Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Sinful Past

past, present, future


I have sinned in the past, and I sinned really badly. I moved on with my life and found someone new. I asked Allah (SWT) for forgiveness time and time again and read on a lot of sites that I dont need to disclose my past to my partner, it should stay between me and Allah, and I should constantly ask for forgiveness. My partner knows of my past, but I told him they were rumours and because I've lied to him he's starting to doubt me but we're still together. I want to move past the past on my own and become a better muslim and i dont want the past to ruin or future and our happiness. What should i do? How can I stop feeling like, how do I know that I am on the right path? I dont want to tell him, I really do want to keep my past between me and Allah, but i dont want a bad future for us! Please help!


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4 Responses »

  1. Salam.look you didn't kill anyone and most of all you don't worship an idol Sooo really what could be so bad. Our life will be full of tests right upto the last breath.....Never lie because it will haunt you and it always comes back.basically you lose.The whole system and creation including your body is all in Allah control .If you can't understand this .Then we need to correct are thinking and learn Islam correctly . Those who choose a life of desire fun n games will get there hard life in this world .Allah will fill there lives of uneasiness and stress because controls that heart.If the heart is remembering Allah then the heart reflects on one.Other then this regardless of his or her intelligence or wealth they will not live at ease!!!!!! True success is Obeying the commandments of Allah and teachings of prophet Muhammad PBUH. This is the real success. Today the muslims are so weak .they are all caught up in following the material world that the SHAITANS promote. Involved strong drinks nudity adultery music haram foods and dressing unmodestly.This why the muslims are not in high positions.Majority are living in poverty. DIVORCE IS ALSO UP THERE AND CHILDREN BORN OUT OF WEDLOCK..I CAN'T IMAGINE ON THE DAY OF JUDGEMENT HOW ALLAH WILL DEAL WITH EVERYONE E OF THEM..

  2. The problem is that that sin isn't just between you and Allah. It's between you, your previous partner and everyone else he's told to. So in this instance it would be better to be honest in the beginning or be honest and make amends now. You can try lying to him if you think it will help you but there's a good chance that will erode trust to the point that you two aren't together anymore.

  3. If you committed zinaa in the past then that is of course a serious sin. Normally I would agree with what you read on those other websites - keep the sin to yourself, make tawbah, and do not disclose the past.

    Normally in these situations, when someone is meeting a possible future partner and is questioned about the past, I advise them to say:

    "I made mistakes in the past but I have changed my ways and made tawbah. Whatever I have done is between me and Allah. I will not discuss it or elaborate. If you can accept this then let us proceed Insha'Allah; but if you cannot, then I understand."

    The problem in your situation is that you have already lied. Now your fiance' - if that's what he is, and that's another issue - is suspicious. If he continues probing and asking around, he may uncover the truth.

    You are now in a situation where you have to tell the truth. If the relationship ends as a result, so be it.

    I want to ask you also about the nature of your current relationship. You called the person your "partner". Are you making the same mistake again, getting involved with someone outside of marriage? If so then you have learned nothing. There are no male and female "partners" except husbands and wives. If you want to do things the right way, then get married.

    Wael Editor

  4. Assalamu Alaikkum Sister,

    There is a saying from Allah that "Even if your sins are bigger than the mountain or if it is more than the foam of an ocean, ALLAH WILL FORGIVE YOU, If you repent him sincerely...

    I can understand your feel that, you may think, "My actions are sinful - Will ALAAH (SWT) Forgive me"...

    This doubt is purely from Shaitan.. He will confuse the mind of muhmeen by saying "Allah will not forgive, coz the pblm is big"...

    But this is not true...

    There is another Hadith that, ALLAH (SWT) had divided "LOVE, AFFECTION, CARING" into 100 segments. He shared or alloted only one part of it to All over the globe, it means the love we are showing to your parents, kids or others, the love of an animal towards its own birth, the sympathy of us towards needed etc etc., is just one part of the 100... And ALLAH had kept all the remaining 99 with him..

    His love upon us is unpredictable and out of our imagination... So dont loose hope in ALLAH.. Repent continuously, pray 5 times, if u can do Fasting.... He will forgive surely...

    From your husband point of view, its male nature that they cannot afford the pain of being cheated or hurted... But your activities can change him.. Show pure Love and affection towards him.. Explain him to forgive you with good hadith and examples. I hope insha allah you both will live happily shortly.

    Also dont think too much about your PAST... I know its hard to forget, however try to come out of it... Just move on..

    There is another Hadith that " ALLAH Said, If Humans cannot able to make Sins, He will surely create another creation to do SIns"

    The meaning for above said is, ALLAH wants everyone to do sins and then to Repent and then to avoid the sins..

    Not even a single person or creature in this world is without SINS... For your relaxation, i can say that i did sins more than you and i suffered a lot of punishment from Almighty and now i am repenting and getting out of doing SINS... All praise be to ALLAH...

    Dont worry... ALLAH is there for you....

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