Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I love her and want to marry her but she is engaged, please help

boyfriend girlfriend

I love someone but she likes me a lot. She can't love me because she is engaged but I can't live without her. I've some family problems like my father and mom got divorced when I was kid but she said she doesn't care about these things. She likes me a lot and she talks with me a lot but she always keep saying she can't marry me and she can't be my life partner. I need her all time to stay with me. I love her very very much. Pleases tell me what can I do? Please tell me how can I get her?

Asiful assi

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12 Responses »

  1. Salaams,

    If she is engaged to be married you should leave her alone. It may be difficult, but it only shows disrespect to her and her future husband to keep trying to contact her and petition her to be with you instead. If you are truly feeling that you "need her" and can't be without her then know this: Allah is the One Who has given you life. He can take your life again if He wishes, and you will meet Him again at your appointed time. Your existence is not about any girl, even the one you may end up marrying some day. Your existence is about fulfilling your duty to Allah through ibadah. His rights upon you supercede any transient feelings about another female, so I suggest you invest your time and energy into doing the things that will bring His nearness to you, please Him, and satisfy you in ways this dunya cannot.

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. Dear Brother,

    Sometimes if you love someone, the biggest act of love is to let them go.

    It may hurt, but there are reasons in life that things just dont work out. Make dua that Allah will help you through this difficult time for you, and may he open other doors for you- and may you love someone who loves you back and can actually be with you.

    And it hurts right now- but you can and you will be okay without her. Just trust that Allah is all knowing and wise and will bring good things closer to you and take away what is not meant to happen..

    As well, something to think about brother, is why would she invest in a relationship if she knows she cannot be with you?

    This is why Allah warns us about talking to non-mahram women-be very careful. Look for a partner in a halal way. Talk to a woman who is open with her parents and will tell them about you , and is serious about a commitment. Not just someone is going to play games with your heart.

    I attached a list of dua below- these really help me when i am feeling like i cant go on.

    http://www.makedua.com/display_dua.php?sectionid=34

    Hope it helps.

    Samira

    • samira what a kind and beautiful reply.may Allah reward you for it.

      brother asif,
      a lot of us has been through what you are experiencing. one thing is for sure and just take the word.... you will move on and it will get better no matter how impossible it seems.

      when you feel very low and thoughts like may if i do this , may be if a say this , may be if i speak to x-y-z come to your mind just say that everything happens by the wil of Allah. we may think that something is good for us but it may be bad for us, and we may think that something is bad for us but it is actually good for us, Allah knows and we dont. Allah loves you and will not take away from you that is good for you but if it is not god for you it will not hand over to you either.

      love is a strange thing brother, we think that we cannot live without our loved one but we all live and manage to find a way of happiness. when the heart is tremblimg and cannot find rest .... Allah knows our condition thats why he has told us in quran, verily in remembrance of Allah do hearts find peace.

      we all have turned to Allah to find the peace that he has promised. the more you seek , the more find it.

      last thing, if you have expressed your feelings to her and she has chosen to be with someone else , then the answert is cleaqr that she doesnt love you. dont let her play games with you that she likes you etc. just move away from her.

      May Allah grant you a spouse that becomes coolness of your eyes and you dwell in peace and tranquality with her here and the hereafter. may that spouse become a way to Jannah for you. ameen.

  3. Assalma Alekum wa Rahmatullahi Barkatohu,

    Sorry for add my comments in this post but right now i am in worst condition and dont know what to do see my post link as follows.

    http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/we-love-each-other/

    • Misterx,

      Please refrain from posting this comment on other people's posts. If you want to make a comment regarding your situation, you can so so on your own post. All other comments will be deleted.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • SisterZ,

        i dont want to disturb you

        i am try to find a way

        i am try to do many things to sort out my problem and shukra Allahmdullilaah
        not doing any kind of shirk kufr and gunaah.

        but still i dont know what i have to do i dont know how to express my situation.
        sorry once again.

  4. why did she get engaged to someone else if she likes u?? its something to think about brother. anyway, haram relationships should be avoided, and in shaa Allaah u wont be left so confused and frustrated.

    tell her u do not want any further haram relationship, and u want to know if it is okay for u to ask for her hand. if she wants to marry you, then go to her wali and see what happens, if they agree amongst themselves for things to change, though i doubt that it will, then okay, if not, then move one brother. its hard but in shaa Allaah, as the others have said, ull be okay, just keep praying and remembering Allaah.

  5. Salam,

    I just want to ask if...

    (Remainder of question. Please log in and submit your question as a separate post. Thank you, IslamicAnswers.com Editor)

  6. Salam I am suffering the same... Please everyone do dua for me jzakALLAH

  7. Asalam walikum ..before few weeks a girl met me in social web site
    And she is relegious girl and wetslk many time than she come very
    Close to me and i feel i am fall in love with her and dhe also love me
    i told my family that
    I wana marry this girl they said ok tell us where they live.we will
    Go and ask her hand for u i was so happy but when i told her that
    My parents comming to ur house she said no i asked why she said
    I am engaged i say what are u talking she said i am sory and she
    Cried and say i was engaged but when i see ur pictures and talk to
    U then i also fall in love with u .and she said plz dont leave me i love
    Love not my husband now we are still in talking but dont know what to
    Do.so my advise to u brothers is ur not alone in the world their are many
    People like u and me which are badly in hard situation ok

  8. Moral of the story: Don't "fall in love" with your internet friend.

  9. Assamulaikum I waited for a girl without letting her know for about 3 years and then one final day we were in contact with each i directly told her that I want to marry her and she said yes and after 5 months she got engaged and I was left alone again I asked her from Allah not from anyone else luckily that engagement was broke and then again she came back we started talking to each other I spoke to my family about this and my family said yes after 4 years now she say that she don't want to marry me it's been 7 years now I can't even express how depressed I am i know this is wrong but then my only intensions was to marry and she also accepted me but now few days ago all of sudden she say she doesn't want to marry me and blocked me from everywhere I am so hurt I am again asking to her from Allah my parents are agreed and I know if my parents walk at her place I am sure that her parents will say yes to me but I am concerned that she is not ready now I am broke I don't know why I am completely lost i am not able to concentrate on anything I need your opinion on this please ?.

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