Swearing falsely on Quran to save your marriage?
Salaam everybody,
I want an answer. I love my husband dearly and want him badly. My marriage is on the verge of a divorce. Before my marriage I used to like a man to whom I was not able to get married. I really loved him, but because of the sectarian differences we did not get married. My husband lives abroad and after my nikkah the boy came back to me again and begged me to come to him and break my nikkah.
For few months I was laid back by shaitan and decided to break my nikkah, and kept illegitimate relations with him. But then I got closer to ALLAH and realized whatever I was doing was wrong and made taubah to him. I really love my husband today, and don't want to lose him. But that boy recently sent some pictures of mine to my husband on which my husband wants to give me divorce.
I told him it was all my past all before my Nikkah which in fact is not true. I went to that guy after my Nikkah. I repented to Allah for my sins , and I repent daily. I cry and seek forgiveness. My husband wants me to swear upon Quran that all these pics are of my past and not after nikkah. I am afraid of taking a false oath, but my intention is to save my marriage and not to lose my husband.
I have changed a lot. I observe hijab, pray five times and read Quran. I don't want to lose my husband; I want to be with him. Can I swear upon Quran with the intention of saving my marriage? I love him now - just him- I will never deceive him. Only this oath can save my marriage, and save me from talaaq. Please help me, and please reply quickly as I have no time left.
waiting for your response,
-qurat
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Sister I don't know the ruling of swearing by the Quran and if that is islamically permissible, maybe someone else can provide that. I would tell him I am not comfortable swearing by the Quran as this is not a practice that the prophet promoted....as the Quran was not compiled at his time...so I would just avoid it.
But don't lie, I would say that you made tauba long back, I would tell him a general...." It was in the past, i am ashamed of it, I regret it and I have changed" . If you made tauba, your sin is between you and Allah, you can give him a vague answer and pray that he slowly regains trust in you again.
https://www.islamqa.info/en/158723 ...info on swearing by Quran.
AsSalamu Alaikum Sister,
I think you should just say the truth, and then trust in Allah. Whatever happens is your own earns (peharps, he may forgive you for two things, 1- for saying the truth, and 2- for making a sincere tawbah).
It may also be a test from Allah when you get divorced - may Allah forbid it - to see whether you will still chase that man or not (and this will indicate the truth about your Tawbah).
If you did what you did in the past before marriage,that is a different thing. However, If he is willing to forgive you if it was your past, then maybe he could be able to forgive you when you say the truth and have sincerely repented (Allah knows best)
May Allah help you!!!
Though, I can agree with Sister Samira
"You can give him a vague answer and pray that he slowly regains trust in you again."
ASSALAMALAIKUM
THE ONLY PERMISSION IN ISLAM ABOUT SWEARING -IS TO BE DONE ON THE NAME OF ALLAH NOT ON THE QURAN-
SECONDLY THE LIES WILL LEAD TO DIVORCE LATER AND THAT TIME YOU WILL NOT BE SINGLE U MAY HAVE CHILDREN AND FINALLY YOU WILL SUFFER MORE AND LIES LAND U IN MORE TROUBLE-
HE HAS SENT THE PHOTOS AND HE WILL TESIFY THAT THEY ARE AFTER NIKAH WHAT WILL YOU DO
IT IS USELESS TO SAVE YR NIKAH -
AND YOU HAVE ACHIVED MORE IN REPENTENACE BY COMING CLOSE TO ALLAH AND NOW YOU MAY GET SOME RELIGIOUS HUSBAND
IT IS BETTER MARRY SOMEONE ELSE LATER THAN DECIEVING YR HUSBAND BY TELLING THE LIES-
HOPE YOU WILL UNDERSTAND-THAT THE DOUBT IN HIS MIND HAS BEEN ESTABLISHED AND NOW YOU CANT TAKE IT OUT-AND EVEN MORE DOUBTS WILL ADD HE MIGHT THINK AFTER NIKAH YOU HAD ONE LOVER AND BEFORE NIKAH MANY MORE IN THE PAST-
REGARDS
From what I have heard it is haraam and totally unlawful to swear on the Quran falsely. Now someone with better Islamic knowledge and ilm may be able to explain this better. I was brought under the impression never to brin gt the Quran in small things and lie. PLZ be careful
Assalaamualaikam
Sister, if you truly love this man, does he not deserve to know the truth rather than be told a lie? From the sounds of things, this other guy may not be the kind who deals well with rejection - even if you deceive your husband on this occasion, there may be others in the future... If you deceive him now, it may be hard to sustain that in the long-term. Plus, if you have had sexual contact with another man, your husband may wish to get screened for sexually transmitted infections (and it would be a good idea for you to do the same).
