Is it alright to consider two marriage proposals at the same time?
Marriage proposal.
Assalaamu Alaikum, Dear Brothers and Sisters,
I am facing another dilemma with regards to my marriage. A brother brought in a marriage proposal to my parents for me, through his parents. he is already a friend of mine and I know him averagely well, he is a person who practices Quran and Sunnah and has a very good upbringing, has a good education and a job.
I like him so I said okay to the proposal. His parents came over to see me and they like me.
But apparently his grandfather is having second thoughts as he has some other girl in mind. But the brother likes me and he has assured me that.
Now the proposal is processing and his family is trying to convince the grandfather, whether it would happen or not it's all in Allah's hands. This brother has told me that he would carefully deal with his family and to have faith in Allah, and to be positive, whatever happens would happen according to the will of Allah. I have placed my trust in Allah and hoping for the best.
Meanwhile my parents got another proposal for me from a different family, who wishes to come and see me. Since the former proposal has not been confirmed, my parents does not want to just depend on it hence they have agreed to for them to come and see me. Their opinion is whatever comes through they will go with that. I know nothing about this bro's level of Deen except that his parents has told my parents that he is religious.
Both these brothers are equally qualified, having good jobs and coming from good families.
Now my situation is that I honestly like the first proposal as I know the brother already, and about his character. I have faith in Allah that he would do what's best for me. So I have prayed Isthkara and left the rest to Allah. I have told this to my parents too, but they are saying since the other party has not given their consent yet we have to consider others.
My only concern is that, is it right for me to go and see this other brother when we are still waiting for a reply from the other party ?
Please help me with this, as I am extremely confused, and I don't want to get emotional and make wrong decisions.
Jazakallah Khair
- humanity
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Salamualaikum,
Sister, when you are convinced that the first proposal is good and you are not sure about the second, you should definately give preference to the first and ask your parents to confirm their decision.
If they say they need time to convince the grandfather, then he can probably ask them to specify the date when they will confirm their decision. He can say that another friend of his has a son who is waiting to see his daughter and he needs to reply to them.
This way, even the boy will work hard to convince his grandfather.
If this is good for you, insha Allah, they will show a positive response, otherwise, it is not good for you. This is the effect of Salatul Istikhaarah.
I Pray to Allah that He chooses the best among the two for you
Aameen
Wassalamualaikum
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
ASSALAMALAIKUM-
But apparently his grandfather is having second thoughts........
HE IS READY TO GO FROM THIS WORLD[SEEING HIS AGE -
HIS GRANDSON HAS THE RIGHT TO MARRY AND SELECT WHOM HE LIKES-
HE IS NOT MARRYING YOU ONLY HE CAN JUDGE THE PERSON TO GUIDE YOUNGSTERS AND NOT PUT ANY UN WANTED RIGHT TO SELECTION YOU AT ANY COST-
SHE HAS NO RIGHT IN SELECTION NEITHER PARENTS HAVE ONLY THEY ARTE SUPPOSED TO SEE THE KHANDAN OF THE BOY HIS RELIGIOUSNESS AND UPBRINGING
ALL THE RIGHTS OF SELECTION IS WITH YOU BOTH ONLY ......
PL TELL THAT BOY HIS GRANDFATHER DOES HAVE RIGHTS TO INTERFRE ONCE HE IS LIKING TO MARRY YOU-
REG 2ND PROPOSAL PEOPLE USUALLY HAVE TO GO WITH ONE LIKE YOUR CASE WHEN BOTH FAMILIES HAVE SEEN EACH OTHER AND FINAL YES HAS TO TAKE PLACE AND THIS GRAND FATHER MUST BE IGORANT OF ISLAM OR ELSE HE WOULDNT HAVE DONE WHAT HE IS DOING......
REGARDS
i have a question if someone has already been forced to say yes to the first proposal and it isn't working out, and another family wants to come, what's their situation?
Was is the parents who forced the girl to say yes?
Is the other family coming with the consent of the parents? Then the problem is solved. She could consider the second proposal and evaluate it.
No lady can be forced to marry a particular man. She has the complete right to choose her partner.
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
yes the girls parents forced her to say yes and are still forcing her because the guy is from within their family.
the other family hasn't approached the girls family yet and don't know what's the suitable way of approaching since the first proposal has been accepted?
Islamically, she has the right to deny, even now. She has the right to choose her partner. If she isn't contented with the first proposal and it the Nikah happens, this compromise could bring a lot of complications, plus it is possible that the relationship does not last long.
So, per me, she should deny the proposal, outright.
The second family can probably wait after this for the situation to normalize, then bring the proposal it the right time.
This is my opinion, and Allah knows Best.
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor