Islamic marriage advice and family advice

The world is changing or just me??

mercy forgiveness repentance tawbah

Asamualikum everyone!

I'm here 'cause m trying to examine few things that are getting on in my life lately.I choose not to expand on to the details because it will become to lengthy to read ,so I'd summarize it as - I began my salah (5 times) roughly about 5 years ago not because I suddenly reverted to islam but because I was a born muslim(prayed with any good or bad intention) and 'cause of family pressure so on and so forth.About 13 months ago I missed my university examination(due to silly reasons) and like every other ignorant person I had to blame it on someone so I blamed it on Allah and accused Allah for not helping me. Than I gave up on salah, thought as though its not benefiting me in any ways so to waste time. And I continued doing that for about 4 months then just before 2months of re examination I again started my prayers so that I could impress Allah and get into a desired university. This time I didn't missed the exam but failed by 2% then I thought I've to step my game up .All this time I was just fooling myself and I thought by being more religious I will achieve whatever I wish for. So I went to my mother and told her can you get a an Arabic teacher I wanna learn Arabic. she got me one and first three days were normal and as expected hell boring but on forth day my teacher told my summery of a story about moses(A.s) than was quite interested me and I went online and saw stories of prophet and varies other things about islam ,that moved something inside me . One of the day after that as I was standing in salah, I was feeling guilty bout something ,an emptiness and it wasn't a happy feeling at all. I repented and cried and felt sick of what I was doing earlier. After repenting and purifying my heart all I want in this world is to know My Quran and my religion in a better way and to be honest towards my Allah. since that moment I gave up on everything I don't feel like getting into a university anymore .These days I'm learning surah yaseen and alhamdullah m at peace . I have given up on this world and m more worried and concerned about my afterlife and it is scaring the hell out of me.

so here is my question even though I ve repented and reverted but still feel scared about akhirah and meeting Allah. I'm not able to put this fear into words. I was the meanest person on this planet and I was a big fat liar, I've hurt so many people in so many ways , I don't even remember. im not mean nor do I lie not even the white ones still I feel scared and unprepared. Will I be forgiven?

Thank you for reading.. may peace and blessing of Allah azawajal be up on you!

Annfatima

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8 Responses »

  1. Dear Annfatima

    Alhamdollillah,
    Such an amazing change and you did it MashaAllah. With Allah's blessing you are on right path.. You made effort and you are guided, please keep up with your salaH and repent Allah is forgiving, merciful. Keep praying and you will be at peace. The best time to catch Allah is the last 3rd of the night till Fejer.

    You said you want to give up university, I would advice carry on with your education along with practicing religion.it may not be easy but not impossible.surround yourself with positive muslimah.

    May Allah's blessing be on you and your family. May Allah protect the Muslim Ummah.
    Keep it up.

  2. what do min.but why se u

  3. i failed to get the job i wanted , and i tried twice with all my might during 8 years period. i use to be so afraid about money and how would people think of me . and now i have an average job but it pays the bills for me. but i can say i have never been happier in my life . if you know god , he is enough for you. if you fail in something go in another direction .

  4. Asalam Alekum sister

    Alhamdulilah you found Allah and I must say you are nearer to Allah than me, you are learning Quran which I am not able to. I do not have money to pay for mentoring I advice you to start University and carry on but don't miss your Salah because it's your ticket to Jannah and Allahs mercy.

  5. Assalamualaikum.

    Allah is oft forgiving and most merciful..
    Do not give up on your university entrance and keep up your salah ...

  6. It's great to hear you are learning surah Yasin. Once you know it well enough by heart then definitely something you should pray every morning after Fajr Salaah.
    Also keep up with Salaah as one thing I learnt in life whether we feel we get something out of doing it or not it doesn't matter cuz what matters is we are doing what we MUST do as Muslims as it is a duty upon us to pray 5 times Salaah daily. Even if in the end Allah decides to throw us in hell then all that really matters is we have done what we were born for. If possible search up on a very pious Muslimah who lived and died many many centuries ago. Her name was Rabia Basriyah (R.A) and it is quite a story you will read about her.

  7. Thank you all ..
    I'm out of the bad things in my life..Allah guided me
    Yes m not giving up on my entrance..inshaAllah il make it this time

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