Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Social Phobia/Anxiety

woman worried about her husband's behaviour

Hello Everybody

I am here because of my problem called Social Phobia, which has made it difficult for me to live here.

I am muslim - I pray, I Recite Holy Quran daily - but don't know what reason is  behind this illness. From childhood I have been teased, and I was also shy and now that shyness is converted into Social Anxiety. I am not living my life like everyone is living, and now I'm getting sick of it.

I want to get rid from it as soon as possible, so please guide me how do I kill this Disease? I have read so many articles of past Social Phobia Patients, they have written that they got treated from Psychialogists and they took Medicines and they got rid from it, now they are living Happy Lives. But I cant go to a Psychialogist because I can't share my problem.

My Age is 16, please tell me from which Medicine I can get rid from it, and what should I do so i can get rid from it. Believe me that it is  the World's most Worst Phobia, and that anxiety makes Depression...

I hope you will understand my feelings. I am from Pakistan, please guide me... Thanks.



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18 Responses »

  1. AOA Shahvez,

    I have read your post. You should also mention some examples like that type of things cause anxiety which ultimately lead to depression?

    May Allah gives you peace of mind.


  2. AsSalaamu Alaikum,

    I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I can really sympathize with you, as I have experienced this illness before. Similarly to your situation, I was also very shy, and that shyness converted into Social Anxiety which kept me away from people most of my life. I also felt like I can't share my problem (perhaps because I didn't understand it or know what it was). However, alhamdulillah I ended up in the hands of a good professional Muslim psychologist who within a short time (through few questions) was able to understand my problem better than myself, and due to that I have really improved very much, comparing the past and present. Alhamdulillah.

    So the best way to get better, is to see a good professional Muslim psychologist. It may not require much talking from your side, inshaAllah. And perhaps they may combine useful medications and some trainings for you inshaAllah.

    Also you may repeat "HasbunAllahu; Wani'mal-wakeel" more frequent, especially when the feelings start to approach you, and you will feel better instantly, inshaAllah.

    Allah subhanahu wata'la says in the Holy Quran:

    173. Those to whom the people have said, "The people have mobilized against you, so fear them." But this only increased them in faith, and they said, "Allah is enough for us; He is the Excellent Protector (i.e. HasbunAllahu; Wani'mal-Wakeel)."

    174. So they came back with grace from Allah, and bounty, and no harm having touched them. They pursued what pleases Allah. Allah possesses immense grace.

    175. That is only Satan frightening his partisans; so do not fear them, but fear Me, if you are believers.
    (Quran 3: 173-175)

    May Allah subhanahu wata'ala ease things for you and grant you shifa. Ameen!

    • Aslaam brother Issah 🙂

      How are you doing anyway? I was pondering the website and the thought hit my find to find you and see how you doing because I remember you saying you had suicidal thoughts in a post or something?

      Anyways yeah, how are you? Are you feeling better inshallah?


      • Aslaam brother Asim 🙂

        You may not know me but I remember your post.

        You had some issues with the mods & vowed never to comeback here.

        But, you are back,nice to see your post again 🙂

        • Aslamm my friend

          Yeah I had probelms with the mods and did say that I aint posting agIn but there was a girl who asked an important question in which I felt I could help her with an answer here so here I am lol

          If one can help someone then they should.


      • Wa Alaikum as-salaam warahmatullahi wabarakaatuh, brother Asim, my old friend. ☺☺ I'm doing well alhamdulillah, and hope the same with you inshaAllah.

        By the way, I think you were mistaking me for the other brother, Isa, right?! Yeah, I know we look alike.

  3. AoA Shahvez.
    My name is Hasnain and I've been suffering from social anxiety too.
    I've seen so many poor people who go to an Imam and talks about social anxiety. They give him a few ayats to repeat and the poor fellow end up worse.
    My argument is that Imam isn't qualified to do such a thing. When you have a broken bone, you need to visit a doctor. Similarly Social Anxiety Disorder is a mental disorder because your brain is releasing really bad amount of Adrenaline and Cortisol.
    It's happening in your Amygdala while your Pre Frontal Cortex or thinkimg brain stops working properly. You can't think and you know that feeling really well.
    I've been to so many Imam, some performing exorcism some giving me ayats to recite, even my friends telling me that I should pray 5 times a day but even that did not help, because problem wasn't spiritual!
    So instead of wasting your time go visit website called (google it maybe I've made mistake in link)
    There they give CBT courses. They are the best and the most rational treatments. Like a broken bone, you need to visit a doctor no matter if he is muslim or non muslim. So for social anxiety you don't really need a Muslim psychologist, but anyone who would understand your problem and work with you.
    Moreover if you can't afford the courses, you can find them in torrents and can printout the handbook they give so you can have reading material too.
    Jazak Allah bro :')

  4. Hi there, I can understand what you're saying but I'll add up here briefly that since you have it, just don't worry about now, time will heal if you communicate with others . As I'm same in that, so if you'd like to communicate to make it a little easier? We can talk on wattsapp if you don't mind.

