Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I want to be respected and honored

Extingish Disrespect

A boy senior to me in my college insulted me by indirectly saying that I am not pretty at all. Well I don't have any complex, since he just wanted to insult me. I am thankful to Allah for making me the way I am, and very happy with my looks and personality.  But there were a lot of people there, thus this was a little embarrassing. However I replied him in a way that it was also insulting for him.

This is not about one event, it's about my life. People do sometimes bully me since childhood, because I am very outspoken and talkative. Ihave had this problem that I want to have a lot of friends. I want to be admired a lot and want to be the center of attention with many people.

I want to excel in my life, and another thing I want to is have a very loving husband. But I  know all of this is not possible, so I get depressed sometimes and then decide to lead a simple life without expecting all of this, and be happy with what Allah gives me. I need emotional stability, so can you guide me what I should do? How should I live  to have a smoothe life?



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5 Responses »

  1. Sister,

    Life is full of trials and tribulations.

    You can excel in your life and God willing you can have a loving husband too. It is possible. Anything is possible with faith. Work hard at your college and you will go far. May Allah guide a pious and sweet brother your way when the time is right.

    I don't think there is any such thing as a "smooth life" sister. Life is what you make it. There are ups and downs and times when you don't think you can't go on. Put your faith in Allah and he will guide you and never forsake you.


  2. Aslaam sister i went through a very simlar experience or to say somthing worse. Believe when i say this a test of patience im not saying that you shuldnt stand up for you are but more to consider that those who bully are ptobly bullied themselves. Im not making excus. es but it codhave just been you were at the wrong place at wrong time

  3. AOA,

    Based on your brief description, I don't see any major problem. Obviously you are young as you are in college and you will look back and think what on earth were you fussing about.

    You have plenty of positives in that you are confident in what you have and can speak up for yourself. I recommend not to get carried away with being too talkative and wanting to be the centre of attention as it is a vulgar trait. Allah does not like those who are boastful and show off etc.

    You can't please everyone and we're not hear to do that. So behave in a way that is pleasing to Allah instead. There are no guarantees in life, eg having a wonderful husband. Remember the best of people have the hardest trials ie The Prophets, namely Muhammad SAW.

    If you behave respectfully then you will be respected and remember there will always be an unpleasant person along the way. Just take the rough with the smooth and take in in your stride. Do not obsess about husbands and concentrate on your education. Everyone has an appointed time.

    • @Rashida I recommend not to get carried away with being too talkative and wanting to be the centre of attention as it is a vulgar trait. Allah does not like those who are boastful and show off etc

      I COULDN'T AGREE MORE. People need to follow this message and learn something from it.

  4. I seriously know how you FEEL.

    One thing I will share with you from my experience is that PEOPLE who bully you are often lacking confidence themselves making you an easy TARGET. People envy to be like you and that's something they will NEVER get from you. You need to be positive and keep trust in Allah.

    From my own experience people are people's WORSE enemy. You cannot TRUST anyone, jealousy is also spreading like a disease. Trust only Allah and you will see good happening for you for the better inshAllah.

    For emotional stability look on positive side of things of what Allah has given you and if you feel a down day say ULHUMDILALLAH I have everything and DO NOT GET EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO PEOPLE, as they will only hurt you.

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