Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Want to marry him, but I feel he is afraid. Should I give up hope?

marriage marry love

Assalaamu Alaikum Brothers and Sisters,

I am a sister in need of some guidance. I have a muslim man that I was seeing and being intimate with since 2007. He opened my eyes to Islam. We have a child together. I converted in 2011 and since then we have not been intimate in any way. We both repented for what we did and have expressed the desire to become husband and wife so that our union would be allowed in the Islamic way and not earn Allah's (swt) anger.

We see each other once a week so that he and our daughter can continue building their bond as she is only 2 years old. My concern is that he wants to get married but we have set forth no time to have a nikah not even in the future. And I believe that he honestly does want to marry, I just think he may be a little scared to take that step. Should I wait for him or should I just give up the hope that we will one day be husband and wife? I have made dua for both himself and myself and asked for Allah's patience and guidance.


Tagged as: , ,

1 Responses »

  1. Dear Muslimah807, Walaykumsalaam,

    Maasha'Allah on accepting Islam and also on striving to keep away from sin for the sake of Allah. May Allah reward you for this.

    I believe that you should give the father of your child a very strong ultimatum. Tell him that you want to marry him and live together as a proper Muslim family and that if he does not wish to do this he needs to make his intentions clear straight away. Furthermore, that since he has had a relationship with you, claims to want to marry you, has had a child with you and you have whole heartedly accepted Islam - what is causing his hesitation? If he really wants, he could marry you today.

    If he continues delaying marriage with no credible reason, I would encourage you to move on with your life and make this known to him. And also ensure that when he comes to visit his child that a third person is present with you, i.e. a mahram, a female friend or other family member.

    At the same time, I also encourage you to learn about Islam from sources other than this man too, i.e. go to a good Muslim Community centre or Masjid, befriend some Muslim females and ask an Imam to represent you as your Wali through this or any other marriage you enter into.

    SisterZ Editor

Leave a Response