Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Taking back an oath

Asslamu alaykum

I had a relationship with a man (I know haram) and he ended things and I was heart broken. We talked marriage and he said he was interested in me still but at this time he's not ready. I was angry and hurt and after many arguments trying to convince him to work it out and him telling me I should move on if I can't wait for him. i said "wallah i won't give a second chance". Is this binding? In the heat of anger I said it but after thinking I realized how serious it is to swear by Allah. I know the expiation but should he come back to propose and do things right, am I obligated to decline his proposal? And if I accept and do the expiation will my marriage be cursed/invalid? I am so worried now.

BintElSham

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1 Responses »

  1. Asslaamualaykum BintElSham,

    I hope you are ok.

    From your post, it seems you're in that stage where you're engaged in a bit of "wishful thinking" and denial of what the brother has outright expressed to you...that he is not ready for marriage. It is he who ended things, after all. If he does come back and propose, may Allah forgive you for your "swear." But know that you are demonstrating very open boundaries when you swear that you won't do something and then turn around and do it!...once someone knows that you're "word" is flexible like that, they will tend not to trust it as much in the future, so I would suggest that you try to avoid swearing!

    You can pray to Allah and talk to Him about this.

    Hugs,

    Nor

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