Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I want a physical relationship with my boyfriend now.

Interactions between the engaged couple

I am interested in kissing with my boyfriend..but he is a good boy.. and he will marry me after 3 years...the wait is because his study isn't yet complete, he is so young, and he cannot tell his family that he loves me. He will tell them later after finishing study.

But I want to play with him now... I cannot wait for long years. Please tell me what do I do? If we do this before nikkah will Allah punish me?  I have tried to pleasure myself but still feel tense.

[Editor's note: I have edited your post to remove the explicit details - please remember that this is an Islamic website, so explicit descriptions of sexual activities are not appropriate. - Midnightmoon.]

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3 Responses »

  1. Start praying namaaz and pray Quran get these thoughts out ur head. Start worshipping and ask for gods forgiveness and god will lead u in the right path Inshallah.
    Talk to someone bout these feeling u get, do not pleasure urself in anyway. Inshallah god will help u

  2. Assalaamualaikam

    Firstly, premarital relationships aren't acceptable in Islam, so you shouldn't be dating. If you and this boy wish to be together as an Islamically married couple, then he or his family should approach your family with a proposal, which can then be considered by you and your wali. Nikah would make you both halal for each other, but wouldn't necessarily affect his studies in any way.

    As Muslimahs, we are instructed to guard our chastity, and not to disrespect ourselves, our future husbands or our faith by engaging in prohibited acts such as premarital sex. Nobody ever said this would always be an easy task, but hold tight to your faith and ask Allah for strength to resist temptation. If you are struggling, it may help to incorporate fasting into your life, so long as you are physically fit to do so, to lower your sexual urges and strengthen your imam (don't go to extremes though - Islam teaches moderation).

    Stay away from things that cause you to have lustful thoughts, and keep busy with things that will inshaAllah improve your connection to Islam (eg: study groups, school/college, voluntary work, spending time with practising sisters).

    Midnightmoon editor

  3. Read carefully,
    What you want now will lead you to point of "no return". Yes! once you indulge yourself into illegal sexual acts you are finished. Remember Nikkah is the only way. Nikkah, Nikkah, and Nikkah! Only. Don't care what he says to you. CARE WHAT ALLAAH SAYS TO YOU. Do nikkah now. Forget what that person says. Your mind is not completely developed. He is cheating on you. Once you fall into his trap you are finished. Please sister remember my above statement very very carefully. Do nikkah now.

    If he don't want Nikkah. Forget it. Leave him now. Change your cell number. Keep a 100 miles distance from him. Remember Allaah Do not like illegal sexual acts.

    regards sister,
    Allaah Knows the Best!

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