Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Unsure about my marriage

Unhappy marriage

I am born a Muslim and grew up in a Muslim family. I'm not the best Muslim Woman I would like to be but I do believe in Islam 100% and try to abide by it as much as I can.

Since I was 16 years old I've been in love with a white man who wasn't Muslim at the time, his family comes from a Christian background but he never believed in being Christian and only that there is a God. I Introduced him to Islam he would practice prayer with my family and he was very involved. He decided to say the shehadah a year later, he didn't tell his family till he was 18 which i was okay with, although he was never really open about it and I always had doubts that he only did so he was able to marry me. Anyways fast forward I put him through through different tests just to make sure I'm not being lied to or that he is truly a Muslim and he always succeeded.

We eventually got married at the age of 21 us being young we decided to move in with his family till we have enough money to move out and so on, previously we have had issues with him smoking weed and drinking but he always promised to stop and I always threatened him I would leave him but never did.

Now I'm 26 years old and we have been married for 5 years during the 5 years he had only seen my family once and no interest in doing anything as being a Muslim. As I said before I'm not a perfect example of a Muslim either but i do try to better myself as far as praying and reading Quran and always avoiding things that will lead me to sin.

I feel like I've been tricked into this marriage as far as him being a Muslim, every time I mention that to him he swears up and down he is a Muslim and that I have no right to tell him that since I'm not God which I know he's right , but now I feel stuck i am in love with him but I can not see a future with him as the father of my future children or even as an ideal Muslim husband to push me and himself to the straight path which I really truly would like to go to. I'm also very afraid that I'm sinning just being with him.

Thank you


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4 Responses »

  1. Why are you just judging him? What about you? You loved him and he was a non muslim clearly you had a relationship with him. His with you and you have been married for 5 years!!! What are u trying to do? You are saying your are sinning now? What are u talking about I bet his a better muslim than you he married you and converted and now you after the point of marrying him say you can't see him as a father? You choose to marry the white man and now you are waking up. All man including muslim man have problems with drugs and so on and that is for allah to judge.

    • I think your advice is plain rediculous. You are the one judging. And not all men have problems with drug and alcohol. My husband doesn't have any issue with those things and how dare you say that all men do. What are you on is my question?

  2. Dear sister,
    I think the best thing would be to try marriage counceling or go straight to the source and tell him he must quit doing drugs and drinking. If he can't stop eventually for you or allaha then it wasn't meant to be. Sound like a bitter relative of your husbands or druggie gave you mean comments instead of advice. She needs to be ignored. I wish you the best.

    • My dear. Remember one thing Allah have gave You a reward to converted him in islam masha'allah You did a Great job know its You roll to pray 5 time on time and ask Allah to change him to Be a better husband and to forgive You and him and to make This mariage work and insha'allah He Will help You dont give up all the marriage are not perfect So keep your hopes in Allah and,have fait and try your self to Be a better muslim when He Will see You That your a perfect wife believe me He Will change inshallah all the best

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