Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Young man, unable to stop myself from sins

Every soul draws the meed of its acts on none but itself: no bearer of burdens can bear the burden of another.  Your goal in the end is toward Allah: He will tell you the Truth of the things wherein ye disputed. (Holy Quran 6:164)

Every soul draws the blame of its acts on none but itself: no bearer of burdens can bear the burden of another. Your goal in the end is toward Allah: He will tell you the Truth of the things wherein ye disputed. (Holy Quran 6:164)

I had been a good religious guy, but as soon as my teen age approached I got engaged with sexual activities and thus stepped away from Allah.

Let me make it clear that I am a virgin boy and have always kept my self away from zina  (Alhamdullilah), but I am unable to stop myself from watching porn and it finally leading to masturbating. I know the two main reasons are depression and boredom.

Going back  a few months, I had gotten control over everything. I used to pray 5 times, recited Quran daily, avoided music and kept my self away from porn. Honestly speaking. I used to feel a sudden change in my mood that would entice me to music, porn or masturbution but at that time I had a good amount of Iman in me and I could stay away from it.

But changes took place slowly and slowly. First, missing Salah at times, then reducing daily 5 times to only 4 or 3 even 2. Then I used to listen music again (very less that too at times), and this also changed into a daily routine of music, then finally I began missing namaz daily, then came porn and masturbution.

Now I am unable to have control over these wrong deeds. I am afraid now, I am unable to turn to right path. What should I do avoid these evil deeds and turn to Allah's path?

- Nabeel

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11 Responses »

  1. assalamaleykum hi,nabeel it seems to me u should get married to avoid this addiction of porn and masterbation etc u should completly stop watching porn as it misguides a person making u do more major aram such as zina etc trust me if u were married then u wouldnt have time to be bored dear.

  2. I agree with the sister above^

    It's okay to slip sometimes. After all, the shaitan goes to the GOOD muslims. One of shaitan's biggest promise to Allah was to get everyone/worshiper into hell..
    Shaitan doesn't go to bad muslims because adding more bad deeds isn't going to make a difference..but shaitan going to a good muslim will make a big difference in where you will end up --heaven or hell.

    If you can get married, get married.

    Fight shaitan!! lower your gaze, make tawbah (repentance) before it is too late! That's one of the reasons why Allah tells us to lower our gaze, because it leads to bad deeds.

    Good luck and take care.

  3. AOA,

    Always remind yourself how utterly reprehensible these actions are and how disgusting all porn is.

    Do you know that porn was actually created to dehumanise mankind and lead men to homosexuality? I read an article on it but can't find the link. The way women are treated in this filthy culture of porn is so disrespectful, violent and humiliating. Further to that, porn has encouraged men to fornicate like devils by popularising intercourse in the forbidden area like the people of Sodom.

    Marry for the right reasons and don't rush in, as you don't want to torment some poor girl with the legacy of this vile addiction. You need to purify yourself first.

    Cut your internet connection and be grateful to Allah at least that you have come to your senses in acknowledging your actions as evildoing. For when we know something is wrong, to repeat it knowingly is far more sinful.

    You should fast, pray and cut out music, as from what you say music is the catalyst for your doom.

    • I agree with you!

      "From the sunnah of the Prophet Peace be Upon Him:

      Abdullaah ibn Mas’ood said, "We were with the Prophet while we were young and had no wealth whatsoever. So Allaah’s Messenger said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power." Bukhari:5066."

      "The hadeeth orders men who are not able to marry to fast despite the hardship encountered in doing so, and not to masturbate despite the ease with which it can be done."

  4. Assalamu'alaikum,

    Many people said imaan is like a wave. Sometimes high and sometimes low.

    Worshipping (Ibadah) need sabr.
    And sabr is in the first beat.

    Anas bin Malik reported that a messender of Allah approached a woman who was weeping for his son (who died), and said to him, "Fear Allah and be patient." The woman (who did not recognize him) said, "You do not experience as I did." When the Prophet went to leave, he told her who was speaking is the Prophet. She feel shocked. She had come to the house and did not find the Prophet guards at the door. She said: "O Messenger of Allah, I had not recognized you." Then the Prophet said, "Patience is in the first beat." (Reported by Muslim).

    What you are doing now is correct. You only need to add sabr in it.
    Always remind your selves what is in Allah side is better than everything 🙂

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  6. I don't think getting married straight away is the answer, first get rid of the desires of watching porn etc. establish prayers again and do nafl namaz as soon as you feel like to sin. Correct yourself first. What if you get married and can't stop watching porn? That will only create problems...

    Allah knows best


  7. Assalamu Alaikum dear brothers and sisters, I am also the one who have faced such situations i have just gone through many sites all say that the cure is in you ,"Self-Restrain". What you need is an environment surrounded by goods your families or friends who lead you to THE RIGHT WAY.

    And also i have a problem with myself b'coz i have an environment where i couldn't fast or not the right age to marry. And as my both parents work they take much late to come back home and yet they don't allow me to do fast without reasons and would just wont let me do if i say its for Allah (as its not the required age). and i can't get a cure my self nothing helped me and i don't have neighbors to play with me

    I always do Salah in the mosque except Fajar and Luhar(I'd pray them in school) and Asar (becomes kalah as I get back to home) read Quran a page every day and well I'm not fond of any music but when there is a time to entertain myself i go to the bad side(watch all the bad)
    Please help me.

  8. Salam Alaikum brothers or sister,
    Brother when i read your message i really feel so pain and sadness that you were such a good pious that you performed your namaz regularly and read Quran Sharef but now instead of doing good deeds you are watching porn and masturbating and even worst that you are missing your prayers, listen dear brother first clean yourself and fast then from depths of heart pray and ask for forgiveness and know that Allah is so mercy full and very kind but that does not mean that you repeat the same act and say that Allah is mercy full, whenever you start to think of something like that, recite Surah An Nas from your depths of heart,
    Say, "I seek refuge in the Lord of mankind,
    The Sovereign of mankind.
    The God of mankind,
    From the evil of the retreating whisperer
    Who whispers [evil] into the breasts of mankind
    From among the jinn and mankind."

    dear brother please think that the act (masturbating) you are doing or watching porn these are haram and know that Allah is watching you that you are doing such a dirty act.
    may Allah guide all of us.

  9. Assalamu Alaikum......I m also facing the same problm as mentioned by our brothers..I was a good religious guy upto 10th class....I m a staunch believer of Allah...I respect my religion ,.n I totally dislike the things which are against our religion ..As every thing is planned by Allah...afterthat it is upto we ppl weather we will accept good or bad...after my matriculation ..I fall in love with a girl ..and still I am in relationship with has been about 4 years ...that we two are loving each other truely...but I always remains in tOuch with Allah....I dont know weather she is or not but for girlfrnd is the reason for my masturbation...I m loosing my health ..n at the sametime when I think of avoiding her she used to call me..n she used to cry for a long time as she can not bear seperation frm me...and same from myside .....then I think for sometime..if I would be the responsible person for her broken heart then may be Alllah would not b happy fr me......simply I want to sAy that Idont have the knowledge of islam (even of the tip of the needle.)............I want to avOid masturbation..My parents are expecting lots of frm mee.when ever they used to say that u r getting weaker day by really strikes my heart and brings tears in my eyes.......I want to avoid masturbation ....Please remember me in ur dUas...and all the depressed Muslims all over the world........(Assalamu Alaikum(

  10. Allah humma khair,,,may Allah guide us all..aameen summameen remember me in ur prayers..... Jazakallah

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