You say that you were laid back by Shaitan, but ultimately the choice to act was your own - in the Quran it states on several occasions that the accountability for our actions rests with us, and although Shaitan can whisper to us, he cannot compel us to act against our own will. As part of healing from this, take ownership of your actions, repent, and seek to avoid repetition by addressing the issues that contributed to you acting in this way.
Yes, telling the truth may lead to the breakdown of your relationship, but so will a lie... Lies poison our relationships and weigh heavy on our hearts. At least with the truth you could try to re-build trust and move forward in life with a clear conscience.
May Allah's mercy touch both of your hearts and help you and your husband.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
Do not take false Oaths:
And do not make [your oath by] Allah an excuse against being righteous and fearing Allah and making peace among people. And Allah is Hearing and Knowing.( Al-Baqarah, 2:224)
Allah will not impose blame upon you for what is meaningless in your oaths, but He will impose blame upon you for [breaking] what you intended of oaths. So its expiation is the feeding of ten needy people from the average of that which you feed your [own] families or clothing them or the freeing of a slave. But whoever cannot find [or afford it] - then a fast of three days [is required]. That is the expiation for oaths when you have sworn. But guard your oaths. Thus does Allah make clear to you His verses that you may be grateful (Al-Ma'idah, 5:89)
I would also like you to read this article before taking up such a step:
http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/punishment-for-my-deeds/
AsSalaamu Alaikum,
As for swearing by the Holy Quran, scholars have differed in the matter.
Allamah Sheikh Abd al-Aziz ibn Baz (r.a), is one of those who said swearing by the Holy Quran (like to say, "I swear by the Quran") is permissable.
Allamah Sheikh Salih ibn Fauzan (h.a), is one of those who said swearing by the Holy Quran is not permissable at all.
However, if one combines both opinions, it appears that saying, "I swear by the Lord of the Quran" is better.
Allah knows best
Issah:
"...it appears that saying, "I swear by the Lord of the Quran" is better."
Why??
Cikgu, because in Islam we do not swear by anyone or anything except Allah, since only Allah has power to help or to harm. The "Lord of the Quran" is Allah.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Sister,
I would suggest that you be honest with your husband, tell him that you have repented (which you have), and let the chips fall where they must. I agree with a poster above that one deception may lead again to another, and the boy obviously cannot handle rejection well. You don't know what more "evidence" this boy might have, so coming clean with your husband is the best avenue to follow in my opinion. Will your husband have a right to divorce you? Yes. But perhaps Allah's mercy will intervene.
I'm curious however as to what the boy hoped to accomplish. By exposing your sins to your husband, he exposed his own by his own hand. So now, not only are you aware of the sins the boy committed with you, but your husband is aware of them as well. By trying to destroy your reputation/marriage, the boy has essentially destroyed his own reputation/marriage prospects as well. He deliberately put his own sin out there, and it may very well come back to smack him in the face. The boy strikes me as immature, vengeful, impulsive, and lacking in foresight as to his own transgressions. It is best you got away from him and I am sorry that you now have to deal with your own impulsive actions. It is best to face the truth of our actions (once exposed) than to retreat behind false oaths.
