Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I want to be a straight muslim man, please help me.

path heaven hell road, way to Jannah

Assalamualaikum my dear Muslim brothers and sisters.
I am a young Muslim suffering from the fact of being a homosexual.I have gotten some advice and I am also asking for more.As I was saying earlier on I am a young boy who is just 14 years and I live with my parents .

When I was a little boy of just 2 years I lived in a large compound with a lot of neighbours and friends sometimes we even regarded each other as siblings.I was raped at young age when I was 2 years then unfortunately for me after being into such dilemna after a day he,my neighbour who was about 16,he was a son of a pastor , called me again and offered me candy and he still had a sexual affair with this continuously happened for a whole year .After a year when I was three we relocated and we started to live with my grandparents ,there I had a lot of relative ,we were about 45 of us that lived in that house,.the building was large with 24 bedrooms.2 wks later my parents decided to visit the house of that pastor.there, I saw the boy fortunately for me I refused to come.But the his elder sister called me ,she asked to sleep with her so that she could offer me some biscuits .I ran away with the biscuits and I didn't sleep with her.The next day a cousin of mine finished middle school and he was supposed to live with us unluckily shaytan made him to force himself on me.

Many boys I have had liking for did have likings for me just only on slept with one but I have never seen him for a long time now I heard that he has a girlfriend that cousin of mine was beaten my grandparents two months ago when I confessed my parents didn't beat me the only thing hey said was why didn't I tell them earlier.Alhamdulillah they understood and my cousin parents had dealt with him presently he has not seen me fir the past 3 years.I have stared night prayers so that Allah can solve my problem and he should forgive me.

He never knew that I had ever slept with another boy.After some days I started to have a liking fro him and we had a secret sexual affair for 6 consecutive months.Astigifurullah! if I had known right now as I am typing this ,tears are rolling from my eyes for I have sinned from young age.My cousin's elder brother warned him but he never listened he still continued.I started to mingle with my female cousins and aunts.That cousin of mine was the only homosexual in our house.

After another year I left that house and we renovated to another .There ,my mother gave birth to my little sisters,2 of them we usually played together and I used to play pretend with them either as a mother or as a nurse I never knew the effect it was going to have on me until I got into middle school.I had a junior brother and we had just one sexual affair but we have stopped.I become more religious and I also prayed often something strange started to happen to me. Shaytan would come to me at night and I will have awful nightmares that made me scared and it also effeminates me.Subhannallah ! If I had known.Later on in the night I would see scratches on me when I woke up in my dream someone will be touching my genitals not a man nor a woman but a strange creature it frightened me a lot.
When I got into middle school some boys started to discover my feminine behavioure an d they stared to nickname me "boy girl" in fact they called me all sort of feminine names.Later on I went to a party organised by the school and I danced like a girl in fact I even shook my waist .Subhanallah! From they started to call me A fag .

I became upset and I always wondered why life was like this later on those boys who called me girl boy stared to talk about gay pornography and I logged on into the internet and I saw wonders later on a friend of mine advised me that aren't I tired of all the humiliation that I should be a man I told him my past and he sympathisized with me And he is teaching the basic ways to be a boy .By behaving like one.Although it is not affecting my studies all these boy who made gist of me aren't good as I Am presently Alhamdulillah.

I Need help before getting into high school next year because those boys who were in middle school who I was with in 7 th grade , are going to humiliate me please I need advice.I am presently developing a liking for girls I hope it will not develop to bisexuality.Please ask Allah to Forgive and please pray for me.Ma salam


Tagged as: , , , , , , , ,

9 Responses »

  1. can i just ask where were your parent's you say this started at 2 years of age, speak to your parents you are still a child.

  2. Khattab,

    Seek Allah's forgiveness for your transgressions and remember, Allah is oft forgiving. For those who abused you and took advantage of your innocence, may Allah curse them and punish them on the day of judgement for their deeds. Is there any chance that there is another high school for you to attend with people who may not know you? Also, the boys that you know from the seventh grade...were you promiscuous with them? If you were, chances are they are not going to say anything at all because they will not only hurt and humiliate you...they too will incur problems from other students.

    Keep your faith in Allah, ask Allah for forgiveness and remember him often. As you are trying to turn yourself around to the straight path, you are doing the right thing. May Allah guide you and keep you going in the right direction.


  3. Salaams Brother Khattab

    The first thing you should remind yourself is all that happened to isn't your fault. You were at a tender age of 2- you were still a toddler exposed to sexual abuse. You were very young when you made all these mistakes. But now you are 14 and you are very much aware of what is right and what is wrong. Brother you should forget the idea of being bisexual. Allah has created you as a male.There is nothing feminine about you, It is only shaytaan whispering in your ear about being bisexual. You need to shake to this feeling of being bisexual. You may being wondering how ?

    1. Focus more on your deen
    2. Whenever you get this thought, read dua's, namaaz, think about your religion

    You should also associate with good company. Boys who would have a good influence in your life. Don't be friends with guys who speak about pornography. Don't logon to the internet to look at this as this may only influence you to do more wrong.

