Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Skin color

Girl with hidden face, teenage girl

Assalam alaikum

I am 14 years old girl who sometimes crys because of her skin color. I don't really know what to say but I am dark skin and sometime my friend would make jokes about my skin color Like "who would want you you are a  dark skin" I would ignore it or laugh it off like it was funny. They sometimes say  some pretty dumb comments that I ignored my friend are light skin or brown so they actually don't know what it is like to be dark skin. I always try to show them that I don't care but deep inside it hurts. So Every singal time I use to cry after I come  back from school. So I started to love my skin color by telling my self that this is  how Allah made me and I should be grateful and feel happy about my skin color because at first I hated  my skin color and  By reading blogs about dark skin but then I saw comments that said Pale or light skin people are beautiful blah blah and dark skin girls are ugly. I started crying because it hurt my feelings that everyone thinks the same. So my question is how can I love my skin color without feeling bad about my self?  I pray and read Quran too.


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10 Responses »

  1. Your friends are racist and shouldnt be your friends. Who wants people who are so narrow minded around them. Get better friends. Beauty isnt about colour of skin. Ive seen lots of darker skin women who are beautiful. You are beautiful. Dont let anyone tell you otherwise

  2. I can tell you from experience I'm really pale and fair skinned but I would love colour this is real beauty your really lucky masAllah. Allah made us all different learning to love yourself is a good start and ignore ignorance people they no friend's of yours. To be honest with you it won't bother you within time inshAllah you will learn to become the better person. You are beautiful and I really would stay away from negative people. It does scare me to even know being fair is what people all crave for can I say there is no shame being dark Allah has given beauty to us all, we all should apperiate and embrace it.

  3. Dear Asma,
    As you know teenagers are often mean and thoughtless. I suggest that you find friends who help to build your confidence and not make fun of you. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" - Everyone has their own opinion about what beauty is. Your skin color is only one aspect of who you are. Allah(swt) created each of us the way he wanted us to be. We all come in different colors, shapes, and sizes. My best friend is darker skin and she is considered beautiful. She has a great personality and most people who meet her like her because she is a nice person. Asma, I want you to focus on being a good Muslim and Allah (swt) will bless you with peace and contentment. InshaAllah you will grow up, get married, and have a wonderful life. Love and Salams.....

  4. Salam sister Asma,

    I too am on an extreme side of the skin color scale. I am whiter than snow, never tan, always burn, and ALWAYS get made fun of for my skin color. But feeling bad about something you can't change will not help anyone, including yourself.

    I agree with the first commenter, those people who make jokes about you are not your friends. You should ignore them or if one of them is your best friend then tell her how her jokes make you feel. A real friend would never joke again.

    Just remember that Allah swt gives us tests in everything around us. It is up to us to take a positive stance against those tests.

    Stay strong sister,

  5. Tell them Obama being a dark skinned man once ruled a super powered nation. Could any American ever make fun of his skin colour so upfront ?

    Dont concentrate on what people are saying to you. Concentrate on your career and show them what even a skin color can do which they not being darker yet cannot do apart from passing out obnoxious comments.

  6. Just stay far from such people as they can not be your friends because they don't realise how their comments can affect someone's emotions and making fun always. As you are a teenager you can get negative thoughts out of such comments but you know well yourself so don't bother of those fellows so just stay happy & be among the people who will help to improve your confidence.

  7. I am a good looking guy and I think dark skinned girls are beautiful. There are many of us out there. Dont worry. Focus on having a good heart and character. There are so many beautiful dark skinned women in the world.

  8. Assalaamualaykum Asma,

    I can tell that you're beautiful from where I'm sitting and I can't even see you! Masha Allah.



  9. Im a dark skinned pakistani man .. i used to get teased at school once, because i would be darker when i would play in the sun .. i felt miserable... i hated my friends .. Eventually i focused on my studies, made it to one of the best colleges that left my friends stunned... later on, worked on my personality and my deen, and im 24 today. I workout, i have a beautiful beard, and i look amazing.. things change, the same guys who would make fun of me, call me handsome now.. I workout at the gym too now. so your life will change too,work on your personality, soul and InshaAllah the noor of worship will make you shine

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