Salaamu Alaykum,
To start with, there is the need to appreciate the fact that having relationship with someone after your marriage is a dual-fold sin. First against your creator and second against your husband. To the best of my understanding no scholar will tell you that seeking forgiveness from Allah alone and hiding it out from the husband suffices. Your husband needs to forgive you for betraying his amanah.
Swearing falsely is not even an option under this circumstance. You have to face the truth and place your trust in Allah (azza wa jal). May Allah protect us all from such an unfortunate scenario.
Salam Alaykum brother. Ellhamdullillah there is finally an answer that is the true Islamic path. I can not believe the amount of comments encouraging a woman who has finally chosen the true path of islam (semi from what I see) to encourage her to twist words and etc. May Allah swt protect us all from being in her situation. Please brothers and sisters, if you have not read the Holly Quran as of yet and do not understand the punishment of zina and lying and encouraging more lying then do not act as advisors of Islam. My sincere apologies troubled sister... but as a Muslima...where is your purity and shame? You first commit sin after sin then you go online looking for fans or cheerleaders? am not sure what the whole purpose of this blog question is. Obviously you have not accepted Islam to the fullest because you would understand that a woman looks for guidance and the right path ( after the guidance of Allah) from his companion not strangers online and bringing your laundry for all of us to discuss.
First of all, we do not swear on the Quran. We only swear by Allah.
Secondly, it is a grave sin to swear to a lie. You would only be compounding one sin with another.
You committed one of the most serious of sins. It may well be that in telling the truth you will lose your marriage. That may be the price you have to pay for repentance from your sin.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
You committed one of the most serious of sins. It may well be that in telling the truth you will lose your marriage. That may be the price you have to pay for repentance from your sin.
Indeed we cannot get away with everything!
Sister,
Don't make a false oath in Allah's name. In every situation honesty is the best policy. Just tell him the truth without going into too much detail. Just cry your heart out and let him know how sorry you are and that you have repented. Also as assurance you can instead swear by Allah that you will never see this guy again!
Just keep pleading for his forgiveness and pray to Allah that he forgives you.
May Allah soften your husbands heart.
Assalam alaikum sister,
I believe others will be able to give you better information regarding taking oaths.
Sister, you wrote:
All I will say is that you are still stuck thinking about what you want. You wanted to marry someone else. You wanted to have an affair. Now you want to save your marriage. I would suggest that you should transform what you want into: Wanting to make Allah happy. Your husband deserves to have his say--and as bitter as it may be--say the truth, prepare yourself. Stop thinking about yourself, and rather think about telling the truth and leaving the rest to Allah. Spend your time asking Allah for forgiveness. Ask your husband for forgiveness. Perhaps tell him what you want and ask him if he wants to separate while taking the time to think. I would perhaps leave this open to him because whatever has happened is unfair to him.
I pray to Allah to forgive you and guide you. I pray that Allah find the best solution for you and your husband. Ameen.
Waalaykum salam Sister,
Since your husband has seen some evidence, he will probably figure out the truth eventually. If he does leave you, then I do not blame him because living with someone who cheated is a very difficult thing to do. Continue repenting and increasing in good actions. I cannot tell you to lie or deceive him because that is unjust and wrong, you will just have to deal with the consequences of your actions.
Allah knows best.
Hello Sister,
Its very sad to hear that you could not control your desires, even after you were married.
I believe you should be punished for what you have done to a man who trusted you.
Tell him the truth, like brother Wael says, if the marriage is to end, so be it.
You need to be paid in full for betraying your husband, and of course, if you have had sex with your ex, you already know the punishment for your crime.
Hope that helps.
sslamalaikum VERY SURPRISING YOU WANT TO DECIEVE ONCE MORE AND THAT IS TORTURE OF THE 2ND PHASE-
Can I swear upon Quran with the intention of saving my marriage? I love him now- just him- I will never deceive him. Only this oath can save my marriage, and save me from talaaq...................
