Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Can a sunni woman marry a shia man?

"]shia sunni unity

As for those who divide their religion and break up Into sects, thou hast no part in them in the least: Their affair is with Allah: He will in the end Tell them the truth Of all that they did. [Al-Qur'an 6:159

asak readers,

With all my respect, I would like that you give me a global view to see if this union between sunni and shia  is possible and what can be done to help them to marry.

There is a couple I know : sunni girl,  shia guy,  shia belongs to a zaidi family, sunni girl to sayed but sunni girl here is closer to me, so i would really be mentioning more of her in places so please do not ask me other questions of boy because i dont know the family personally.
They both are madly in love with each other, they seem to have discussed their mutual views on family and after marriage problem if any ...girls and boys parents both don´t agree for the marriage but they are still trying to work on it and marry only when their parents agree.  The boy is very loving and caring for the girl. I have seen it and he is very honest . since i know his daily routine and know his friends whom he´s always around where he lives etc, same for the girl. she is having same feelings for the guy yet she is not able to express more of her feelings because she feels it is not good before the actual marriage.
The guy has given her a ring to show his love n make her remember that he loves her alot and she accepted it as her future husband word, both are very close to each other.

They don´t do anything wich a normal husband wife do because it´s not yet permissible,  yet they are so impatient wich they know and are really working on it to be patient but still for their happiness they have gone so far, they want to marry but as you know the problems are there.  The boy told her she can practice whatever she likes as she does already and the girl has no issues personally irrespective what her family thinks for the guy .

She knows the guy so well that she has told me she doesn´t find much difference in herslef and him, the only thing that separates them is the way they pray and the imams beliefs but that guy told her that he only belivies because he´s been taught of it since childhood. He personally and mainly believes in ALLAH subhana wataalah and prophet P.B.U.H. and gives respect to all other companions and wives of his and also repects ali (raziaallau aanhu.)

servant of Allah

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17 Responses »

  1. As salamu alaykum, servant of Allah,

    Wael has given the following answer in this post.

    Sunni and Shiah are just words. They have no significance. What matters is belief. Faith and action are what define a Muslim. A Muslim is one who testifies that there is no God but Allah and that Muhammad is His Messenger; who prays, fasts Ramadan, pays Zakat and performs Hajj when able. A Muslim must also not do anything that contradicts the Shahadah. For example, if one declares himself to be a Muslim, but at the same time he believes that Allah appeared in the form of a man - several sects have such beliefs - then we cannot consider him Muslim, since such a belief is a violation of the Shahadah.

    So, our task is to follow the Quran, and follow the Prophet, and try to understand and practice the Quran in the way that it was understood and practiced by the Prophet and his companions. Most people summarize this as "Sunni", meaning we follow the Sunnah or way of the Prophet. But "Sunni" is just a word and if one does not like to use such a label, that's fine. I never use it to describe myself. I just say I am Muslim. But I am clear about the principles of my aqeedah or creed.

    "Shiah" is also just a word. It is short for "Shiat Ali", or party of Ali, because the Shiah came about as a group of Muslims who believed that Ali should have inherited the rulership of the Ummah immediately after the death of the Prophet (pbuh), and that the only legitimate leadership of the Ummah comes from Ali and his descendants.

    In an of itself, this is not a major difference, and there is no problem with marryng such people. In fact many of the differences between Sunni and Shiah are minor and most scholars sanction marriages between the two. This is particularly true for the Twelver Shiah or Zaydi Shiah.

    However, not all Shiah have the same beliefs. There are many subsects among them. If someone claims to have a different version of the Quran, or curses the Sahabah, or in extreme cases claims that the Prophethood should have gone to Ali, or that Ali is God incarnate (astaghfirullah), then such a person is not suitable for marriage to a Muslim. And yes, some among the Shiah do make such claims.

    So the label is not important. What is important is what one believes, and whether it is consistent with what Allah has revealed and commanded. If yes, ma-sha-Allah. If no, then stay away. Every person must be judged individually.

    In practical terms, judging each person's belief individually and analyzing his faith point by point can be quite difficult. It's probably easier just to avoid Sunni-Shiah marriages. But that's my personal opinion only.

