Islamic marriage advice and family advice

He wants me to run away with him

Walking away, running away, hiking

"He wants me to run away with him."

Asalamualaikum,

I know what I have done is haram, I am in a relationship with this guy who has been nothing but nice and sincere to me he has always been there for me when I need him, he is the one for me, we have strong feelings towards each other. I really want to get married to him.

I told my mum about this boy I met and she has agreed all she wants is for his parents to come to my house. It has been a week now and within this time he has spoken to his dad, however his dad reacted negatively towards him which led him walking out of home. His father said to him 'if you want a love marriage then go away from home just get out'.

So he left all his belongings and now is living with his cousin, aunties uncles and grandad. Now he's saying he can't live without me and wants me to run away from home, is this right?

I need advice anything will help thankss x

- anonympus

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4 Responses »

  1. Dear Sister,

    You yourself say that you are aware that you have been doing haraam by being in a relationship with this guy. So how can it be right for you to run away with him? You need to repent for the times you have spent sinning with this guy and neglecting your relationship with Allah. If you run away, you will:

    - displease Allah even more greatly that you have done so far by being with a non mahram in a haraam way
    - hurt your parents extremely there by displeasing Allah again
    - dishonour yourself
    - dishonour your family
    - gain nothing but a very very very short lived pleasure and lots of sins. Quickly enough, that short lived pleasure will turn to bitter pain, hatred, shame, guilt, regret, loss of eemaan.
    - lose out majorly, as you will incur sin and punishment in this life and the next.

    If, on the hand you remain patient, do tawbah and remind/warn yourself of the great sins you will be incurring and remind/warn yourself of the punishment in the this life and the next, hopefully you will calm yourself. Hopefully, your lust and desires will have less control over your brain and thought process.

    - Be patient, do tawbah and turn to Allah wholeheartedly;
    - Tell this man that you no longer wish to commit sin, but you will wait for him if he goes about things the right way, warn him of the punishments;
    - Tell him to be patient with his family and try to win them over;
    - Tell him that running away is childish and cowardly and you as a Muslimah cannot marry without permission from your wali - your father;
    - Tell him to step and be a man, if he is a real man he will do all he can to patiently convince his parents;
    - If he does not feel regret and do tawbah for his sins, I would personally suggest you think carefully about whether this man is the kind of husband you actually want. The person you select to marry, should be of good deen and character.

    Best Wishes,

    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. Dear Sister,

    Do not run away. You have a family that cares for you. He is being supported by relatives, and cannot support himself. Where on earth will you two run off to before you hit a bump? Why do you risk your future for a chance that is not even 50-50? If he loves you, he will know that love is patient and will wait and respect you if you stay with your family until both of you can be stable to have a proper marriage.

    I hope everything works out for the better insha'Allah. Insha'Allah his father comes around.

    Love,

    Anonymous

  3. Sister.

    Just arrange a Nikkah with that man and get married,Who are we in question to say that he will not able to support his marriage with you or look after you,Have faith in God and get married,As far as parents are concerned,they will be fine with the matter of time.Love is God gift and can't find easily.God is our creator and will look after you and your family.Have strength and move forward and make sure you have blessing of your parents,
    regards.
    Allah knows better.

  4. dear siis salaam alkum i can understand wat u going thriugh coz i went through it but u need 2 try harder n harder 4 alah 2 help u i went through wat u r in now 1 yr ago wen i told maa family about da man i luv they refuced him coz he wasnt from da family me n maa husnnd tryed till we got enough n wat i did was i ran out of da house n got married 2 him n noooo 1 can tell me ma marrige iz haram coz i had a wtiness even though i called maa mum 2 giv them the last chance anyway they exploted it n now i'm married 2 myy loved 1 i hav a beatiful bby gril alahmdulah i'm happy soo siis dont run i dont sejest u that keep on trying iz dat best over all they are ur family they wat da best 4 u n ask alh 2 help u n if he iz wrght 4 u noo 1 can tak him over u salaam

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