She wants to leave because of the dog
Hello and thank you in advance for any advice given!
I am seeking advice in regards to a relationship between myself (a non-religious man) and a Muslim woman. She and I have been talking for some time now, and have grown rather fond of each other. At this point in our relationship my feelings for her are very strong, I love this woman. In return, I believe her feelings are the same for me.
However, our relationship has hit an impasse. I myself am not a religious person, though I respect everyone's right to believe and follow their religion. She has recently informed me that she and I can not continue our relationship in any serious manner because I have a small dog that I keep as a pet, stating that it is not allowed in her religion. I was unaware of this, but as this is the case, I am wondering what can be done for us.
As I said, I love this woman with all my heart, and wish to spend my days with her. However, I have a son from a previous marriage. The dog in question belongs to my son, and it would devastate him to lose it. He has had this dog since an infant, and they grew up together. The dog is a small breed, and not suited to live outside the house. It is well trained, sleeps in its own area (a large pillow meant for it). It is house trained, clean, and free of parasites. It is loyal and protective of my son, guards him and warns me when someone approaches my son or my house. My son lives with his mother, but is not old enough to take responsibility for the animal or I would send it home with him.
I do not wish to lose this woman, but I am not sure what can be done. The last she and I spoke of this, she seemed pretty set on the fact that there is nothing to be done, and that this is where we must end. I am not ready to give up yet, and I hope and pray that there is a way. Again, thank you so much for any advice.
With all respect,
Jjacobs6
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Salam my friend,
Are you sure that the main reason for what your partner want to leave is your dog?
Good luck,
Silver99
Salaams,
I suspect this woman is using the dog as an excuse to break the relationship with you, even though there is some factual basis for her claims. The ultimate issue here is that she is violating her religion more by having a relationship with a man outside of marriage. That is strictly prohibited in Islam, for men and women. On top of that, muslim women may only marry muslim men. Since you describe yourself as a non-religious man, a marriage with her wouldn't be valid for her at all.
As far as the dog is concerned, Islam holds the view that the saliva of a dog is a type of "filth" (najas). Other types of filth include vomit, excrement/urine, blood, and semen. Najas is to be avoided by muslims, so any time it gets on something that a Muslim wears or uses in a daily fashion (like plates or furniture), the "contaminated" object must be washed immediately. I'm sure you can see how onerous it would be for a muslim who is keeping a dog in the home to ensure everything is kept clean from it's saliva. If a muslim prays in clothes that has najas on them, the prayers are invalidated, which is a highly important issue for practicing muslims. I couldn't blame her for not wanting to marry you even if this were the only reason.
Not only that, there are hadith that mention the fact that angels refuse to enter homes where dogs are kept. This undercuts divine protection that Muslims may otherwise have. But, having said all this, there actually is no prohibition against a Muslim keeping a dog for the specific purpose of protection, if needed. In those cases, however, the dog would need to be kept outside, and it's najas would still need to be cleaned as indicated. In your case, the breed and size of dog you have is not the type of dog one would normally use for protection of a family, as compared to a breed like a pit bull or doberman.
I understand that the dog is the pet of your son. Considering that you are a non-Muslim and should prepare yourself to end this relationship with her based on that aspect alone, I wouldn't advise you to try getting rid of the dog per se. If you are seriously considering converting, by chance, then the best solution I think would be to let the dog stay with his mother and have her teach him how to take care of it properly. I'm sure she would make sure it's fed and taken out if he happens to overlook that.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
well said.
Talk to her and tell her that dog belongs to the little kid
Dog is just an excuse. She can accept a non-religious Man but not a dog. She is not even supposed to be developing relationships online/offline. She probably met another guy.
Salams SVS,
Please stop making assumptions. She made a mistake but she realized in time Alhamdullilah whatever the reason (dog or being in relationship with a non-Muslim man). Please don't make generalizations or your comments will be deleted in future.
Muhammad1982,
IslamicAnswers.com, Editor.
Salam SVS,
WE (you, me, anyone ) have our weakness and we're not able to condemning peoples at all. She did a relationship with this "non-religious man",( i will call him brother Jjacob to see him as a person and not only as a statut) because of multiples reason as love etc... If she realized that it was a mistake (from the islamic point of view) then Alhamdullilah for her and brother Jjacob because in the end it will cost a lot for both of them.
Whatever, i think that it is flagrant that using the dog is an excuse to leave, she probably should be more sincere on this point.
Salam
Silver99
Amy has given a cogent answer. Just to add on it. Dog has been mentioned twice in the Quran. In the first place it is an analogy where the nature of man is compared with the panting of the dog.
So his example is like that of the dog: if you chase him, he pants, or if you leave him, he [still] pants. That is the example of the people who denied Our signs. So relate the stories that perhaps they will give thought.(7:176)
In the 18th Chapter, the dog is part of a young clique who abandoned the world to safeguard their religion. They were put to sleep for 309 lunar years and 300 solar years.
And you would think them awake, while they were asleep. And We turned them to the right and to the left, while their dog stretched his forelegs at the entrance. If you had looked at them, you would have turned from them in flight and been filled by them with terror.(18:18)
The Dog is their in the Quran and part of an important story. At no point one can infer that keeping Dog is against the religion. I'm afraid your friend is ill informed. Yes, there are hadiths which prohibit keeping a dog as they deter angels, however, they can be considered weak as it is against the divine injunction of the Quran.
Majority of the scholars are of the opinion that keeping the Dog is fine, however, it is suitable if it's kept in the outer perimeter of the house. Also, regarding its saliva, Prophet Muhammad (peace be on him) advised that the utensil from which a dog drinks water should be cleaned 7 times as later by scientific research has been found that germs and bacteria can purged if it's rigorously cleaned for 7 times.
I would not like to extrapolate why this girl has used such an irrational and ludicrous argument to cut ties from you, then I guess it doesn't leave much for argument
OK. I follow Maliki fiqh, and every living thing is pure, it's saliva and tears. If a dog's saliva were not pure, how could we eat an animal a hunting dog caught or retrieved for us?
Salaam everyone,
I been married to my husband who is Muslim over 6 years and he has 2 dogs which he said he will keep outside once we get married but so far the dogs are still in the house. He has thrown me out of the house for the dogs couple of times. So long story short please don't start something you can't finish because end of the day no one will be happy. And please don't change your religion just because you're in love with some but change it because you believe in Islam. Good luck
assalamu alaikum
im sorry poster she is just using as excuse. Dogs carry hardly any disease that can transfer to humans but guess what cats carry toxoplasmosis and all types of disease that is easier to transfer.they are JUST as dirty.
i guess i am sensitive to the subject because i was raised with dogs as to guard our home and they were great protection better than an alarm system.
i think it is more than that involved for her. Dont give away your dog as you should never compromise what you stand for to someone who is willing to leave you just like that.