    Wael Editor

    And if you have time and want to read a bit about the subject, I will add some posts about it,

    María Editor

  2. Bismillah,

    sister Maria Salaam Alaikum.

    May the peace and blessings of ALLAH (Swt) be upon you.
    May ALLAH (Swt) accept your fasting during this Holy Month of
    Ramadan Insha'Allah.
    Sister I myself I am a Shia Muslim.
    You posted

    "However, not all Shiah have the same beliefs. There are many subsects among them. If someone claims to have a different version of the Quran, or curses the Sahabah, or in extreme cases claims that the Prophethood should have gone to Ali, or that Ali is God incarnate (astaghfirullah), then such a person is not suitable for marriage to a Muslim. And yes, some among the Shiah do make such claims."

    Let me ensure you that NO SHIA MUSLIM believes in a different Qur'an. No Shia Muslim curses sahaba.
    No Shia Muslim believes that Prophethood belongs to Ali or that Ali is (ASTAGHFIRULLAH) God incarnate.
    There are however certain ill intentioned so called "Muslim" scholars who
    slander Shia Muslims. Who spread lies.
    As Shia Muslims its true that we believe that the true successor to the Holy Prophet (SAAW)
    is Imam Ali (pbuh), and that true guidance comes from the 12 Imams. ie descendants of the Holy
    Prophet starting from Bibi Fatima Zahra (pbuh).
    The hadith of Ghadeer Khum can be found in VARIOUS hadith books such
    as Sahih Bukhair and Sahih Muslim. Simply google it.
    However we also believe that Muslims carry differences in opinion.
    In Islam everything is done with intention.
    So if we intend to worship ALLAH (swt) Only then we are doing justice
    to ourselves.

    "a servant to ALLAH" Both Shias and Sunnis are Muslims and HAVE THE RIGHT
    TO MARRY. Whoever says otherwise does not believe in Muslim unity and if we continue
    to express this prejudice attitude towards Muslims with different schools of
    thought then our Ummah will NEVER succeed.
    The Holy Qur'an tells us that we are the BEST nation on earth as Muslims.
    Muslim countries don't really have any real industries.
    Alot of Islamic countries lack basic economic opportunities.
    This Shia Sunni issue has for so long caused such a division to the

    And any Muslim can marry any other Muslim. PERIOD !!!!

    Salaam alaikum.

    • Actually brother I believe I was the one who wrote the part that you quoted, not Maria. I thank you for your comments and I am sure you are sincere and well intentioned. However, I know for a fact that many of the Shi'ah curse some of the greatest Sahabah. It is quite common, even among the Shiah ulemaa. I am speaking particularly of Abu Bakr, Umar, Uthman, Aishah, (may Allah be pleased with them all), and all who followed Aisha in the Battle of the Camel.

      One of the leading scholars of the Shiah, al-Kashshi, reported that Abu Ja'far said: "The people (including the sahaba) all became apostates after the Prophet's death except for three." When asked who they were, he replied, "Al-Miqdad ibn Aswad, Abu Dharr, and Salman as mentioned in the verse, 'If he (Muhammad) dies or is killed, will you then turn on your heels.'" (Rijal al-Kashshi pp12-13).

      There is even a special dua for cursing Abu Bakr and Umar (RA), known as "Dua Sanamay Quraysh" (The two Idols of the Quraysh). It has been endorsed by many major Shiah Imams, including Imam Khomeini.

      I could cite many more evidences of this from Shiah texts, but I think it's not necessary.

      Also, Shiah translations of the Quran have replaced certain ayaat in an attempt to bolster the Imamate of Ali (RA), and have even inserted an entirely fabricated Surah, called Surah al-Walayah.

      And there are Shi'ah subsects (known among Ahlus-Sunnah as the Baatiniyyah) who do have some of the extreme beliefs that I mentioned. Perhaps you are not aware of all this, but it is true. It's also hard to know what some Shiah truly believe since they practice taqiyyah and will often not tell the truth about their beliefs.

      I do not condemn the Shiah wholesale as a people or a sect. However, it's important to know what a particular individual believes, before considering him/her for marriage.

