Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My sister is in an unlawful marriage. Please help.

wedding rings divorce

Can anyone help me to know dua to recite for breakage of my younger Muslim sister (19 y/o) unlawful relationship with her non-muslim husband, with who she did secret court marriage-not mosque or church marriage whatsoever. This fellow is illegal in U.S and we all know he did this for sake of greencard- he is not planning to convert to Islam nor my sister is forcing him-infact she says if he is not telling me to convert (Naozobillah) so how can I ask him too. I was doubt may be she chnaged religion but when I asked her to read kalma and she did- she is not converted (God forbid) but she is away away from religion.

My parents are having a very very hard time, because my sister has cut off her all relationships with her- she called police even- I didn´t know that laws are so strong for illegal aliens than legal folks. Some people says it´s black magic, some says she is away from religon- Allah knows better what is true but as his origin is from chennai- I didn´t mean that every one belonging to that place is superstitious- but circumstances are telling that there is no match between him and my sis in education, personality, background, he is very poor personality, ZERO (zero) education guy, moreover we and even her don´t know anything about his family because all we saw is his parents picture and rest of his family is in Chennai.

And who knows he is already married in his home country and the man who speaks longdistance on phone with my sis is this man father or not. This is tough to swallow and from almost last year she even did not finish her education- her education stopped there.

Now she is living with him from last 8 months and commiting Zinah- unlawful relationship-even we told her plenty times along with Quran ayats tht no muslim woman can marry non-muslim guy, but she is not willing to listen to us and now moreover she doesnt even reply my mom's call- mom leaves her crying messages in her voicemail but she is not talking to my mom except my elder bro- who is also involved in with non-muslim girl, infact my bro is worst, more selfish not willing to help my family in this situation, instead he is creating more negative feelings in her (my sis) mind against my parents and me. My parents and me are going through the toughest time of our life.

Please who ever read this blog pray for my younger sister to become good Muslimah and her return to good deeds and closeness to Islam, May this upcoming month of Ramadan become good for return of all Muslima girls to thier parents who are away from religon and involved in  unlawful relationship.

If someone knows any dua or wazifa to recite for breaking unlawful relationship pls do tell me., thats all I can do cuz she is not meeting or talking to us. If someone has any suggestion to resolves this issue please don't hesistate to write- I am too much worried about her becuase I know my sis was not this as she is now and she never/ever agreed on any topic discussion for getting married with non-muslim man.

Please help


Your Sister

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10 Responses »

  1. If I were to give my honest opinion on what to do, Brother Wael would remove my comment. He would tell me that Islam is forgiving and merciful as a religion.

    But I'm sure there are cases of Muslims going away from Islam and Islam states come down on them with force, I'm not sure what force you can/cannot use, but Learned scholars can advise you and this is where is becomes difficult in the shameless west where if a father uses force on his children, he's prosecuted for assault, in the east and in Muslim countries, rightly it is encouraged to lightly use force.

    I am the man I am right now because when I messed up as a child my dad beat me badly. At the time I hated it, but I am grateful to ALlah that my dad beat when I messed up, it tought me to become a good man.

    I think your father needs to come down hard on your sister, if she is still stubborn and stays with a kuffar husband, then you must contemplate life without her.

  2. Why don't you make dua to Allah that this man becomes a muslim as soon as possible? Pray that Allah SWT puts the seed of iman in this man's heart so that he does the right thing and reverts to Islam.

  3. Sister Precious can I please speak to you. I have posted a question but it hasnt come up yet. and I really need help

    • Dear Ukti_F,

      I don't know when you submitted your question but currently we are dealing with questions submitted in late July and there are a queue of people waiting their questions to be answered too. So, I'll have to ask you to be a little patient until your turn comes inshaAllah. Sorry for the delay! And please refrain from asking your question here as it will be deleted.

      SisterZ Editor

  4. Sister, salaam,

    There is no miracle 'dua' for every specific domestic problem faced in there is no such dua/wazifa that will turn back the clock or bring ur sister to her senses. Life doesn't work like that and our deen is complete without the need for specific "wazifas" to recite for every problem.

    Dua is encouraged at all times...and what we do is underestimate the power of a sincere dua made from the depth of the heart, where the eyes shed tears. Call upon Allah swt, especially in the dark hours of the night - tahajjud- that he may help you and all members of your family during this testing time. It is but a test from Allah swt...remember that.

    I have to be frank here and say that all you can do is advice your sis..and leave her to be. You cannot force her to do anything..I presume shes old enough and baaligh and so she has made a decision and she will suffer the consequences. Many a times in life we see people committing stupid mistakes and sins..and we can see how they are leading themself to destruction..but we cannot 'force' them to do the right thing...we give naseehah and do dua to Allah to guide them.
    For sure your sister will reap what she has sown - she will soon realise that no human will care for her and love her like her family, especially mother does and she will come crying to you guys. But what has happened has alrady happened..she has gone to that man, is living with him and made her choice. As her family, you guys have done the right thing and already informed her many times that what she is doing is unlawful and sinful.
    You know the answer....What more can be done??

    I pray to Allah that he brings your sister to her senses and relieves you and your family's suffering, Ameen.


