Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Stuck in a disruptive marriage and need Islamic advice

prayer dua marriage

Asalam alaykum.

I have been asking all over the internet for advice on my marriage for the last 10 years. I have been married for 18 years with 5 children but it has gone from bad to worse.

I have long story to tell and ask islamically if I am doing the right thing by staying in this marriage just for financial reasons and for the sake of keeping the family together...

I dont know if it is for the sake of the children as he has a horrible relationship with them,  mostly shouting and swearing at them and no islamic teachings. He chooses when to pay them any attention, when he feels like it.

I have a lot of hate towards my husband because of how he has disrespected me and humiliated me (too much has gone on to mention everything here) I cant stand him near me any more. The love has gone but i feel if i leave him i will suffer as a single mother of five children.

I appreciate any advice or if you can tell me who can help me.

JazakAllah Kheir

sister A

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3 Responses »

  1. Salam welcome to the world of devils.They love divorce broken marriages fighting all the bad stuff just to keep you busy from the remeberance of Allah.My sister there is many questions to be answered first!Do you and your husband pray 5 times a day Does he go to the mosque do you read quran.Quran purifies your home and keeps the shaitans away do you read a few hadiths everyday aswell with the family do you get involved with other sisters at mosque.If you are not doing this then whats your purpose of living in this world.I would right a note to him and tell how you feel because the next step is to leave him but give him a chance.Usually blk magic could be present or someother type of magic on both of you.If you are fighting and have money issues then this is a concern.The only way is to fullfill the commandments of Allah read quran and read daily manzil to get rid of any magic if you are still troubled by them cant sleep at night got pain etc.... remeber reading manzil daily you will go through a tough fight because shaitan doesnt like quran It burns him sooo be patient .They say the weapon of a believer is dua!!!If you feel that it is hard to overcome go and see a qari or scholor at mosque to give you some direction.He must be a sunni scholor and one who follows one of the 4 major school of thoughts.And if you decide to leave as the last resort because he cannot fulfill his obligations then make sure you have a plan. take up babysitting.nowadays both working parents need day care so think about that but dont forsake your deen. And put your kids in madressah full time there they will learn how to be a human being and gain the blessings of Allah!!

  2. Salaam sister,
    18 years with 5 children in an abusive marriage proves you are resilient and a person with strong Emaan. May Allah reward you for that. I would suggest to consider helping your husband get a medical assistance. There are so many husbands that suffer from mental health issue and get undiagnosed. They behave horribly and people do not notice on time. I would also suggest to get some knowledgeable people from his side and yours sit together and help address the underlying issues.

    IF you decide to stay with him and resort to Sabr, I am sure you will get your reward from Allah for the support you are giving to your children.

  3. As sister,
    I would not be able to quote any iyat or duas, but can sincerely say I know your pain because I have and still am suffering it.
    My so called husband has done all of the above and is always in mutah with several women. He had relationship s and affairs since we got married but I was unaware of it. There was physical and emotional abuse but I kept quiet and didn't tell anyone. I got pregnant ,he suffocated me when he found out, sadly I had miscarriage.
    My mother passed away and I got strength from somewhere to stop him from touching me. I was still scared but I informed the police. He told me that he has read my talak, but I have no documents to prove this. He must have verbally said "talak, talak, talak" at least 100 times.
    We are in separate rooms for 17 yr. So islamic advise given was, he is allowed to do what he wants but I can't move on as I'm not divorced???? Is this fair? Is this true? Is Islam so unfair to helplessness. .?
    I don't have the money to buy him out. He goes on holidays with his fancy women. . Is this right?
    I will never accept him in my life, and I don't think anyone can tell you what to do as you are suffering, not them!
    Sabre has limits. Do the right thing for you and your family.
    I am sad and feel your pain. May Allah guide you.

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