Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I’m 17 and I want to stop gossiping and getting angry

Love for Allah's sake


My name is Serene and I'm 17 years old and want to become a better person throughout this Ramadan inshallah. I want to stop talking bad about people, and I want to stop getting mad really fast.

I turned to Allah and asked Him about this, and alhamdillah I'm seeing changes and people also have pointed it out. But I want to dramatically change in that I want to be have a stronger iman, stop talking about people, be kind and nice, and also have everyone and Allah love and respect me.

Also I need help to stop worrying, because everything I do and what I tell people I have to go through in my head to make sure I didn't offend anyone and it bothers me sooooo much. You have no idea how I'm trying to be a better person. You know what they say- good people are for good people and bad people are for bad people. Can you please help me with a Dua I can say or any other things I can do to become a better person and stop worrying please?


Tagged as: , , , ,

5 Responses »

  1. Dear Serene

    It is good to learn that you wish to improve yourself (amazingly at such young age - masha-allah) but you must know that perfection does not come over night- it can take days to months to years , in short you life time. As we grow, we learn things and keep on improving yourself. this process runs till your death.

    If you try to adapt too many good changes/things at the same time but it mostly result in failures.So, if you want to change yourself for better from all aspects then you have adept to such changes gradually , so they can be life long ones. Patience is the key 🙂

    You must recite Aytal Kursi every morning and before going to bed and also after each prayer.

    you can also recite 'Astaghfirullah" as many times as possible which would help you to control your tongue from gossping/back biting.

    if you feel anxiety or restless then reciting Al Quddoos hundred times a day will surely help. Recitation of Al Badi 70 times a day saves from problems.

    You must learn about 99 names of Allah (Swt) with their meaning and can earn benefits from them.

    You must offer daily 5 times prayers without miss and experience how peaceful your life become.

    If you serve your parents to your best capacity, it will bring you utmost joy and happiness. For example, right now if you study harder and perform good in marks, it will please your parents.

    Be good to people in general, remember one thing, it is always easy to think negative but to think positive is an attribute of strong and wise people. Try to think positive and learn lessons from whatever bad that happen.

    Try to learn more about daily duas/Islam (which are easily available on net) and recite holy Quran preferably daily and with meaning to have insight about life and hereafter and feel how your life turns out to be so good.

    may Allah (swt) guide you. Ameen

    At the end, I would like to Quote this

    Saying of Prophet Muhammed :saw: about anger

    Allah's Messenger :saw: Said : a Muslim is never allowed to stay angry with his Muslim brother over three day's , because he who does that, then dies will go to hell (FIRE) . (This is reported by Abu Dawood) (Sahih Al-Jami').

    The messenger of Allah ( Prophet Muhammad :saw: ) said about anger :
    Anger is the effect of satan and satan was created from fire. And water extinguishes fire.
    It is narrated in Bukhari that two people were arguing in the presence of Rasulullah :saw: One of the two became so angry that his face went red and his veins swelled. Rasulullah :saw: Lifted his face towards that person and said to him that I know a sentence if you were to say it your anger will go away.
    The sentence is ( taa’wud ) : “I SEEK ALLAH'S PROTECTION FROM THE CURSED DEVIL"
    The translation is as follows: A'udu bi Allah mina ashaytani arrajime.

    'If a suggestion from satan assail thy (mind), seek refuge with Allah; for He heareth and knoweth (all things).'
    Sourate N°7 The Elevated Place (al-a'rafe) Aya n°200

    Our beloved Prophet :saw: gave us a prescription that makes us control our negative behavior. By using it, we will not show our anger and madness . Our blood pressure will stay normal. All what it takes is that a person has to read the following statement at the time of anger and wrath :
    A'udu bi Allah mina ashaytani arrajime

    It has been narrated by Abu Huraira (May Allah be pleased with him) That Allah's Messenger Muhammad :saw: Said:
    “The strong is not the one who over comes the people by his strength. But the strong is the one who controls him while in anger."
    In another narration by Abu Huraira (May Allah be pleased with him man said to the Prophet Muhammad :saw: Advise me.
    The Prophet Muhammad :saw: Said :
    "Do not become angry“
    The man asked the same question again and again and the Prophet Muhammad :saw: Replied by in case by saying:
    “Do not become angry and furious”

  2. Walaikum salam wrwb,
    First and foremost, it's really admirable and refreshing to see a young sister trying to improve herself, may Allah reward you immensely and help you achieve your long and short term goals. In addition to wonderful advice disposed by sister "Repenter Muslimah"; I would like to share a few article which might help you achieve taqwa and become a better person all around iA.

    I hope and pray that you will find these article and website helpful and may Allah (swt) make us all better Muslims and human beings to all the living beings, not just humans/other Muslims around us. Amin

    Muhammad1982,, Editor.

  3. Walaikum salam,

    I must say, that when I was reading your post, it was as if your words are coming out of my own mouth. I'm 17 too, and no kidding... what you said about worrying too much, trying to stop backbiting, are exactly my goals too. And I too, focus on what the Qu'ran says about how good women are for good men, and bad women are for bad men (this is not the exact wording, but the general idea as far as I know).
    You say that you want to improve and become better, and I honestly think that you've made the first and most important step already; realizing what habits you need to change.
    Definitely, "A Repenter Muslimah" has given great advice. It's severely important to keep up a perfect track record of prayers and reciting the Qu'ran daily, while understanding it as well.
    I find that what helps me control my anger and stress is morning and evening Dhikr. This "Zawaj" website itself as a great amount of content on it regarding Duas and Dhikr, just kindly see overhead website menu.
    As for backbiting (talking bad things about people), what I did was Google "backbiting in Islam". Just by reading what Islam's rules and punishments about it are, encouraged me to stop.
    I hope and pray that you will achieve all your goals in sha Allah.

  4. Make a deal with ur self think before u talk.. and always do tauba fr when u do it.


    when u get angry n remember stop sit away..if u give in to anger once then u give in again and again n u get angrier easier.
    and dnt process thing in ur head which cn get u angry.

  5. La Hawla wa laa quwwata ill billah al aliyy al atheem should be recited when you become angry. and you should drink water. If you are standing you should sit, if you are sitting you should lie down. Recently I found that pinching the tip of my nose really hard releases anger.

Leave a Response