      Wael Editor

      • Just one question

        As per Quran
        The wife of paharon aka Aswayia is refered to as a momina because she considered saving Musa from getting killed
        And paharon is regarded as kafir for his intention to kill Musa

        So tell Musa is on a lower rank compared to Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) so how can we call someone saint who had intended at a time to kill Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)

        We belive in Ali, who was born in Kabah
        Not someone who was 36 year old when Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) informed him its haram to drink alchol

        I am not a shia, i am a muslim who doesnt just listens to what my elders have taught me but who also studies history,
        I can disect your comment point by point and prove you are 100% wrong with everything you said.

        The 2nd caliph once told his son to ask Hussain to write on a paper that we are his servents.
        Yet clueless people like u go out of their way to make them equals

        Just like clueless people said Issah is a god and refused to listen to him when he said he is not a god.

        I am sure u will delete my comment but that would just prove to me how delusional and clueless you are.

        Have a nice life

  3. I dont know much about shias
    But what i know is they have a diffirent islamical approach than the sunnis

    Are shia 2 be considered as muslims?

  4. Usually I too would say there are difference of opinions from a historical perspective with the Shia, but they are definitely different in their belief as well.

    For instance, one concept that I could never appreciate about 12er Shiism is that of Muta'. In their main hadith book al-Kafi, they say that it is one of the 6 signs of a Mu'min. I feel like Muta' as an institution runs completely against Islam. The main difference between Muta' (something a Shi'i man you would marry could practice) and marriage is that of the contract for a period of time, with a dowry (as they too believe this is a requirement for marriage) for a temporary marriage (which in fact doesn't have to be written into nikah but can simply be verbal according to al-Hakim and Sistani). I don't see what the difference between Muta and prostitution is. I can pay a prostitute for sexual realtions for a night. And scholars like al Hakim actually say to do Muta' with a prostitute. I think it values all the sexual virtues like chastity of the Quran and run contradictory to Islam.

  5. Assalaamu alaikum

    Naturually,Wallahu A'lam,Allah Ta'aala knows best about the condition of everyones Imaan.

    You mention that he is a ZAIDI shiah: As far as my limited knowledge goes,zaidi shias believe in everything that Sunnis do(same aqeedah) except that they consider Ali (radiyallahu anhu) to have the highest status amongst the Sahaabah. They do not vilify the Imaams or believe in the 12 imaams concept. They do not believe Ali(radiyallahu anhu) is a prophet and they do not believe the ka'aba is a symbol of Ali radiyallahu anhu.I would advise you to speak to the family and find out their exact believes. Be careful with this,aswell,sister because it is a concept of the Shiah faith to conceal the truth. Tell her to research abit,not from internet,but from authentic Ulama. As far as Shi'ites is concerned,Idont think you can say across the board that they are all kaafir but there is a group that is those who believe the kaaba is a symbol of Ali (radiyallahu anhu),reject the quran,vilify the sahaabah etc)Then theres those who are somewhere inbetween,and then there are the zaidis.

    @Nawid, - Yes,YOU ARE RIGHT. No MUSLIM Shiah curses the sahaabah because once you curse any of the Sahaabah you are not a Muslim anymore. You believe that Ali (radiyallahu anhu) is the true succesor,in saying that,you are implying that Abu Bakr(radiyallahu anhu),Umar(radiyallahu anhu),Uthmaan (radiyallahu anhu) usurped his(radiyallahu anhus) right. I will remind you of the HAdith of Rasulullah (sawlallaahu alayhi wa sallam),something to the effect : If there had to be a Prophet after me,it would have been Umar.
    Yes,okay,u say you do not curse any sahaabah,but the question is 'who do you consider to be sahaabah?' ,What about Muaawiya(radiyallahu anhu)? Do you reject that many shias add after the name -(Allah forbid,Astaghfirullah al Adheem ) la'natullah? As far as the Qur'an is concerned,you mightsayt o us you do not have a different one,but what is your interpretation of it? what about surah abasa for example..Do you reject that you attribute it to Uthmaan (radiyallahu anhu)? andallah knows best about mine and your Imaan.

  6. Hi,


    Will you answer me ? the question is.....

    "Did any sahaabah abuse each other ever? if they did than are they muslims?"

    please reply me in cool mind...its not the means of shia or suni...........

    jazakallah khair

  7. salaam simple question..... can a sunni girl marry a shia guy????
    can a shia guy marry a sunni girl????

