Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I want to marry a girl but her parents don’t agree to our marriage.

Pre-marital/extra-marital relationships are haram in Islam

Assalam O Alaikum,

I am in a relationship with a girl from 3 years. She is a very nice, religious girl. She always wants everyone to be happy. Thats why she is with me just to  make me smile because I was very disturbed as my mother was suffering from brain tumour. She just want to bring some happiness in my life; as the time passes we chat, messages, and meet regularly. We started loving and caring for each other, we feel bad  and something missing when we don't talk or meet. I felt all my happiness is attached with her as she is a very nice girl a good human being. One day we got physical. she is very religious ,praying 5 times a day and read Quran and pray God for our marriage but I am not religious and don't have much belief that Allah can do anything. She asked me every time we met to pray and to make dua for our marriage. She is not of my cast, she is beautiful but I think I am not. She doesn't go for the looks of person. that's why I like her. My parents are happy and are ready for our marriage but when she informed her family ,they wanted to see me and meet me.

One day I went to her parents' house, they spoke to me very nicely but haven't given any desicion at that time. Next day her parents told her that I not of same caste and not good looking. I am a student of engineering . I told her mother that I can change my personality as you want. I can do anything to get married to her daughter. I was very depressed and feeling upset as they rejected me due to my colour and caste. Even I told them; I can improve that insha Allah but her parents didn't agree. We love each other a lot; feeling very bad now as nothing left in this world to smile; I can't concentrate on my studies. I want to marry that girl, I know we did a very big sin but we love each other and care for each other. She loves her family also, that's why she agreed to her parent's decision and I respect her decision but the trouble is that I can't concentrate on anything now. I felt her everywhere, I committed a sin and want to say sorry to Allah. I heard somewhere that  Allah (swt) forgives our sins if we sincerely repent. I repent wholeheartedly and offer prayer, I try to avoid indulging into any sinful act. She changed my life completely.

I want to marry her because of two reasons; first is that I like her very much, she helped me to become a good person, she is unique and second reason is that we got physical. Can Allah forgive our sin? is there anyway to get married to her? Can Allah help us in that, I heard somewhere that if we make dua sincerely from heart then Allah (swt) forgives us, he even changes the destiny, and changes the state of heart. Is there any way Allah (swt) could change her parents heart and minds? so that they allow our marriage. I am in deep trouble these days, don't know what to do? Please help me. I can do anything for her; I can improve my colour,take my career in good way. I pray, read Quran and pray to Allah to forgive my sins and help me in getting married with her. Is it possible. Can Allah help us?

Please tell me.



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2 Responses »

  1. Salaams,

    Yes, Allah can and will forgive the sins you have committed if you truly repent. As you have probably seen on this site, you are not the first to be in this situation, nor are you likely to be the last. If you have repented and are now focused on your deen, you can be assured that Allah forgives even the worst of sins. If you want to keep praying for Him to give you this girl in marriage, that's fine; but be prepared that the answer may still be "no" and continue to keep your options open with other young ladies (in a halal way, of course!).

    The truth is, her parents made a decision and she is abiding by it. Don't pester her or her parents about changing their minds, as this might make them less likely to ever consider you as a choice. I am willing to bet that most parents will be impressed if you respectfully distance yourself from their daughter and try to move on with you life. Chances are, if she cares for you she is not giving up trying to get them to look at you differently. Let her try to work with her parents, and you stay focused on being the best person you can be and the best future husband and provider you can be, regardless of who will become your wife one day Insha'Allah. Whatever Allah wills, comes to pass.

    -Amy Editor

  2. Marry her dude ..she is made for you.. Family would agree after some time ...

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