Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My first boyfriend betrayed me, now I want to marry this new guy

Playing video games togetherI wrote an year ago to this very same site of how I wanted to marry my bf and we had committed zina.

Well he didnt keep his word and left me waiting, he even shouted at me for even asking him to meet his parents and said "next year". I cried a lot and tried to make him understand how important this was for me and how serious was the sin we committed, but he was adamant on his decision and ignored everything I had to say.

He ignored my calls, texts..and finally I didnt hear from him ever again.

I realised how foolish I was and how he mistreated me, so I never tried to contact him again and prayed to Allah to show me guidance and to forgive me.

Soon I met a guy who was junior to me in university. He was a decent nice guy but was younger than me. We were friends at first and played video games together, soon we fell in love. This time I made sure not to repeat the mistake of indulging in physical activities. We just talked together, hung out with our mutual friends.

He was eager to get married to me. Even though he is working and earning a decent salary. His job is too pressurizing and he has recently turned 20. He is still studying.

My parents on the other hand have been disheartened on how my ex abandoned me, especially my mother who cant bear to see me so hurt and heartbroken. She has started searching suitable guys for me although I dont feel I am ready for marriage. I agreed to let her continue her search.

I havent told her about the new guy yet. I love him with all my heart and he is eager to meet my parents but is afraid that my parents will reject him because he is still studying.

I am very worried and crying out of anxiety and stress on what to do..I really want to get married to a guy who loves and cares for me which this guy is. He respects me, cares for me and is man of good character unlike the previous guy. What should I do? How should I approach my parents about the situation?

-  Fallen Angel110

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4 Responses »

  1. You should tell your parents as soon as possible. They will understand your situation this time inshaAllah. Also pray Salat ul Istikhara. I will appreciate it if you repy to my dream post.

  2. I would advice you to to ask Allah for forgiveness for doing sin .. secondly if repetance is done sinsely hope so allah will forvive you and doors of repetance are open for allah ,allah love those to turn to him ... and do istkara before talking this very imp decision of life..perform salah regualr read quran with meaning ask allah in dua for right guidance and sucessful path .. in this world and herefater .if you read quran Allah will give you (FURQOON- Knowledge of right and wrong ..) ...

  3. Assalamu 'alaikum

    I pray Allah to make things easy for you.
    People makes mistakes in life. That is the way we were created by Allah (SWT). One of the things that Allah loves most is sincere rependance. Rependance include to hate the sin comitted and hate to fall into it again.

    Not engaging in physical activities with this boy is, Alhamdulillah, a great initiative. You should also know that this was not the only mistake that you did. A girl is not allowed to have a relationship with a boy who is not her mahram. Not just physical relationship. The girl and boy cannot talk, text, chat or be alone with each other.

    So to avoid the mistakes that you did, you should close any sort of contact with this guy. This might be very hard but remember that Allah is with those who are patient.

    If the guy is genuine about marrying you, leave it to him to come and talk to your parent. He will if he is really genuine. If he can provide for you, then he is allowed to marry you. If his Islam and character is good, your father or wali should accept him.
    Do istikhara when he proposes. If there is good in it then Allah, 'azza wa jal, will insha Allah make it easy for you.


  4. i am so sorry you are very simple girl you dont know any thing if you knew you would not committed sin with other guy i am sure girls are very simples i am sure they cant select a good partner for own life sister what do you think about the next guy you found for your life may he be the same like other one but please be carefull and try not to be decived be thinkful in every work what do you do in future first think that this work is allowed in islam in deen in our culture than do dear so now pray for your self too for me too and say to the guy send your family to my family for marriage and say to your father this guy is very honest if your father be come agree so it will be good but if he reject dont mind father never want to desryed the life of daughter

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