  5. Dear Saimaa786,

    Asalaamualaykum, this is a surely a very very difficult situation for you all to deal with. Your sister is far from Islam and none of you can force her to turn back. I know people in this exact same situation and it is so hard. After years of having disowned the daughter, she is now meeting the family again, but its very hard - because her 'marriage with a hindu man' is unlawful in Islam and so she is committing zina and has children with this man too.

    So how does one draw a balance? Do you try to keep her included in your lives in the hope that your compassion will bring her back to the right path or do you disown her so that she realises the extent of her sin? I don't know and would find it very difficult to deal with this if I was in this situation. But I would hope that I would always keep my doors open for her so I could remind her of her deen. At the same time I would not associate with her as freely as before, as I would have to show my objection - I dont know, its a difficult one. May Allah save us all from ever being in such a situation, aameen.

    I know this will be hard, but could you perhaps invite your sister and her husband out for a meal - without your parents as they will be too emotional. And here - you could speak to your sister about the importance of Islam and ask her partner if he will look into Islam, as if he sees sence in Islam and accepts it, all will be well inshaAllah. This seems idealistic, but its a very positive step you could take. If he doesnt show any willingness to learn about Islam - do not become at all angry or forceful but do express clearly the reasons for your and your parents strong disapproval.

    Allah (swt) states in Surah al-Isra, Ayah 110 of the Quran: "Say: Call upon Allah or call upon, the Beneficent Allah; whichever you call upon, He has the best names; and do not utter your prayer with a very raised voice nor be silent with regard to it, and seek a way between these."

    He(swt) also says, “Do not despair of solace from Allah (swt). No one despairs of solace from Allah except for people who disbelieve.” [Sura Yusuf, 87]

    And Rasul(sws) said: “The dua of a Muslim for his brothers in his absence is readily accepted, an angel is appointed to his side, whenever he makes a beneficial dua for his brother, the angel says, ‘Ameen’, and May you be blessed with the same”. (Sahih Muslim).

    So my dear sister - make a hearty positive dua for your sister. This is the month of Mercy, make dua for her at Iftar, at Tahujjud, whilst in Sujood and ask Allah Almighty to forgive your sister. Instead of asking Allah to break up the marriage, Ask Him(swt) to have Mercy on her and to bring her back to Islam and He(swt) is Most Capable to do that in any way He(swt) wishes to. Ultimately it is up to Allah(swt) to instil a love of Islam in both your sisters and her husband's heart.

    I pray that Allah brings both your brother and sister back to Islam and your sister's husband to Islam too and that He(swt) gives you and your parents peace and contentment, aameen.

    Rasul(sws) would pray: "Oh Allah, the One Who turns hearts, make my heart firm in faith," aameen!

    SisterZ Editor

  6. Saimaa786

    My heart breaks for you and what you are going through. The only advice I can give you is to give dua for her. I do not know any specific duas for this situation but I think it will be okay to ask for Allah to guide your sister back to Islam however you may say it in any language. I think you should also explain the importance of Islam to both your sister and her husband as SisterZ has mentioned. Show them videos on Youtube of people converting to Islam & scholars explaining Islam correctly.

    My sister has also had an unlawful relationship with a non Muslim, but circumstances changed when she realized that Allah has always been there for her and she could not displease Him any longer, so do not give up hope because there is always a chance that she may get a change of heart later on and realize her mistakes. You just need to educate her more on Islam and remind her of the beauty of our religion because the main reason why we do these things is because we are not close to Allah and the only way to be close to Allah is to first know him, listen to him and follow his rules. InshAllah I will keep your sister and all my Muslim brothers & sisters who are in an unlawful relationships in my prayers.


  7. Thank you to my all brothers & sisters, who replied my post and mentioned their symphathy and great advices. I tried everything but none hasn't worked yet, I believe only Allah can guide her and time is selected by Allah (swt) my prayers to be answered. I pray forgiveness of her sins, and family. I know what ever we sow we harvest. My parents were not close to deen, intact my dad still only pray jumma but my mother prays as much as she can. This hurts me more when I don't see him praying when he sees me praying. I m not perfect, but I m trying my best to be close to Islam and follow religion. I try to pray 5 times, recite Quran with translation daily, read 40 Rabbana daily, sometime Tahajud,. But I know what ever good I will do I will get but how Allah will listen my dua from all my heart when my dad us into sins of zinah with other women. I had fight with him sometimes, shwed him anger about his unlawful relation with other women we are paying in return of my sister, I know my parents never thought about their daughter will ever get involved into this kind of unlawful relationship. And I think this is Azab-e-Illahi not azamaish, people who are into azamaish change their way of life according to Islam but those who are into azab don't change their way soon... But um glad this incident is way to change my life towards Islam and spend my rest if life as good Muslimah, please all of you pray for me to be on right path and understand Islam more and more. Also after reading pray for my sister that May Allah (swt) guide her.

    Thanks all

  8. Assalam-o-alykum,

    Dear sister,
    Please trust Allah.I will pray for u and Insha-Allah i have full faith on Allah that he will bring ur sis on right path of Islam and she will realize her mistake soon.plz click on the following link InshaAllah u will find ur solution. But remember u should have full faith on Allah.

    remember me in dua.
    ur sister

  9. Asalmualekum,

    I am writing on behalf of my friends marriage with a Wahhabi woman, who proclaims that shes married for 5 months and also pregnant for 5 months, she's creating problems between brother and sister and home, and also accusing this guy for things he hasn't done. How can we help this brother to have a peaceful life

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