DIDNT SEE THIS IN MY REPLY????????????????
SECONDLY THE LIES WILL LEAD TO DIVORCE LATER AND THAT TIME YOU WILL NOT BE SINGLE U MAY HAVE CHILDREN AND FINALLY YOU WILL SUFFER MORE AND LIES LAND U IN MORE TROUBLE-
YR LOVE IS NOT LOVE ITS INFATUATION SHIFTED TO YR HUSBAND FROM BOYFREIND WHEN THE MATTER BECAME OPEN-
SORRY PLEASE DROP YR IDEA OF STAB AFTER STAB IN THE BACK OF THE POOR GUY-
AS WAEL SAID TELL THE TRUTH-BE READY FOR TALAQ AND FORGIVENES WHICH EVER ALLAH GIVES ACCEPT HUMBLY WIHTOUT FURTHER CUNNINGNESS AND SELFISHNESS-
REGARDS
Salam
tell him the truth or he will find it out in hereafter. Then you will have to face your husband and get the punishment you deserve. So be true...if this means divorce. We are muslims and marriage is very very important for us. Being honest is even much more important. Tell him everthing and search for someone else which can make you happy. You are telling us that you love your husband but when he's abroad then you think about other men. Sorry Sister...don't make us laught.. But LOVE means for me that if my wife is away 99 Years (of course she tells me and I agree) then I will not look at other women (lower my gaze) or think about someone else. By swearing on the quran falsly you will be cursed by God and your marriage will break up too in the end.
And of course you must ask your husband to forgive you because you have attacked his rights by secretly being unfaithful to him. If you dont ask for forgiveness then he will take your good deeds in hereafter and you absorb his bad deed. The same for your ex-lover. He has also violated the right of your husband because he was probably talking with you and thats zina with mouth. And he will have to ask for forgiveness too from your husband. Because in hereafter everybody will know everthing and if you are wronged by someone because he talked bad about you or your wife sleept with someone else even you didn't know that it happened you get your rights. Therefore repentance from God is not enough but of course IMPORTANT.
Dont cheat or lie him
Consider yourself blessed that he refused to marry you. This guy is sinful, deceitful and he tried to blackmail you? Is that really who you want to share your life with? End your relationship with him, make tawbah for your own serious sins, and find someone better Insha'Allah.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Swearing
http://islamqa.info/en/158723
Ask a shakia in the mosque. It is haraam to lie of course . And it is hard to lose the person you love . . ... ask Allah pray the two rakan the istark and see what you see in your dream .
I hope sister everything works out good for you .
I hope you stay with your husband .
I did something twice bad in the past unto my wife, she slightly caught me of acts which she was not really sure but I knew I did what she thought, but for her not to put in mind and started looking me as the habit doer for life, she asked me to hold the Quran and swear that I didn't do it, I sworn and give a curse tp myself with the holy quran that I didn't do it but I did, pls my Muslim brothers in the house ... Am I going to be forgiven by Allah
Make tawbah to Allah, and do not repeat the bad act that you did. Put the past behind you, keep making istighfar, and do better in the future Insha'Allah.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I am in very trouble please help me i have a phiance but we engaged on some rules that he study further and established than we marry but he is always like a jail for me and we had also spend a memorable moments together but know i don't wanna marry him and these things are secret but know he tells every thing to every body and i m very very ashamed for this and he is being ruined me
Like ..... Can't explain but now he said took oath on Quran and said that you never like me never gone out with me etc and if i took oath or swear falsly on Quran what will be kaffara because if i spoke truth i can't face anyone and i will commit suicide so please any one tell me the kaffara if i falsely took oath
I don't know please. 🙁
You husband should check the metadata on the pictures which will prove the date they were taken. Then he can divorce you. He should forgive you, but forgiveness is not forgetting no man should ever forget that. I guarantee him, if he was to overlook this you would have no respect for him whatsoever and there is no relationship without respect. Pardon the pun, you make your bed and you lie in it.