Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Wazifa for making his mother agree for me and making our love stronger

Where is the love?

Assalaamualaikum I am a girl and I met a guy and we were from same class, we both were in relationship with different person but after it went wrong we both have faced breakup with the one we both loved. Now its been 2 years we both are in a relationship and we both are so happy and we were having serious relationship which will happen after marriage we had it earlier - I mean physical relationship.

Now he is going abroad for career and now when he spoke with his mother for us she denied. She told that if he do something like this then the love she do with him more than that she will hate him. He too wants us, he too loves me. He is also getting hurt, he just can't do anything because he is scared of his mother. He would end but he can't go against his mother as his mother did same with the relationship he was having earlier.

I want help. As we had intercourse and don't want this to be sin, further we both have same intention for getting married. I want that to be strong. Just because of his mother he wants to end.

Can you help me in this so that we could be together and his mother gives agreement for me. We both have time, he want to make career first for which he want time for 2-3 yrs, I too have time. Till that I want him to be strong and after 2 years his mother should agreee for our marriage. Help me please. My parents won't be having problem to accept him but his mother will be having issue related to our relation. I met her, she is really nice, she talks to me very well, she likes me too but why she don't want to accept me as her son's wife, I don't know.

I want someone to help me in this situation. I am planning to talk to him and say to him do as his mother says and after making his career then talk to her for us. So is there is something that I can make my love more stronger between us and his mother should agree for us? Please. I need help, I can't even think about anyone else, neither I can marry someone else. Please help me please.

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3 Responses »

  1. Assalaamualaikam

    Please read the articles on this website about wazifa and dua.

    Premarital romantic or sexual relationships aren't acceptable in Islam. If this guy wanted to be with you in a halal relationship, he could have approached your wali with a proposal - the fact that he's been perfectly content to engage in a haram relationship with you isn't exactly a good endorsement of his character. He doesn't actually have to seek the permission of his mother to marry (although it is of course a lot nicer for everyone to be in agreement), so if he truly wanted to be with you, he could be... I'd be concerned that he could be using his mother's opinion (if that's actually her opinion) as an excuse to break things off.

    You mention that the two of you had intercourse and don't want this to be a sin. However, premarital sex isn't permitted Islamically - regardless of whether the people involved go on to get married. You both need to repent and ensure that you don't repeat the sin.

    I would suggest that you stop dating this guy, and inform him that if he wishes to be with you, he needs to approach your family with a proposal. There's no reason why you couldn't have a simple nikah now and then complete your studies. If he agrees, great. If he doesn't, then say Alhamdulillah that you are no longer involved with someone who only wanted a haram relationship.

    Midnightmoon editor

  2. Assalamu-alaikum sister, I seek forgiveness in Allah, for the mistakes I make in replying to you for I do not the Aadab of replying to someones query. And may Allah guide us all to the right path and the one that results in the best of this duniya and the akhirah, ofcourse.
    Allah says in the Quran, "Do not even go near fornication (zinaah) for it is a indecent flung and a very evil way." So the scholars say that for all other evil acts Allah prohibits from doing them. But in the case of zina, he prohibits us from approaching it. Right after this Ayah, Allah mentions about the physical murder, but it is the spiritual murder (zina) that is mentioned first. It is'nt justified in anyway, to have intercourse with a person you love and have an intention an intention to marry to. On our part it is necessary for us to prudently be away from the smaller acts that eventually lead to zina. As a muslimah, I must know what pleases Allah and what displeases Allah and act accordingly from the beginning. Understand the maqsah of coming to duniya, read about the prophet (s.a.w) and the sahabah, develop a love for them, and try to know what actually they were most concerned about and inshallah, you will change your priorities in life. When you start living for the cause of Allah, only then you are going find an inner peace and everything else in this duniya is meant to distract you and kill your inner peace. As far as your obsession for this guy, if it were'nt in your fate to marry him, then how are you going spend life after that, for Allah chooses and brings out what is good for us. I have personally seen that only those couples who love each other in order to please Allah, lead a happy and satisfactory married life. As a muslimah, my choice of selecting a guy should be such that i should be marry a person who places the commandments of Allah and his prophet(s.a.w) on top of everything. Believe it or not, only such person will succeed in loving u the way a women needs to be loved. I wish you could marry the person you want to. But I honestly want to tell you to seek help from Allah and ask Allah to give you what is best for you. Neither you nor I can tell what is good for you. I cannot predict what is good for me in the future. I might end up making decisions that may prove fatal for me. As a last advice, I would tell you to start repenting for your actions before Allah, for Allah loves those who repent and blesses them with his neamah's in the dunia itself. And in akhirah, he has prepared for us the neamahs that no eyes have seen and no ears have heard about. The pleasure of this duniya is little, but the pleasure of the akhirah, is unimaginably unending. And according to sayings of Allah and his prophet (s.a.w), each of us are sinners except those who repent. So keep reciting this Dua, "ALLAHUMMA MAGHFIRATUKA AUSA-O MIN ZUNOOBI WA RAHMATUKA ARJAA INDEE MIN AMALI"
    "O Allah! The extent of Thy forgiveness is far wider as compared to my sins and the extent of Thy mercy is a matter of greater hope for me than my deed."
    And please be a little careful, for if the guy is as obsessive about you the way you are, it may create hatredness in his heart for his own mother more than anything else in this world. And if this happens this will surely displease Allah. Remember you do not love him, the way his mother loves him. No one can denie this fact. All I want you tell is keep giving the marriage proposal, but dont get mad and obsessive for this.
    Jazakallahu khair.

  3. And if it is not astonishing to you, then I'd tell you to ask him to make arrangements of nikah right away, for if there's a huge risk of having this disgraceful intercourse for the second time. His mother is not ready. She says things like she ll not accept him as a son, if he marries you. But did u ever give a thought that in spite of all this he meets you and talks to you, since you are more pleasing to him, and then eventually has an intercourse with you, and if death prevails in this state, how is one going to face Allah? Pleasing Allah and not displeasing him by any shameful act is the need of the hour. Its much more important than pleasing one's mother. Allah deserves an attention farther more than a mother. Since you both ve caught yourself in a situation like this by getting into a relationship, then you both must make arrangements for nikah at the earliest. That will be more pleasing to Allah and wisdom lies in it. Wisdom is in prudence. And beleive me, his mother may resist and even try to disown him, but very sooner she shall realise that all is for good and soon accept both of you, inshallah. All depends on how he convinces his mother and how much efforts he puts in dua, bearing the harsh words probably. According to a hadith when something is done to please Allah and it in effect displeases the people, within no matter of time, it would please the people also . On the contrary, if any of our actions pleases the people but displeases Allah, within no matter of time it would also displease the people. So just focus on pleasing Allah. And remember nikah is no hindrance to one's career. He can pursue his career, being in the state of nikah (my brothers wife is still pursuin her career). Befor taking any action address your issue to the most virtuos and pious scholar you trust in and see what he says.
    Jazakallahu khair.

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