Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Talking to fiance

What can and can't be said?

What can and can't be said?

Asslam o alaikum.
I’m too much confused. I’m talking to my fiance for 4 months. We only talk about our daily routine and our like and dislikes. But from past few days he is saying that he loves me. And i say yes.
But I’m not comfortable after this. We don’t take in wrong way. We communicate via phone.
I want to know what is haram and halal talk.
I’m too much confused.
Kindly guide me in light of islam.
I don’t know it is right or wrong.
I’m talking to him with the permission of both families.
Please guide me.
He is asking me what i feel about him. How much i love him.
I want to know is it right or wrong.
Because i thought it is wrong.

aisha

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4 Responses »

  1. No .islamically it is not allowed even if families agrees ...only after nikah you can have romantic n regular routine talks

  2. Its strange how someone could advise you to only talk to someone after you've married that person.

    You absolutely have to talk and get to know the person well enough to avoid surprises after marriage.

    It is better to meet personally and talk atleast once every week with the presence of your family member with you. If that's not possible then Skype with someone present.

    • She is telling abt private conversation which is not allowed ..most of people start talking even had sex n then boy dump her ..so many cases in the same site

  3. Walaikum Salaam warahmatillah wabarikahtu sister,

    Love, true islamic love, begins after marriage. Please know this sister. I have been engaged to my fiancé for a year now due to situations out of my control (fiancé visa, etc.) but due to our long distance relationship we have no choice but to speak on the phone. However, I want to be clear that 1.) After formalities like asking how they are, their family, etc, speak to them concerning their viewpoints on topics in marriage and deen only, and be very attentive to their answers as it will show their character. Do you both know your rights as a wife or husband in islam? What are your opinions on children, education, working, wealth, ideas of entertainment, etc??? 2.) It's one thing to appreciate them and speak open about how you agree on their viewpoints/beliefs, but it is something completely different when the concept of "love" comes into play.

    In Islam, there actually isn't such a thing as engagement. Once you accept that person (with respect to their deen, character, and looks, etc) you should strive to get married as quickly as possible with the support of both families. That is to protect and keep both of you pure, because as I hope you know, marriage is a beautiful part of a person's life by making you complete half your deen.

    I'm sincerely worried for you sister: I pray that Allah protects you from yourself, shaytan, and this boy regarding this marriage. My advice to you is truly reflect and educate yourself on Islamic marriage and be wary of this boy, because there's a reason why there are 2 surahs on women and none specifically for men: guys are generally less virtuous and pure minded when it comes to marriage, and girls are too trusting and naive when it comes to a boys intention... It always breaks my heart to hear of our Muslim youth, particularly sisters, lose their virginity and purity on some nasty, manipulative, shamelessly satanic boy.

    You are worth more my dear sis. Don't destroy your life by entertaining sweet nothing's from your fiance. If he doesn't desist and claims it his right to love you or whatever, break this engagement off and PLEASE ALWAYS COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR PARENTS! No one will ever love you unconditionally like them. So long story short, remember Allah and while it's OK to speak with your fiance in front of your family, only discuss those things that are islamic in nature...which in the case of "love" comes only after marriage. And do not unnecessarily speak to him on the phone. If you must, speak once every two weeks or so (like I must) to remain ties until Allah makes it easy for you to marry.

    As-salamualaikum,
    - your Brother in Islam Ibrahim

    Please pray for me and my fiance too, as we are just waiting for Allah right now!

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