    • Simple,

      Read this thread and you will see that a pretty detailed discussion already attempts to answer your question.

      SisterZ Editor

  8. assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wa barakatuh

    Muslim gender( Male and Female) can marry with each other. May Allah Guide all mankind to understand the true teachings of Islam . Perfection need touch of knowledge . our target is to walk for the Aakhira and good deeds . Life is a journey not a destination O! traveller of the world your destination is the grave . be positive and Dynamic .


    Strive to discover the mystery
    before life is taken from you.
    If while living you fail to find yourself,
    to know yourself,
    how will you be able to understand
    the secret of your existence
    after you die?

    Concept of Unity

    Muhammad Mustafa Ashna Al Haqqani
    Purified Concept of spirituality and the solution for Humanity

    my dear brothers and sisters as a Muslim Anthropologist ans spiritual & Motivational speaker i advice in short .wallahi there is no differences between shia and sunni both are muslims , when Muhammad (SAW) left this world our problems raised , i love all muslims over the globe . Majority of muslims against the shia declaration of faith . Our good deeds makes us honor in the grave not bad deeds . Those who create barriers between Muslim Ummah very soon Allah will reveald His Punishment to that community (group of people). All the Muslims agree that Allah is One, Muhammad (PBUH) is His last Prophet, the Quran is His last Book for mankind, and that one day Allah will resurrect all human beings, and they will be questioned about their beliefs and actions.

    The Shia shahadah (declaration of faith) states:

    "There is no god but Alláh, Muhammad is the Messenger of Alláh, Alí is the Friend of Alláh. The Successor of the Messenger of Alláh And his first Caliph."

    Answer: Both Sunni and Shia Muslims share the most fundamental Islamic beliefs and articles of faith. The differences between these two main sub-groups within Islam initially stemmed not from spiritual differences, but political ones. Over the centuries, however, these political differences have spawned a number of varying practices and positions which have come to carry a spiritual significance.

    Origins - A Question of Leadership

    The division between Shia and Sunni dates back to the death of the Prophet Muhammad, and the question of who was to take over the leadership of the Muslim nation. Sunni Muslims agree with the position taken by many of the Prophet's companions, that the new leader should be elected from among those capable of the job. This is what was done, and the Prophet Muhammad's close friend and advisor, Abu Bakr, became the first Caliph of the Islamic nation. The word "Sunni" in Arabic comes from a word meaning "one who follows the traditions of the Prophet."
    On the other hand, some Muslims share the belief that leadership should have stayed within the Prophet's own family, among those specifically appointed by him, or among Imams appointed by God Himself.

    The Shia Muslims believe that following the Prophet Muhammad's death, leadership should have passed directly to his cousin/son-in-law, Ali bin Abu Talib. Throughout history, Shia Muslims have not recognized the authority of elected Muslim leaders, choosing instead to follow a line of Imams which they believe have been appointed by the Prophet Muhammad or God Himself. The word "Shia" in Arabic means a group or supportive party of people. The commonly-known term is shortened from the historical "Shia-t-Ali," or "the Party of Ali." They are also known as followers of "Ahl-al-Bayt" or "People of the Household" (of the Prophet).

    Differences in Religious Practice

    From this initial question of political leadership, some aspects of spiritual life have been affected and now differ between the two groups of Muslims.
    It is important to remember that despite these differences in opinion and practice, Shia and Sunni Muslims share the main articles of Islamic belief and are considered by most to be brethren in faith. In fact, most Muslims do not distinguish themselves by claiming membership in any particular group, but prefer to call themselves simply, "Muslims."

    Religious Leadership

    Shia Muslims believe that the Imam is sinless by nature, and that his authority is infallible as it comes directly from God. Therefore, Shia Muslims often venerate the Imams as saints and perform pilgrimages to their tombs and shrines in the hopes of divine intercession.
    Sunni Muslims counter that there is no basis in Islam for a hereditary privileged class of spiritual leaders, and certainly no basis for the veneration or intercession of saints. Sunni Muslims contend that leadership of the community is not a birthright, but a trust that is earned and which may be given or taken away by the people themselves.

    Religious Texts and Practices

    Shia Muslims also feel animosity towards some of the companions of the Prophet Muhammad, based on their positions and actions during the early years of discord about leadership in the community. Many of these companions (Abu Bakr, Umar ibn Al Khattab, Aisha, etc.) have narrated traditions about the Prophet's life and spiritual practice. Shia Muslims reject these traditions (hadith) and do not base any of their religious practices on the testimony of these individuals. This naturally gives rise to some differences in religious practice between the two groups. These differences touch all detailed aspects of religious life: prayer, fasting, pilgrimage, etc.

    (The Declaration of Faith)

    This Arabic phrase, shahada, also called kalima, is a simple statement; sincerely believing in the meanings of it and the faith behind it can change one's life for ever. It consists of two parts: first half is tawheed the unity and oneness of Allah. This fundamental concept of Islam is expressed by Allah himself in His book Qur'an: "He, Allah is one. Allah is He on Whom all depend. He begets not, nor is He begotten, And none is like Him."

    [The Holy Qur'an, Surah 112:1-4]

    The second part of kalima is risalah: the acceptance of Prophethood. Muslims accept that all Prophets were chosen by Allah to deliver His literal word, the basic message of His oneness to all nations, in their own languages, at different times. Adam was the first Prophet and Muhammad the final of all messengers to mankind. This belief is central to Islam.

    There are certain conditions of the shahadah, without which it is considered to be meaningless:

    Ilm: Knowledge of the meaning of the Shahadah, its negation and affirmation.
    Yaqeen: Certainty – perfect knowledge of it that counteracts suspicion and doubt.
    Ikhlaas: Sincerity which negates shirk.
    Sidq: Truthfulness that permits neither falsehood nor hypocrisy.
    Mahabbah: Love of the Shahadah and its meaning, and being happy with it and its requirements.
    Inqiad: Submission to its rightful requirements, which are the duties that must be performed with sincerity to Allah (alone) seeking only Allah's pleasure.
    Qubool: Acceptance that contradicts rejection.

    The True Islam is based on the Holy Qur'an and the Sunnah. Sunnah is an Arabic word which means the words and actions or examples of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).

    Six Articles of Belief

    -Tawheed: Monotheism (Oneness of Allah)
    -Prophethood and Messengership
    -Holy Books
    -The Final Judgement Day

    Five Pillars of Islam

    -Shahadah: Declaration of Faith
    -Salah: Prayer
    -Zakah: Charity, paying of alms and giving to the poor
    -Sawm: Fasting, obligatory during the Month of Ramadan
    -Hajj: Pilgrimage to Makkah

    The Last Messenger - Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)

    Prophet Muhammad was the last and final Messenger of Allah. No prophet shall come after Muhammad (peace be upon him)
    Allah chose Muhammad to reveal His Last Message to mankind - The Holy Qur'an - and gave Muhammad complete guidance for people of all the worlds. Muhammad (peace be upon him) received the Noble Qur'an from Allah through the Angel Jibril.

    Rightly Guided Caliphs

    -Abu Bakr Siddeeque
    -Umar ibn al-Khattab
    -Uthman ibn Affan
    -Ali ibn Abi Talib

    Islamic Laws (Shari'ah)

    The Laws based purely on the Holy Qur'an and Sunnah of the Prophet, as embodied in the Hadith, as a source of the Shari'ah.

    Allah says in the Holy Quran: The Messenger (Muhammad) believes in what has been revealed to him by his Lord, and so do the believers. They believe in Allah, His Angels, His Books, and His Messengers. They say: "We make no distinction between Allah's Messengers." And they say: "We hear and obey. Grant us Your forgiveness, Lord; to You shall all return."

    [The Holy Qur'an, Surah 2:285]

