeing other men as well.. I know that she was interested in Islam and eventually she converted.

Converting to Islam made her more calm, but she was still suffering from the problems at home. I know the other guys she cheated her 'boyfriend' with and in the end I didn't want to do anything to do with her anymore. We had had a fight and I thought that it'd be better if we just stopped seeing each other.

Now, she told me that she broke up with her 'boyfriend' (the one she cheated on several times) but a year later I saw him again and he asked me how I was and I asked him if he recently saw her. He told me that they were still together.. Now, do I need to tell him about her cheating in the past? Or do I go my way and let them deal with it? I'm not quite sure if they maybe broke up for a while or if he even knows about her past behaviour. Also I read these article that anti-depressives can make people behave recklessy. Should give her the benefit of the doubt? We aren't seeing each other anymore and I'm not really a friend of this guy she's seeing. Do I have to mind my own business or should I tell him?

Thanks for you responses!


- Ni3ma

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4 Responses »

  1. Salaam Sister,

    I would advise that you don't tell him - what he or she do is not really your business and I say stay out of it. One, it will create uneccessary drama for you, the girl and the guy. Two, its malicious and wil cause pain for no good reason. Three, there seems to be no need or good deed that comes as a result of it. Four, you could really seriously hurt somebody. Five, you will suffer the most, because the people around you will fight and reconcile their differences between eachother, however you will carry the burden of being untrustworthy and a gossip for life.

    MashaAllah, you stopped to think before you said something.


  2. i think so too as leyla that yu shouldnt tell the boyfriend. its between them to sort out their problems.

  3. Salam my dear sisters,

    thank you for your response, I hope you're doing great and are in the best of health and Iman, incha'Allah.
    Alhamdulilah, I thought about it for a few days and eventually I just let it go.. Only Allah swt knows what's in the hearts and I don't want to be held responsable for a thing which wasn't my business anyway, eventhough I just wanted to 'help'. As the saying goes, when you get in between the onion and its peel, all what you'll get is its odor.

    Allah 3alam!

    Wassalam N.

  4. Salaam Ni3ma, MashaAllah, mashaAllah! Proud of you sister! May God bless you and grant you peace, happiness and prosperity

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