Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Unable to control my urges

dua help mercy questions why

Ok, so, when I was 16 i had sex with some girl, but at that time i didn't even really consider myself to be a Muslim and ever since then I have been masturbating non-stop. Lately over the past few two years I have been depressed and going through a lot of anxiety because my life is in a rut. I turned 19 this year, and I'm on the verge of breaking down and I can't seem to stop from committing this sin. Can anybody tell me how I can stop completely and be on the right path. I would really appreciate it.


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10 Responses »

  1. First repent for engaging in zina and never do it again or go near it. Second you need to identify the root cause of why it is that you keep going back to masturbation, the most likely cause is that your depressed. You should seek counselling for depression while also staying occupied with things like volunteering , gardening, cooking or other hobbies. Once you have reached a suitable age and feel like you are no longer at the mercy of your masturbating addiction then you should try to get married, so you can satisfy your future urges in a halaal manner.

  2. Asalam o alaikum brother.
    What you are going through is very common among many youngster.
    Your lack of intrest and anixiety is the aftermath of masturbation. Because it drains you out of all the good hormnes at once when you reach the climax and drains you out of the strength aswell.
    So here’s what you should do! You should cut down on the act slowly. You are addicted to it and thank Allah you didnt get a sudden shock (ie. Humiliation in front of the whole world) to realise that its not good for you.
    In Islam this act is prohbited but I have found that if your urges get too high as to drive you towards adultry than you can do it just to keep away from bigger sins. It doesn’t mean that you do it for pleasure. Repent to Allah for all your wrng doings and straighten up.! What Allah has forbbiden is surely bad for us and our healths. Lighten up! Repent, think deeply, reform yourself. Start going to gym or do excersize at home to divert your energies. Think what you want to be, start a new hobby or learn smething new. Be optimistic for Allah is always there if you call Him. You are young and you have a whole life in front of you...
    Do it slowly and start to replace it with other activities, socialize with good friends, read books or watch good t.v programes. Make your day so busy that you only have 8 hours max to sleep at night. Remember! You are in control of your body, don’t let lust take over you because it will drain you out of energy, strength, happiness, self esteem and manliness. You are strong and Allah is with those who are patient. May Allah get you out of this darkness and gives you happiness and purpose in life. Ameen.

    • Arwa: Your lack of interest and anxiety is the aftermath of masturbation........ Because it drains you out of all the good hormones at once when you reach the climax and drains you out of the strength as well.

      What is your source of information that (ejaculation by) Masturbation drains out your good hormones?

      Does this draining or hormones and strength happen to married men also when they ejaculate?

      • Asalam o Alaikum dear brother. No! It does not! Because when you do it the way Allah wants you to ie. By penetration, you get satisfyed emotionaly and you are with a partner. So you don’t over do it. Because intercourse takes effort whereas masturbation takes only 5,6mins and you can do it over 7,8 times a day, now can you have intercourse that regularly? I think not on a daily basis. So when you do it without a partner and there is no emotional satisfaction, you do it again and again and again to get that, in the process of doing so you get addicted to it. When you reach climax your body is filled with all the hormones you can name, endorhins, oxytocine, dopomine, seratonine, testastrone, melatonine etc. A man doing penatration would get tierd and preferably sleep after the intercourse whereas a masturbator doesnt get tierd so he keeps on doing it until all the good hormones are drained out and he is too. Which leaves behind the cortesole the stress hormone which makes u anxious.
        I hope that answered your question. Like I said, what Allah has forbidden surely isn’t good for our healths. I never wanted to go into these graphic details (may Allah forgive me for being this open) but your question was must to be answered as to not lead anyone astray if not.
        What you and our sister said up there about Salah and Quraan is very correct and it was my big ignorance that I forgot to mention that.
        May Allah guide us towards the right path and keeps the makar of shaitan away from us all. ameen.

        P.s= this link may help you to understand the harms that this sinful destructive act can cause. Waslam.

  3. One and the most important thing is missing: Salah and The Noble Qur'an. You did not mention about how well you are on performing the obligatory ibada'h. Make yourself equally indulged into performing worship in time and with utmost sincerity, along with engaging into other fruitful worldly activities as mentioned in above comments.

    • 100% this. Read Qur'an DAILY it purifies the heart, even if you carry on doing the sin NEVER stop reading Qur'an even if all you read is just read one line make sure you read everyday. And once your heart starts to be clensed you will slowly stop this sin.

      May Allah make it easy on you ... Ameen!

  4. Assalamualaikum King,

    Dear brother,

    What you are going through is the problem of many of the youngsters today. There are many youngsters and older people as well who are stuck in the habit of porn and masturbation. May Allah protect us all from that evil.

    Be strong and find ways to fight against your problem. Have a look at the website " yourbrainonporn " and watch the video on YouTube titled " From Addiction and Sin to devotion within " by Shaykh Hasan Ali.

    You are only 19 years and you have a long life ahead of you Inshallah. Be strong and prepare yourself to face the challenges of this world. It's not going to be easy but we can all go through life with all the difficulties and get rewarded for it in the Akhira.

    I am 32 and still struggling with my life. Lots and lots of problems which never seem to end. And more keep coming one after the other. But Alhamdulillah, I thank Allah for what he has given me and have complete trust in Allah that I'll have a better life one day. You're only 19 and no matter how messed up your life is you have to try and make the most of what Allah has given you and move on from there.

    Also, the most important thing is learn more and more about Islam and practice Islam as much as you can and Allah will make for you a way out of every difficulty.

    May Allah relieve you of all your problems.

  5. Sex is need of human body which should be fulfilled lawfully by marriage. When we delay marriage after puberty due to any reason we should control our sexual desires by fasting and sitting with good people. One of the major reason behind zina is delaying marriage after puberty. Now a days marriage is considered difficult and zina easy. If we keep marriages simple and base it on piety rather than money or status things will improve in sha Allah.
    My advice for you is:

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