Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I am a girl and I think my friend is pretty, is that bad?

Two Muslim girls.Asalamualaikum, i am a 16 year old girl that is currently struggling with hocd (Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). Before i was questioning my sexuality but i know that i am straight.

My main concern is my best friend, we have been friends for over 2 yrs and i have never had a bad thought about her but recently i have been very scared and anxious that i might start liking her in the future. When i see her i usually think she's so pretty or her eyes are a really nice colour and suddenly in my head something tells me "that means you like her more than a friend," or, "she's pretty so there is a big chance you might like her more".

Is that hocd messing with my head or am i actually going to start liking her more than a friend?

-izzy143

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4 Responses »

  1. Asalamualaykum Izzy143,

    There are essentially two ways we can manage our fears. We can either go the route of doing what is most comfortable for us, which in your case might manifest as avoiding this girlfriend, or we can face our fears and learn the outcome through actual experience. No one way is the right way. I am just laying out your options. 🙂

    If you avoid this girl for fear that she might awaken some homosexual feelings (which you are not even certain exist in you), you might miss out on a great friendship. If you stay and become more intimate with this girl, as we inevitably do during the course of our friendships, you will either learn that no, you do not actually have any homosexual feelings as you feared, or you will learn that you do.

    My experience? I find a lot of my girlfriends to be beautiful. That does not equate with homosexual interest. It just says that I have an aesthetic radar and value both internal and external beauty. It is nothing to be ashamed of! Maybe you can relate?

    You can always pray a 2 rakah prayer to help you combat this fear and resolve this struggle. I promise Allah has the best answer. Or just make a sincere dua for guidance at the end of one of the obligatory prayers, for relief of this stress. Inshallah you will be relieved.

    Hugs,

    Nor

  2. Are you just thinking she's pretty or are you thinking about kissing or being intimate with her in some other way? Nothing wrong with thinking your friend is pretty but if your feelings extend to wanting to being intimate with her then you have an issue.

    With people of your age its not unusual to have these feelings and with most people these feeling disappear over time as long as you don't indulge in those feelings - meaning you don't start practising a homosexual lifestyle. If you do indulge in that lifestyle there will be little hope of coming back.

    If your feelings are telling you that you want to be intimate with your friends, the correct dua is: "Allah humma inna naj ahluka fiinuuhuurihim wa nauzubika min shuuruurihim". (Oh Allah I place you in front of them and I seek refuge in you from their evil). Google, "allah humma inna naj' and you will be able to listen to arabic recitation of the dua.

    This dua can be used for a lot of things, in your circumstances, you will be asking allah to remove your homosexual urges. You need to imagine your homosexual urges are disappearing as you recite the dua. The dua has to be recited a 1000 times over 31 days. Satan will do his best in stopping you from reciting the dua as if he can get you into that lifestyle, that will be all his work on you done in one single effort.

  3. Assalamalaykum

    Are you just thinking she's pretty or are you thinking about kissing or being intimate with her in some other way? Nothing wrong with thinking your friend is pretty but if your feelings extend to wanting to being intimate with her then you have an issue.

    With people of your age its not unusual to have these feelings and with most people these feeling disappear over time as long as you don't indulge in those feelings - meaning you don't start practising a homosexual lifestyle. If you do indulge in that lifestyle there will be little hope of coming back.

    If your feelings are telling you that you want to be intimate with your friends, the correct dua is: "Allah humma inna naj ahluka fiinuuhuurihim wa nauzubika min shuuruurihim". (Oh Allah I place you in front of them and I seek refuge in you from their evil). Google, "allah humma inna naj' and you will be able to listen to arabic recitation of the dua.

    This dua can be used for a lot of things, in your circumstances, you will be asking allah to remove your homosexual urges. You need to imagine your homosexual urges are disappearing as you recite the dua. The dua has to be recited a 1000 times over 31 days. Satan will do his best in stopping you from reciting the dua as if he can get you into that lifestyle, that will be all his work on you done in one single effort.

  4. Asalamualaikum, i am a 16 year old girl that is currently struggling with hocd (Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). Before i was questioning my sexuality but i know that i am straight...... we have been friends for over 2 yrs and i have never had a bad thought about her......... but recently i have been very scared and anxious that i might start liking her in the future. in my head something tells me "that means you like her more than a friend," or, "she's pretty so there is a big chance you might like her more".

    Are you attracted to boys? If you KNOW you are straight why are you struggling with HOCD . I think you should focus on present. You can't know what will happen in future. Your friendship may be over for some reason. You or your friend may become friends with a GUY. Don't be alone with your friend if you think she is more than a friend.

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