Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Temptations; Is there a halal way for us to be together without me commiting sin?

Love for Allah's sake

Assalamu Alaykum.

I am 16 years old Muslim living in the west were mixing is unavoidable and is experienced everyday, I don't usually find the women in Western country attractive or tempting due to their lack of of Modesty. But recently there's this specific Girl I fell in love with and  once made it very clear for her that i was interested, I would talk to her, find any excuse for contact, and once I swear I was so close to asking her out, but this was before, now i am much closer to Allah, I still Love her though, more then ever, however I read that I should avoid her and I take extra caution to keep my gaze down but when I go home, i feel empty inside. But then I remember I'm doing this for Allah only.

Now to make matters worse, I have taken a recent interest in Weight Lifting, and even though it distracts me from her, and relieves stress, Ive notice my Libido Increase by so much. Therefore making it increasingly harder to guard my chastity. I really have no idea what to do, I know I can go and ask her on a date and I know she'll say yes some, But I restrain my self.

Here is another problem, it seems as if i have competition, when I glance around the room I notice a boy trying to flirt with the Girl I love so much and it is so hard just to sit there and watch, painful in fact, , nonetheless I manage, for I fear the wrath of Allah. Just to remind you i was never this religiously committed, even though i would pray 5 times a day before, there was no feeling in my heart, but now I have improved my Imam, I read the Qur'an much much more, (i read 1 Juz everyday), and I always remember Allah. I am also currently trying to learn the whole Qur'an.

I don't know what to do, I am in conflict here, but Alhamdulilah my fear of ALLAH increases more everyday then my love for this girl. I am in the middle of my studies, my parents and teachers expect such high expectations of me, considering I'm one of the few smartest in my School it all feels like too much.

I pray to Allah that he will arrange and find a way for our destiny to cross I've never loved a Girl like this before. everyday it feels like I'm moving further from her, and someone else is moving closer, I wake up 3am sometimes just to make Dua, this is my only hope, Because now I've truly understood that the only Halal way to reach her is with ALLAH's Help, so will ALLAH except my Dua in situations like these, or am I simply wasting time?

Faithful Believer99.

Tagged as: , , ,

3 Responses »

  1. Salaams,

    There are a few things I would like to say in regards to your situation. For one, you never mentioned if this girl was a Muslim or not. You did say that you live in the west, and apparently you are in a school (?) setting with non Muslim girls. If this girl is not even Muslim, I would be willing to bet you're wasting your time altogether.

    Second thing is that there is no "dating" in Islam. Even if she were a Muslimah, you don't ask a sister out, take her out, or go on a date. It's inappropriate for men and women of all ages to do such things.

    Another thing I would like to point out is that you are at an age where your libido is going to be rather high no matter what you do. Weight lifting or not, love or not, this is a struggle you are just beginning to get a taste of and is not going to go away any time soon. That's what makes it especially important that your focus remain on your ibadah and Allah, because the forces against you will make temptation too great to resist otherwise.

    Finally, you have to remember the fact that you are quite young. Marriage is most likely simply not an option for you, but in reality marriage is the only solution to the type of dilemma you are in. Since you can't really marry at your age, and have to keep your focus on other things, I suggest you change your duas from requests to Allah asking to bring you two together or have your paths cross, to duas asking Allah to give you strength in your intentions and abilities to focus on your studies and finishing school without these type of distractions.

    -Amy Editor

  2. brother

    you are staying away from her because of Allah for Allah you are doing this so just go on loving and worshipping Allah Subhanatallah ...beacause for sure he might have prepared sumthing better for you .. please dunt listen to satans whisper later when you regret you will be juzz alone even this satan wont be there to wipe your tears please stop thinking of her by studing about Islam ,Allah , Rasuul SAW about quran surely Allah will give you a better girl than this female In Shaa Allah

  3. evrything will turn out alright inshaAllah as long as ur faith in Allah(S.W.A) stays strong. and sheesh ur so young ur life has hardly started yet dont fret too much about other boys looking at th girl...thats just life. remain steadfast in Allah(S.W.A) and remember there is always a bigger plan even if we cant see it. for example sometimes we yearn for something that just might harm and cripple us if we got it. or we do get it and its good for us. so pray for the best for u and the worst remain far from u and inshaAllah only th best of everything will come ur way whether u see it that way at th time or not. and if u dont in time u will inshaAllah.

Leave a Response