Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I stopped doing bad things, but I’m afraid my family will find out

Pre-marital/extra-marital relationships are haram in Islam


im a muslim female. i used to lead a bad past as i used to drink too.

2 years ago when i was 16, i was in a relationship with a muslim boy, however, my family didnt know. 2 years ago we split up, i hit a depression as i did truly love him.

i then confronted a family member and told her everything knowing she wouldnt judge me as we were very close. she told me what i was doing was wrong. i realised 10000% that she was right and that it was all my fault as i was leading a bad past.

i sincerely repented and begged for Allahs forgiveness promising him that i would not repeat my mistakes and that instead i will focus on my religion and my family. i then started doing the right thing, i took better care of my family, im focusing on my religion, i also work in a charity shop, i became a good person. when i think back to those times during my past, i am deeply ashamed and even till this day, i havent been able to forgive myself. every night i still apologise for my behaviour in the past to Allah.

however, a few weeks ago i had the results to my exams and i did great! but because of that my family member (the one i confessed to) became very jealous, and she started revealing bits of my past, like how i used to hang around with friends that are guys.

i dont now but i admit i used to. now im worried she may reveal my relationship as it is was to come out, my life would be ruined and it will tear my family apart. furthermore, i used to text her about my relationship and although her phone broke and was never fixed and she had her number changed, i worry that she might have proof.

i admit its all my fault, but i am truly sorry and ive worked so hard to make it right, and if i could tear my past from my life, i would but i cant. i read so many forgiveness duas and everything. but what do i do now? i cant confess and no- one will ever understand and i cant confront her either as i hardly see her but what do i do, is there any duas to help me through this difficulty?/ is there any duas to stop sins from bein revealed? please help me, im trying hard to make things right 🙁

p.s for those who believe in it, i think she may be under black magic, so is there any duas i can read for her that protects her from it, please email me for any other advice you can give me, i would also like some views off a imam.

please help, please pray for me, im not a bad person, i really aint, im ever so sorry

jazakallah khair

- zahra78666

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    Narrated Ibn Abbas
    Whenever the Prophet offered the night (Tahajjud) prayer, he used to say, "O Allah! All the Praises are for You; You are the Light of the Heavens and the Earth. And all the Praises are for You; You are the Keeper of the Heavens and the Earth. All the Praises are for You; You are the Lord of the Heavens and the Earth and whatever is therein. Youare the Truth, and Your Promise is the Truth, and Your Speech is the Truth, and meeting You is the Truth, and Paradise is the Truth and Hell (Fire) is the Truth and all the prophets are the Truth and the Hour is the Truth. O Allah! I surrender to You, and believe in You, and depend upon You, and repent to You, and in Your cause I fight and with Your orders I rule. So please forgive my past and future sins andthose sins which I did in secret or in public. It is You Whom I
    READ THESE IN YR DUVA-O Allaah, enlighten what is dark in me, strengthen what is weak in me, mend what is broken in me, bind what is bruised in me, heal what is sick in me, straighten what is crooked in me, and revive peace and love that has died in me Aameen!Obedience to Allaah Most High is not attainable without self-restraint.

    "O Allah, Make Your love the most beloved thing to me of all loves, and make my fear of you be the most fearful thing to me of all fears. Free me of the necessities of this world, by [granting me] a desire to meet You. When the eyes of the people of the world are cooled by their worldly belongings, let my eyes be cooled by Your worship.”

    The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam, said: “The master of invocations for forgiveness is that the servant says:
    ‘Allãhumma ‘anta rabbee, lã ‘ilãha ‘illã ‘anta, khalaqtanee, wa ‘anã `abduka, wa ‘anã `alã `ahdika wa wa`dika mastata`tu, ‘a`outhu bika min sharri ma sana`tu, ‘aboo’u laka bini`matika ‘alayya, wa ‘aboo’u bithambee, faghfirlee fa’innahu lã yaghfiru ‘aththunooba ‘illã ‘anta.
    O’ my ‘ilãh You are my Lord, there is no ‘ilãh but You. You created me, and I am your bondservant, and I will stick to my covenant and promise [of faith and sincere obedience] to You, as to my ability. I seek refuge in You from the evil of what I have done, I acknowledge, to You, your bounties upon me, and I acknowledge, to You, my sin. Thus forgive me, for none forgives sins except You.
    Whoever says this as he enters upon evening, then, dies that night, he would enter Paradise; and if one says this as he enters upon morning, then, dies that day, he would enter Paradise”. [Al-Bukhari]


