Islamic marriage advice and family advice

She swears on Allah that she is loyal; but I am not able to trust her

broken trust, trust, broken marriage, lies

Broken trust?

Assalam o Alaikum ,

Dear brothers and sisters, in a few days i'm going to have engagement with my cousin. she's 19 years old and i'm 24 years old, my problem is that when she was 13 and my younger brother was 16 (now 22), they used to like each other and after sometime they stopped liking each other, when she got 15 or may be 16 years old i started to like her and eventually after some months we fell in love and it's been 3 years that we love each other.

When i turned 21 i went Saudi Arabia for job and from there we stayed in contact with each other, now in some days we are gonna become fiances, the point is that when i came back i asked her that did she ever kissed any one except me so she swore on ALLAH, then one day i asked her again and she took an oath on Quran , i love her so much and she also loves me but i don't know why i'm unable to trust her,

In fact she took oath on Quran twice, on the other hand she has memorized Sura Ar-Rehman, Yasin, the 30th Juz, and now she is memorizing the 1st chapter like she has a lot of Islamic knowledge and she prays 5 times a day....

What should i do??? should i trust her ??


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9 Responses »

  1. what kind of a question is it?

    either you have told something by someone about her that has brought doubts in your mind or you have serious trust issues!

    bro if you are planning to get married learn to trust first .

    may Allah guide you.

    • Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

      I think you mean,

      either you have been told something by someone about her that has brought doubts in your mind or you have serious trust issues!

      I think your advise is sound. This girl shouldn't suffer from his trust issues.

      Brother, you must ask Allah to guide you to what the best decision is for you. Allah is testing you.

  2. ASSALAMALAIKUM
    1ST OF ALL YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO SWEAR ON THE QURAN EXCEPT ON ALLAH-
    1ST OF ALL YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO LOVE BEFORE MARRIAGE AND KEEP ON GOING FOR 3 YEARS -WHICH IS HARAM IN ISLAM AND THEN YOU START THIS UNWANTED DIRTY APPROACH FOR SACNTIFIED RELATION CALLED MARRIAGE-
    IS THIS QUESTION TO ASK A GIRL WHEN YOU MAINTAINED THE PERIOD OF ASSURENCE FOR MARRIAGE-

    YOU MUST HAVE ASKED IF IT WAS SO IMPORTANT WHEN YOU LIKED HER IN THE 1ST PLACE-
    TAKE OUT THIS QUESTION FROM YOU MIND AS YOU HAVE NOT KNOW MANY MANY GIRLS WHO HAVE SLEPT WITH MANY BOYS AND GET MARRIED TO SOMEONE ELSE...
    THIS RIDICULIOUS YOU WANT TO KEEP HER CONTACT FOR SO MANY YEARS AND NOW COME FROM SAUDI AND ASK HER A WEIRD QUESTION

    THIS IS BECAUSE YOU ARE INFLUNECED BY SATAN TO CREATE CONFUSION AND DISTRST AND FINALLY SPOIL THE COMING FUTURE WHICH SHE IS LONGING FOR AND YOURS ALSO-

    THIS CURIOSITY WILL BE THE REASON FOR DISCORD IF YOU CONTINUE WITH IT-
    PLS TELL SORRY TO HER AND STOP THIS AND TAKE IT OUT FROM YOUR MIND AND PROCEED FURTHER-
    SEEING HER ISLAMIC DEDICATION YOU MUST JUST PUSSHED THE QUESTION FROM YOUR MIND DO YOU THINK SUCH A NAIK AND PIOUS GIRL IS THERE NOWADASY FOR GOOD WIFE-YOU ARE LUCKY BUT SATAN WANTS TO SEE THAT YOU BECOME UN;UCKY AND THIS MOVE OF YOURS IS ONE EHWICH MIGHT SHAKE HER DEDICATION TO ALLAH-
    THIS WILL BE BETTER FOR YOU AND HER .....
    REGARDS
    ALI YOUSUFF

  3. Salam Brother!

    You Must Trust her and Marry her and spend a Happy life...
    She will love you in your life ever because these sort of girls are so Precious who are Religious and are So trust worthy...

    Past has gone and the teenage has so many things like this but once you became mature and know what is this world and what the religion say about life you became very responsible in all aspects...

  4. What is the question?

    Try to trust her. As you don't know what she did behind your back, even she is unaware of what u did behind her back: Is she suppose to not trust you? and BTW kissing before marriage? It means you guys kissed b4 Nikah. which is Haram I guess..

  5. Walaikumassalam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu

    Do you know what ‘Eesa (peace be upon him) did when he saw a man stealing, and that man swore to him by Allaah that he did not steal? Think about it:

    It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “‘Eesa ibn Maryam saw a man stealing and ‘Eesa said to him: ‘Did you steal?’ He said: ‘No, by the One besides Whom there is no other god.’ ‘Eesa said: ‘I believe in Allaah and I disbelieve my own eyes.’” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (3260) and Muslim (2368).

    Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The Messiah (peace be upon him), because of the great fear of Allaah in his heart, thought that this person who swore by the Oneness of Allaah was telling the truth, so his belief in Allaah made him believe him and make him think that his eyes had deceived him, and shown him something that he did not see, so he said: “I believe in Allaah and I disbelieve my own eyes.”

    Undoubtedly one’s eyes may be mistaken and see things other than they really are, and may imagine things that do not really exist, then reason dictates that this is a mistake. The Messiah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) put his faith before his vision, and disbelieved what his eyes had seen, and attributed the mistake to himself.

    Badaa’i’ al-Fawaa’id (3/1159, 1160).

    _______________________

    subhanAllah.
    you said i came back i asked her that did she ever kissed any one except me . So you think you can kiss her even without being married with her ? huh ???

    The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “For one of you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle is better for him than that he should touch a woman who is not permissible for him.”

    Narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Kabeer, 486. Shaykh al-Albaani said in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5045, that this hadeeth is saheeh.

    Repent sincerely to Allah for what ever haraam you did with her before marriage. Ask her also to Repent sincerely.

    _____________

    May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!

    • Subhana Allah beautiful advice.

      It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “‘Eesa ibn Maryam saw a man stealing and ‘Eesa said to him: ‘Did you steal?’ He said: ‘No, by the One besides Whom there is no other god.’ ‘Eesa said: ‘I believe in Allaah and I disbelieve my own eyes.’” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (3260) and Muslim (2368).

      This made me envy Esa(alai) for his love of Allah and his .... I have no words

  6. Dear Muslim Brothers n Sisters i really respect and appreciate your comments and thanx for your help, it is just because she liked my brother when she was just a 13 years old girl, on the other side i was also engeged to her elder sister in childhood but she never asked me any thing about her,,, By ALLAH i'm not a person who likes to do Haram things, i never did any thing worng or Haram with a girl except her and with her also i had chances but i never crossed my limits but i know that even kissing a girl is Haram before merriage and i feel shame and for this i don't want to leave her.... i didn't see any thing with my own eyes neither i have any clue or a proof and, she is a really nice girl who prays 5 times a day and i hope she'll become a wonderfull wife.... i should throw out this waswasa of satan from my heart....

    • may Allah make it easy for you and us my brother.

      It is narrated in al-Saheehayn from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the falsest of speech. Do not eavesdrop; do not spy on one another; do not envy one another; do not forsake one another; do not hate one another. Be, O slaves of Allaah, be brothers.”

      Al-Bukhaari, 5144; Muslim, 2563.

      Learn more about Islam.
      Do not fall into the traps of the Shaitan.
      Remember that Shaitan is the biggest enemy of ours.
      _______________

      May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!

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