    Brother, as easy as this sounds, try to close that chapter in your life. Don't look back. Make sincere tawbah and ask Allah to protect you.

    Why don't you speak to your parents and ask them if you could go to a different school? This would do great for you. It would give you a chance to start up all fresh. If your parents are not too keen about this then just remember you can't change these boys behaviour. In life you would meet all sorts of people. My advise to you would be just to lend a deaf year. Pretend like those comments don't hurt you. In time they would just get tired or bored.

    My duas are with you


  4. Brother, you have suffered immensley at the hands of some evil people. So everything that happened to you in your childhood is the past, and none of it was your fault. If it helps i think you should seek proffesional counselling. I think becasue you were abused my men, you have grown up with the mentality that you are gay, I don't believe you are gay, as you say at the end you are developing a liking for girls and at your age now this is the right time when young people start feeling attraction towards someone.
    I think everything you did before this time as been a reaction to some terrible things that went on in your life, some out of your control, some when you were influenced by others and some out of mere childishness. You are very, very young and I think you need to try and let go of the past and live your life.
    Why don't you step away from all these people who say horrible things to you, lose contact with them, concentrate on yourself, learn your deen, make new pious friends, attend gathering of scholars and mingle with good people.
    Also concentrate on your studies, you have a future insha-allah so renew your faith by actively seeking guidance from Allah.

    I hope it all works out for you.

  5. At 14 years of age you are still a child, and are just beginning to have true sexual attractions to other persons and to understand what these feelings are. This is a difficult time for all children your, and especially difficult for you considering your very horrible past. The very first thing I want you to understand is that you were raped and sexually assaulted, you might feel that you consented to these acts in order to gain biscuits or other possible bribes that they offered you, but the fact is is that you were and possibly still are too young to consent to sex, or sexual relations of any nature. You have done nothing wrong and were taken advantage of by numerous people. The people who have done this to you are the ones who have done wrong. In my profession I counsel children who have experienced situations very similar to yours, children who have been sexually assaulted and raped, and I strongly encourage you to seek counseling for this and ask for help. Those who have done this to you deserve to be punished as well. You must be feeling very confused about everything that has happened as well as your sexual orientation. Figuring out your sexual orientation should right now be the least of your worries, you must focus on coming to terms with and dealing with the emotional, mental and possible physical pain that has come from your abuse. Please find a counselor you trust and who you can discuss this with. This is nothing you should be ashamed of, you have done nothing wrong. Stay strong during this very difficult time and I will remember you and think of you in my prayers. There are also many hotlines you can call for more specific advice on counselling. I wish you the best of luck and remember you have done nothing wrong. Also, talk to your parents about what happened and I would encourage you to contact the authorities regarding this issue, it is never too late to do so and those who did this deserve their punishment and to be stopped before they can (and they will) to some other child. God be with you.

  6. You have experienced sexual curiosity at an earlier stage- which is why you have been involved with boys, as girls are unavilable at that age. I feel bad saying this- but man up. Our prophet was the best of men, emulate him. Or watch how other men behave and act, and be them. Also I would strongly advise you not to reveal this to anyone you know personally, unless parents, brothers or sisters. In particular a future spouse, these negative emotions will make you an emotional burden, and have heard too many times of women being "turned off" by these past abuses, so keep it to yourself. Build up your confidence, learn about the dheen, do some kickboxing, dont get too determined to bring people to justice, if it exposes you, your not ready for that fight yet. But your not homosexual, you were abused...and had low self esteem so you began self-indulging. Your young, insha'allah you will have anouther 14 years, this time full of hope. And then anouther 14 years and you would have forgoten all about it, insha'allah.

    • Assalamu alaikum,

      Are you serious Amil? SubhanAllah! This brother's involvement had nothing to do with 'sexual curiosity' and everything to do with him being ABUSED by evil people! He was a two-year old, a little baby barely weaned from his mother's breast and men much older than him FORCED him into sexual acts! This probably caused his sexual confusion and his much too early awareness of sexuality. If you felt bad saying something then you probably shouldn't have said it. It was incredibly insensitive to be honest sister. Abuse is not something that you just 'forget' nor is it something that can be erased by acting like a 'real man' or attending some kickboxing sessions. Also the notion that any pious Muslim sister would be 'turned off' by her husband opening his heart to her and revealing past hawla wa la quwatta ilah bi Allah. May Allah swt guide you and help you to develop a more compassionate nature toward others.

  7. thank you so much for all your advise .May Allah bless you all.Please is there any dua I can say during the forth coming Ramadan .Please I will appreciate if you can send some to me concerning my issue.

  8. brother if you still visit this page;

    please check out the following link;

    you can download it is as document, it contains a lot of advice and guidance, to show you a way out of this sickness... concentrate on sections about mercy and taqwa, the appenidices contain many duas for u to use.

    insha'allah it will be of benefit to you.

    download it, and share it to others to spread the benefit.

Leave a Response