Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My son loves his non-Muslim father

Loving father and son

Father and son

Salam I have very important question to ask

I've a baby with a non-Muslim man and I don't know what my option is. I love my little family and wouldn't want to change it. But my mother has issues with due to the fact he's not Muslim!

He's ok with me practicing my religion and our son being raised in a muslim house hold.

He is willing to learn the religion so that he can teach our son but because he did not grow up with it. He doesn't want to  convert just for my mum and I think that's ok because only Allah swt can guide him to it.

I don't know what to say to my mother so she can understand it my son loves having his dad at home but I'm stuck in the middle of it all.


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16 Responses »

  1. wow im shocked.I guess its true a time will come when the knowledge will decrease from this ummah.DO YOU KNOW THAT YOUR MARRIAGE IS INVALID.?YOU ARE COMMITTING ADULTRY. MY SISTER IF YOU DONT GO TO YOUR LOCAL MOSQUE AND ASK THE IMAM OR MUFTI ABOUT YOUR SITUATION ?.THEN KNOW THIS THE PUNISHMENT IN THE HEREAFTER IS SEVERE! YOU WILL NEITHER LIVE OR DIE.YOU DO HAVE TIME SO FIND THE CORRECT SOLUTION BECAUSE THESE BOARDS CAN HELP YOU ON CERTAIN QUESTIONS AND ON THE OTHERHAND PEOPLE CAN MISLEAD YOU.Oh by the way my wife is a full sunni scholor so dont take this lightly.Remeber this! And that is SUCCESS IN THIS WORLD AND IN THE HEREAFTER IS ONLY OBEYING THE COMMANDMENTS OF ALLAH THROUGH ARE PROPHET MUHAMMAD PHUB FOR HE IS AN EXAMPLE AND GUIDING LIGHT.SO regardless of material possession or beauty or whatever it is .It is only Allah that gives peace and contentment to the heart and it is Allah that can take away everything even if the whole people of the world and all there intelligence were to plan and plot it will come to an end if Allah wills it.So why waste your time in disobedience you will only lose when your time in this world expires!

  2. Dear sister
    I'm too in shock in you have written, your so well messed up and can't see from the right path to the wrong.
    Please go to the mufti as you have very very less knowledge of Islam.
    Your changing ways of Islam teachings according to your worldly needs. MAY ALLAH FORGIVE YOU FOR THE WRONG AND MAY YOU BE GUIDED ON THE RIGHT PATH OF ISLAM, Ameen!
    Brother Raul has given his Islamic views and mentioned how to go about your current situation, may you take that step in the right direction and stop now before its too late.
    We can die anytime whether your young or old when our times up its up,so please stop and stop committing one sin upon another.
    Western society has messed us up our children have opened the doors towards the devils happiness.

    • Raheela: Western society has messed us up our children have opened the doors towards the devils happiness.

      People choose to come to Western countries for a better life. I think it is wrong to blame Western countries for messing up our children. Things like Zina and children sexual abuse happens all over the
      world. Millions of Men from so called good societies do fraudulent marriages to get their citizenships. Millions live on welfare all their lives in Western countries. You can see what people from good societies are doing now a days.

  3. How could you marry a non-Muslim? Only men are allowed to marry non-Muslim women under certain conditions. If you divorce now lot of brothers will not marry you because you are divorced unless you can get them a citizenship. Did your family participate in the marriage?

    • Dear brother SVS,

      Please don't scare her by telling that lot of brothers will not marry her if she divorces her husband.

      Rather encourage her and give her hope that Allah will help her find a better muslim husband who will be even better than the non-muslim husband.

      She's already going through a hard time. Give her support instead of scolding her.

  4. Walaikomalsal sister

    May Allah bless you and guide you to live according to his deen.