    • Hello I'm Abdul Hannan. I'm going through the same condition (social anxiety/phobia) and I wanna to talk to the people who are experiencing the same problem. So if u don't mind can we talk
      P.S (Any one who is reading my comment can talk to me i will be very thankful to them)
      I'm really fed up with mah life due to this social anxiety.

      • Yes, you can give your email where we could contact or anybody who who would like to communicate their daily sufferings which are beyond tolerance but talking might make it less intolerant.

      • Hello, I am Marie and I have social anxiety. I pray 5 times a day, fast , zikir and read Quran daily , like any other muslim. I like to go out and do activities and it is okay for me, if the place have many random people. But i got stressed if i got invited to social gathering where i have to interect with people.Have anxiety even before I attend the event.
        My husband is very socialize person. So he get invited alot. He always forces me to go with him, eventhough i already said no. How is the best way to handle my situation. Usually i feel teribble during and after attending such event. Its never get better.

        • Marie: But i got stressed if i got invited to social gathering where i have to interact with people.Have anxiety even before I attend the event.

          What is the worse that you think can happen if you go to social gatherings and interact with people? Do you have more problem Interacting with men? Do you think every one in the gathering is better looking, better thinking than you?

          • Usually I will try my best to blend in. I don't know much about handbag and such. When they start talking about ppl , i don't comment and don't add to the conversation. In other topic, i think I was doing alright. By the next time we meet, or in social media, they act all weird on me. So i guess, i'm bad at communicating. I will brush off the negative vibes, But i don't feel welcome or part of the group. So every time we meet, it gives me more anxiety. I don't know what i'm doing wrong. Being myself, i don't talk much. But it would be awkward to just sit there alone in a gathering, which what i do sometime in an effort to be myself. It is so tiring to figure it out. And draining my positivity. I don't have any initial opinion on people beforehand, rather worried that people would not like me. Which always seems true.
            I have a twin brother. I am a women. When we were small we share the same group of friends. They were all boys. All through my teenage years all my close friends were boys. They treat me like one of them. So i never have a girl best friend. I am 36, married with 2 kids. With men i feel that i can speak my mind without worring i might offend someone. We makes jokes about our weakness. if there any misunderstanding we discuss it openly. I gradually leave all my friend (men) as i grew older and no longer befriended men after i got married. It makes me feel lonely sometimes.

  5. Hello friend ! My name is abbas arif,and i have the same problem,but i am living in a area or society where no one to understand my disease, i feel like that everyone is critcized me and some of them 'll kill me as knowing that am stupid and foolish,i every time have been feeling that someone judging me and after it kill me,this problem creating svere problems in my real life and when i go to my college istart feeling the boys will tease me ,and i would have nothing to do against them ,it makes me everytime a humilated boy in the face of my society ,and one other talk that i forget to describe that i coul'nd sleep the whole night just thinking that what will happen to the next day with me me in my college,they 'll resticate me fro cillege because i am not a good boy,and when i syart learning ,i think that some of my class fellow will stole my learning from my mind but it never have been happened,my age is 16,plz for God sake somebody help me how can i get rid of this wrost disease plz i need severe help of someone ,some time sucidal thought start pooping in my mind plz Help me.....

  6. I will say that focus on the things that are provoking or triggering anxiety in you. Like e.g. if you are worried about tomorrow's test and you think if not prepared the students and also the teacher will shame or criticise you and that will trigger anxiety in you. So the thing is you have to prepare your test and when you will get 100 percent marks, the anxiety will not even touch you.

    Apply the same thing in every situation. Just say your thoughts whatever or whenever you are feeling something is not right, don't ever worry about people they don't pay you to live your own life. Be kind, humble and good to people everytime including your family.

    Build good relations with everyone it is the most important thing in your life and in this all family comes first and you will never feel lonely.

    Try to talk and be a friend with your class fellows. When we don't make friends and try to stay away with them, then they interpret or criticise us. So the rule is talk with everyone, express your thoughts no matter what they will think just be you but in a good way that benefits the other one.

    Remember live your life as you want again I say but in a good way that benefits the other one, because no one pays you to live your own life.

    Life is short, we will not live forever, just be prepared for everything before time and it will vanish the anxiety for forever. Ameen

    I hope you understand what I say, Allah bless you.

  7. Hello. Plz listen to or read Sura e nazihat daily. Also, do these two zikers. 1. la howla wla quwata Illah Billah... 2. Ya hayu ya qayum.
    Get well soon.

  8. Marie: Usually I will try my best to blend in........ i think I was doing alright. By the next time we meet, or in social media, they act all weird on me. So i guess,.. i'm bad at communicating............ i don't feel welcome or part of the group. So every time we meet, it gives me more anxiety. I don't know what i'm doing wrong........ worried that people would not like me. Which always seems true.

    I think you are an intelligent young woman. Your anxiety is making you feel insecure and think people don't like you.

    How worrying about "people would not like you" going to help you? Does your husband know about your anxiety problem?

    In some people anxiety problem is caused by physical, mental and/or sexual abuse that occurred while growing up. Your comment does not show any thing about this abuse.

    Do you remember when you noticed anxiety problem for the first time? What thoughts cause you this anxiety problem?

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