  2. keep sins secret never discus abt it to anyone and past is past Allah knows u better than anyone and Allah will protect u for sure , never think abt those sins again moveon in life and forget past be good to everyone and do good deeds,

    jazakallah khair

    • alsalammu alaikum
      am sorry but i have to disagree with you in one point zoyafathima...
      she should remember her sins so she could say astaghfiru allah.
      mashaa allah when i read your forum Zahar u sounded like the believer and not the fajir in the following quote:
      "The believer sees his sins as if he is sitting at the foot of a mountain fearing that it might fall on him, while the sinner (fâjir) sees his sins as a fly that lands on his nose, he just waves it away."
      it is good that you also did bad thing because look at you now you are who you are now from what happened so dont beet your self up keep the istighfaar and hopefully Allah will guide us all in the right path...
      about worrying weather you past will be told just keep making duaa and say :allahumma istur banaat el mu'ineen or allahumma asturney....
      just keep saying it all the time and inshaa allah your secret will be safe 🙂
      i hope i helped.. and know this that we are all humans we all make mistakes 😀 like The Prophet said, "Every person commits sins. And the best sinners are those who repent."
      btw is it weird if i say am soo proud of you and i just want to give you a big sisterly hug!!


  3. Assalam alaikum,

    Sorry to hear what you are going through. Glad that you have changed your ways, Alhumdulillah.

    First, how are you sure that your old friend you trusted is the one spreading the rumours?

    If you are sure it is her, I would confront her and talk to her. You could get angry with her, but I would suggest a gentler approach. Remind her that she is backbiting and Allah said in the Quran:

    1. “O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, in deeds some suspicions are sins. And spy not neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allah, verily, Allah is the one who accepts repentance, Most Merciful” (Al-Hujuraat 49: 12).

    2. Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet said, “Do you know what backbiting is?” They said, “Allah and His Messenger know best.” He then said, “It is to say something about your brother that he would dislike.” Someone asked him, “But what if what I say is true?” The Messenger of Allah said, “If what you say about him is true, you are backbiting him, but if it is not true then you have slandered him.” . (Muslim)

    So regardless whether it is true or not, no one should say anything. I think this is the best that you can do because you are really are powerless with respect to what other's will say, except of course the power of Du'a. Hopefully by instilling fear of Allah's anger in her, she may think twice about what she is doing.

    Next time, do not trust anyone with information from you past. That is between you and Allah. Make tawbah as much as you can and do not repeat the mistakes from the past. Believe in your heart that Allah is control over all things--instead of worrying about what will happen, put your full trust in Allah.

    May Allah forgive our sins. Ameen.

  4. Assalam o alaikum
    can i ask you through email? have any email add:?

  5. i cannot believe it some people react so rudely! If you cant say anything of wisdom and guidance to Fatima then please at least be quiet and do not say anything! Let the editiors do their job then.

  6. You should never tell any relatives!, just best freind but not everything!! She wont have saved the old texts, they are too old n her phone broke.

    So dont worry about it, if it comes out just say she's lying cos she's jealous or crazy lol. Its not the end of the world, loads of people do this. Your cousin needs to grow up. End of.

  7. Assalamu Alaykum

    Sister, Alhamdulillah, you have repented and changed your ways. Coming from sinner who has repented, don't dwell on your past as it's something you can't change. Just keep remembering Allah, read Quran often, do dhikr of Allah often, seek forgiveness from Allah often. If you commit sin then remember Allah immediately and seek his forgiveness. The closer you get to Allah the better. Insha Allah, may Allah grant you his immense mercy and peace and may He keep you on the straight path.

    About this sister that you had revealed your sins too. Revealing sins is not something your should do, I learnt this from past experience and it is in our deen. If no one knows then it is a mercy from Allah that he has hidden it and it is chance for you to move on life. Off loading this baggage onto someone else is not the way the way to go.

    However now that she knows your in a tough spot. But there is something you need to remember, everything is in Allah's hands. If Allah wants to reveal your sins he will and you can't stop Him. However, have a good opinion of Allah, pray often to him. Read much Quran. Then do dua straight after your good deeds, make dua straight away. They are specific duas mentioned by the people on this forum. Equally say what want to say, whatever is in your heart, what you want, beg him to not reveal this sins and seek his forgiveness. Then leave the matter with Allah, and be positive. If the sins are revealed, it maybe for your benefit, if the sins are concealed then it maybe for your benefit.

    Finally, if they are revealed, you don't have justify yourself to anyone. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone. You have repented and moved on in your life. Everyone will make a mistake. Shaytan is on the Allah's straight path, waiting for the muslim, hiding from place the muslim cannot see, waiting for the best time to attack. He will attack you from all sides, day and night, repeatedly over and over. Allah has repeatedly warned us that shaytan wants to humiliate us in anyone, reveal our shamelessness, destroy is.

    I am no scholar or learned individual, but a muslim trying to attain paradise

    My Allah forgive me if I have said anything incorrect ameen


      I know you are worried about your past you know allah is kinder than a mother have the niyath that you will not do the same mistake over.. close the chapter also what i can say u is repent as much as u can u will feel a lightness in ur heart where it feels so good.. Just try this go to ur room pray two rakah sunnah insake of allah and den cry and ask him sry for all the sins you did.. cry how muchyou want infront of him to get him forgivness as well as their are repentance duas too read that too. Sister as far as u know allah will protect me allah is with me have that intention no one can harm u

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