  9. Hello! I'm here with my views plus some questions which I would like to ask from you all
    Well honestly I'm Sunni but me and my entire family does not believe in such sectarian differences and just call our selves as a Muslim not Sunni .because we believe that every one is a Muslim unless he or she has iman n believes on what Quran says
    I don't know much about them but what I KNow is the major root of this differences is our different beliefs on H.Abu Bakr (RA) n H.Ali (RA) as the first caliph
    After reading a Hadis shared by some related to the successor as hazrat ali I was curious to know and ask the proof in Sunnis which would rather convince me about this Hadis and its authencity
    Apart of these in actual life and in this modern generation many not go deep in these and just perform the major practives in their daily lives non (much) goes into this no one is like a complete QAtar
    Secondly my exact question is that do believing in different successors in such^ effects us I mean I haven't see any one before or after marriage, talked about caliphs yeah His martyrdom was heart broking and cryfull one for which Muharram is. Sunnis also respect him thus kind a make Muharram on it but not exactly hitting which not common now a days in Shias too. Did H.ALi even said that he is upset in this unfair decision. If he doesn't so why muslims are fighting
    Truly successors in caliphate are chosen according to their acts and...... Not according to their relations (relatives) ,it's khilafat not a badshahat in uk (for example)
    If ones have clear views and pure understanding to Islam anything can be jiaz in between them. In my family my khala has married to a shiah and she is happily living with her kids with same concept like ours. Then!!!
    And Allah hafiz

    • Muniba, you're kind of missing the point. The original schism was over the succession of the khilafah, that's true. However, the problem today is that the two groups have completely different bodies of Islamic law, and different understandings of Islam.

      When the Shiah rejected the first three khulafaa, they also rejected and cursed anyone who supported them. They consider all such supporters to be apostates or kuffar. In fact the Shiah reject the Sahabah en masse and only respect a few of them.

      So the Shiah do not accept any hadith narrated by a supporter of the first three khulafaa. This means they reject the majority of the hadith, since most of them are narrated by sahabah like Aishah, ibn 'Umar, Abu Hurayrah and others.

      The result is that the Shiah have no Sunnah. While Sunnis follow the Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet (sws) as it was narrated through authentic hadith, the Shiah follow the Quran and their Imams, i.e. the descendants of Ali (RA). Their laws and traditions are dictated by their Imams.

      Shiah faith is founded on deep emotionalism and guilt over the murders of Ali, Hassan and Hussain (may Allah be pleased with them). This emotionalism affects their entire worldview. They view Sunnis with simmering suspicion and resentment, and in my experience they hold no feelings of brotherhood or respect toward Sunnis.

      Unfortunately there are Sunnis who hate Shiah just as much, and the result is continuing violence that is tearing the Muslim world apart. This is unacceptable. No matter how far apart Sunni and Shiah are in faith and temperament, they must learn to live with each other peacefully.

      Wael Editor

  10. salam,

    My dear fellow brother and sisters. I belong to Ahl-e-Hadis sect. But I preferred to be called a MUSLIM. I was in a relation with a Shia girl. She was my first crush, a good friend and she always stand behind me whenever I need her. It was about a 3 year relation (a very respectful relation). We also start dating , messaging on mobile, phone calls, I almost got permission to marry her. Her parents were also agreed.

    A friend of mine told me that the girl I'm going to marry is Shia. It was my stupidity that I fell in love with her without knowing her sect, cast etc.

    I was confused and got scared. And thousand questions rose in my mind such as whether my family accept her ? People around me will make my life a living hell etc....

    I respect Shia believes but they are so much different from our believes. They don't believe in Quran is accurate, they use bad language about the three Caliphs etc i just don't want to go deep.

    I didn't tell my parents that the girl is Shia. I though a lot that what should I do ? Some muftis told that the Nikkah b/w shia and Ahlehadis is Haram. Some told me that Its OK to marry but what about your future generation? Which sect do they follow ? Don't make your life a living hell.

    So I came to the solution , I break the relation with that girl. Change my mobile number. deactivate my facebook etc. I just told her that I can't marry her because I want to settle myself in foreign country and i can't marry her because it will increase the pressure of responsibilities on me.

    The last thing I remembered is the mail from her " Why are you doing this to me ?"

    Its about 2 months. She tried to contact me through friends etc. I never respond her. It doesn't mean that I hate her ... I love her a lot and still love her like crazy but I can't make her life miserable.

    I want her to be happy. And I know I will never find such an awesome girl like her for me.
    I don't want to force her to change her beliefs for me and also I can't change my beliefs for her.

    With me she can't live a happy life 🙁

    It hurts a lot but I think its good for both of us.

  11. I have the same situation :'(

  12. I Am AlsO Having The Same situation . Can Anyone Answer Me Or Is there Anyone who Can Talk To Me In This Issue?

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