Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Desperate to get married

tree lonely

I am lonely. I need your suggestions and ideas

Assalamu Alaykum,

Insha'Allah you're all doing great and having great time....

I'm a Muslim guy, 29 yrs old who migrated to Australia and landed in Melbourne 2 yrs ago. It took sometime to settle of course and to get established since I came here alone.

Since the beginning, marriage has been a topic at the back of my mind. This really makes sense; late 20's, single, cultural shock, etc.... Now to the problem. I tried several ways to find someone such approaching some of the people around me, dating websites, even talking to women of incompatible personality to mine. yep, I'm disparate to get married even if takes approaching the unsuitable person...

I would love to hear any suggestions or new ideas? Your brother here is in a very bad situation. Loneliness, sadness, all haram things around him.....

May Allah forgive me and help me....

 


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8 Responses »

  1. Brother,

    May I inquire where your parents are? Might your family look for a wife for you? Do you have any sisters or relatives who might keep a lookout for you for a pious sister to marry?

    Salam

  2. Assalam alaikum,

    It is my opinion that when we make decisions out of desperation, they are usually not very good. I think you have to take some time to think about what you really want in your future. Forgive me if I am wrong, but it sounds to me like you want your desires fulfilled asap at the cost of being with an incompatible person. Suppose you do get married to anyone who will marry you or that you will marry, imagine how the story will unfold. Marriage isn't simply about fulfilling desires, it is about a lifelong commitment. How will you be able to carry on a life with an incompatible person who doesn't share you vision in life or has dedication to Islam, the most important thing.

    I would suggest to speak to your parents or elders in your family and let them know that you want to get married. Tell them what is most important to you, although they would probably have an idea. I make the assumption that your elders will be available to do that for you--but if not, then the other thing to consider is to go to the Mosque in your local area. You could speak to the Imam there and let him know that you are interested in getting married. He would be in touch with the community and be able to give you an idea of how the community could support you; however, given that you are living on your own, I am sure any girl's family interested in you would want to speak/meet with a member of your family.

    You should not be approaching women directly in terms of marriage as this is not allowed in Islam. She must have her wali present. InshaAllah, I pray that Allah finds a compatible Muslim wife for you. Ameen.

  3. As-salamu alaykum brother,

    We've had some previous posts where people asked for advice about how to find a spouse. There were some good replies on those posts. See for example:

    How can I find suitable partner to avoid giving in to strong carnal urges and falling in sin? (This question was asked by a sister, but the advice is applicable to your situation as well).

    How does someone find their perfect match, if dating is not allowed in Islam?

    I feel so lonely at times and want to find a wife (this one is more about what qualities to look for in a wife; you may find it interesting).

    Is Allah testing me with singledom?

    Practicing Muslim looking for wife

    Also, here's a very comprehensive list of questions to ask, found on Zawaj.com:

    Questions to Ask a Prospective Marriage Partner

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  4. Salaam brother

    If ur lonely then get married. Ur 29 years old wat u waiting for? If u pick the wrong wife then so wat it's
    Life things happen, it's part of life.

    • @Sophia:

      He isnt buying a piece of clothing or item lol
      This is about somones life, Marriage is one of those things that need to be thought through you just dont go and pick sumone.

      Im sorry this advice was horrible I mean seriously cmon. If this is ur philosophy on life good luck

  5. Wa 3alaykum al Salam brother,

    My key advice is don't give up! Maybe this is your test from Allah (Allah knows best).
    Keep searching, make duaa, then put all your trust on Allah, as he is the best of a planners.
    I know it's hard, but stay patient.

  6. Assalamualaikum,

    I understand what you are going through as I am facing the same situation as you where I want to find a compatible muslim guy to marry me. The other brothers and sisters on this forum have suggested some great solutions for this type of situation that you are dealing with. Also, try to fast for a few days as this will help you and prevent you from thinking of certain desires.

    I hope that you will one day find a wonderful wife inshaAllah.

    Fatima

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