Islamic marriage advice and family advice

The intimate part of my marriage is terrible

My husband and I have been married for nearly 4 year's. We are very, very, happy together. However, our intimate sexual life together is horrible. I was raised in America, he in Jordan. I am a revert to Islam, he was raised muslim. He was a virgin when we married, I had been married previously.

He REFUSES to touch me in a sexual way, other than to have intercourse. He does not understand the importance of foreplay. It's just straight to intercourse. So of course the act is painful for me. And leaves me very unsatisfied and cold.

This has been going on for 3 year's. He simply refuses to touch my private area with his hands. Make's me feel like I'm dirty or something.

Other than this big problem in our marriage, we are very happy together. When I do try to bring up the difficulties in this area of our marriage, he get's angry .So, I dont say anything for long periods of time. I love my husband with all of my heart, and want very much for us to be satisfied in this area of our marriage.

Is it sin in Islam, to touch your wife on her private's? He seem's to believe this to be the case. Please help. I dont know how much more of this coldness in the bedroom that I can take.



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4 Responses »

  1. I want you to be patient and know that after every hardship comes peace. Thare are some times in life that we are force to experience hardship. Allah(SWT) told us in the noble Quran That He is Going to put us in trial concerning our wealth, life, properties etc but he gives glad tidings to the sabireen(those who are patient). Who whenever a calamity befalls them say We are from Allah(SWT) and unto Him we shall surely return.
    The noble Messenger of Allah told the believers whenever they are about to how inntercourse with their wives should send a messenger the companions ask what that messenger is the prophet told them it is beautiful words and kissing.
    Let your husband know in a polite manner that it is his duty to satisfy you otherwise he is forcing satan onto which can lead to illigal sexual intercourse God forbid.I am not not saying you are having that in mind but prevention is better than cure and also the prophet told us that satan runs in our body like how the blood runs in our system
    Last but not the lease is that dont forget praying to Allah(SWT) because He said to the prophet If they ask you concerning me tell them am near to them and will answer the prayers of them.
    I wish you are very successful marriage and see to it that all your proplems are solve.
    Stay Bless and bear in mind that The end results(jannah) is for the pious(Quran).

  2. I think you need to increase your knowledge of Islamic teachings on sex, so you can teach your husband what your rights are. He is denying you your rights.

  3. Dear Sister,

    As salam alalikum

    There is stress in Islam regarding foreplay. I think your husband is having misunderstanding regarding it. If you could tell him that it allowed in Islam then he may cooperate. Just do some research on it and you may get some material on it. From my search I found the following link. .
    Hope this helps.
    Do dua and inshalla, Allah will help you. Ameen.

  4. I don't know that you should do it or not. but i will write it any way. that as you have told us this problem you should tell this problem to any of your husband's friend's wife who can help you and you think she is your friend also if your husband have not friend then ask him direct that he should ask detail about sex in Islam from a religion person.
    I am sorry if my advice is not good.

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