    The information you gave above are not enough to give a full answer to your situation.

    having a baby with a non muslim man ? does that mean >>>
    >> ( Case One (1) ) >> you commit zina and still living with him in same condition( may Allah forbid )
    >>( Case Two (2) ) >> you are married to him ? and if you are married to him ....does that mean
    + You married a non muslim while you were a muslim ( invalid marriage)
    +( Case Three (3) ) >> You became muslim after the marriage (marriage is valid provided he also become muslim)

    ----- answer to ( Case One (1) ) and ( Case Two (2) )
    in case that
    there was no marriage
    you married a non muslim while you are muslim yourself (invalid marriage) ,

    you move out immediately and seek forgiveness from Allah and make lots of istigfar. Explain the situation to your boyfriend that this relationship was not right and if he is serious about making a relationship with you he can study islam and if he accepts it he should marry you. if you gave up on him look for a muslim husband with whom you can make a muslim family and live a Halal life..

    ----- answer to ( Case Three (3) )
    in the last case
    You became muslim after the marriage

    you and your son should strive to call him to Islam, for that will be better for both of you, so that the family will not be divided. Tell him that Islam forbids you to stay with him, and that there is no solution to this problem except his becoming Muslim. Give him 3 month to think seriously about Islam and study it , with no pressure at all from your side... you can stay in the same house for 3 menstrual cycles or their equivalent (about 3 month) .. to give him ample time but you should stop sharing bed with him :

    >> if, during this period, he accepts Islam you can continue living together and you do not need to remarry
    >> if he still needs more time , you need to move out and you can wait for him as long as you sees suitable, However, you are not obliged to the marriage as it is piratically ended the day you moved out, and you can marry another person if you give up on him; a muslim husband with whom you can make a muslim family and live a Halal life..

    in all cases, your son should love and treat his father with utmost kindness and serve him and help him as much as he can, even if his father continues to be non muslim.

    May Allah guide you, increase your iman and help you live a Halal life..

  5. Revise your marriage first, then look on your baby/child. YOUR MARRIAGE WITH NON-MUSLIM HUSBAND IS QUESTIONABLE??? in Islamic view point.

    Take care of this world, and look on after life as well.


  6. Buy a second set of cooking pans n pots. One for halaal and another for whatever. Tell ur mother whom is grandmother, that to stop harassing. What is in the best interests for the child? To hold together as a loving family unit or divide and be a broken home because of differences in religion? Hes already said he will learn Islam. Until then u might be married but its come we stay then just remarry again and second honey moon with him. Simple. And yes the child will love his parents and should be encouraged to do so regardless of religion culture money.

  7. Hi. This is for the editors, a little confused: why are different and totally unconnected posts showing under the username 'Daisy'?

    Apologies if this has been explained earlier.


    • Assalaamualaikam

      We recently had a purge of spam registrations and comments, which unfortunately affected some of our pending posts. Alhamdulillah we were able to recover them, but the system allocated them to the username 'Daisy'.

      Midnightmoon editor

  8. I have posted to the OP here. Why has it been removed?
    And now my posts are under moderation. I have been a loyal poster here for years - I don't understand. I posted nothing abusive, or inappropriate.

    • I have taken you off moderation. But I will delete any comments that state or imply that it's allowable for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man. The vast majority of scholars have ruled otherwise. It's clear in the Quran.

      Wael Editor

      • Thank you for letting me know.

        The fatwa I linked came from a renowned scholar, with sources and references to the Quran..

        What I have loved about this site is its willingness to allow different perspectives and openness in discussion even when it comes to topics that are controversial. I have never seen before that quotes from acclaimed Muslim scholars with proof from the Quran and sunnah have been refused here.

        This has made this a place of truth and courage. Now I have lost something important. I will grieve.

        • There are certain opinions that I have never allowed on this website. I won't allow anyone to try to justify wife-beating, or sexual slavery, for example, because they are destructive behaviors that are not consistent with the spirit of Islam, no matter what any scholar might say. Similarly, a woman's marriage to a non-Muslim is destructive to her faith and to the upbringing of a Muslim family. There is no level on which it makes sense or can result in anything good. This is not a fiqh website, dedicated to analyzing all opinions. It is an advice website, intended to guide people in distress to what is best for them.


  9. Astagfar. What are u meant to say when u read this. I think everyone has answered the question. But this I think is a small insight of being a Muslim and a believing Muslim differ. May Allah forgive u

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