Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Thinking of marrying a Catholic Woman

I have question.

I am interested in marrying  a Catholic female,  but she is not ready to accept Islam and she is not ready to stop drinking or eating  pork.

I will be happy to get a right answer:  Should I marry her to give her dawa or not marry her at all?

Please I do need advise.

- falik

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3 Responses »

  1. Assalaamu alaikum. I dont know about marrying her to give her da'wah. Personally, I think this situation is what Yassir Fazaga would describe as a 'compatability timebomb.'
    In Islam it is permitted for men to marry a Christian or Jewish woman, but of course it is generally far better to marry a Muslim. We have been advised to choose a pious, righteous spouse.
    "A man marries a woman for four reasons: for her property, for her rank, for her beauty, and for her religion (and character). So marry the one who is best in the religion and character and prosper".
    ( Marriage quotation from Bukhari and Muslim)

    The Prophet (sAW) said:
    "Four things bring one joy: a righteous wife, a spacious house, a pious neighbor and a comfortable riding animal."( Quotes on marriage from Al-Hakim, Abu-Nu`aym and Al-Bayhaqi)

    Brother, I am by no means making generalisations. In some cases, the woman may be interested in islam through her fiancee (which is how my sis in law converted). But from what you have said, it doesn't seem that this lady is interested in Islam or ready. (You say she is not ready to stop eating pork or drinking.) I advise you not to marry her at least until she is ready to accept. I know you feel you want to marry her only and you love her etc, but this is your future so think very carefully. These differences you may be able to cope with now, but will you be able to in five, ten years time. And what about children? Will they grow up Muslim? Having children is often where the big problems start. I have heard too many stories about children growing up away from islam due to the mothers different faith.

    Sometimes brother what happens when we are all set on marrying someone its like we are wearing coloured glasses and we can't see the potential problems. People always complaining that their spouse has 'changed'. They were probably like that all along - you just didnt realise it.

    Im sorry to ask this but does she want to become Muslim or do you want her to become Muslim? Think about this. I dont know how halal your relationship was but avoid meeting her or getting close to her in any way, including emotionally. Keep any further contact with her halal, and do da'wah in the halal way. Maybe encourage her to meet with good Muslim sisters. Ask Allah to give you the best wife for you and a happy marriage. Do istakhaarah.Take this time to get close to Him, and improve your relationship with Him. Accept that this lady may not be right for you. If its Allahs will, she will find Islam and you will marry her.

    If shes not good for you there are plenty of other nice Muslim sisters out there, and if you look for deen and character in a wife then InshaAllah she will bring you joy, and you can encourage each other to please Allah (swt) Think ahead. But never marry someone in the hope of changing them. Hope this helps, soz for long post.

    May Allah forgive u, guide u and give you the best spouse for you.
    Wasalaam.

  2. I the Moslem, want to marry on christian to the Russian girl who too is ready, wants to accept Islam. She doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't eat pork. My parents against, want that I married the girl of my nationality. Whether I can marry it if it becomes the Moslem against the will of the parents? If yes, as to me it to make? Help me not to go astray Islam. Whether it is possible it is hidden from parents to marry it?

    • Zaurbek, please log in and write your question as a post. The short answer to your question is no, you should not get married secretly and hide it from your parents.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

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