Dua/Wazifa to sort out horrible mess created by my husband and in-laws.
Dua.
Asak,
I have been married for the past 1.6 yrs and presently expecting. My issue first is my in-laws, and my husband too. Ours was an arranged marriage. I belong to an upper middle class family, and my husband is from a lower middle class family. I overlooked this fact and married because he was religious and decent, and the fact that his parents are old they will treat me like a daughter. They wanted a D-in-Law who is willing to work. I was ok with this point, and my husband refused to take any dowry from us which made me even more happy. Soon after marriage things changed to worse, and I got to know that THEY were financially very weak.
Nothing changed in my heart towards them, and I willingly started accepting everything and approached everything with a clean heart. It's only me, my husband and in laws. His elder brother shifted downstairs just before my marriage. My in laws started forcing me to get a job and told me that if I stay at home they will remove the servant and I will need to do the whole house work.
I a job and after 2 months of marriage I got to know that I had conceived. I was very happy and told my husband, but he gave me the most shocking reaction of my life and wanted me to abort it. I explained to him islamically that a child will only make our life better in everything possible, but all went in vain and he didn't even allow me to break the news to anyone.
I left the job silently, aborted the baby and would always cry. I started getting depressed, and this made my in laws think I was arrogant. His elder brother and his wife are workaholics and nothing actually affects them, and they stopped supporting my in laws financially. I started feeling alone with no one to talk to or share my feelings. My feelings for my husband were half dead by now.
Soon I gathered hope and started my job AND STARTED SUPPORTING MY HUSBAND WHO HAD JUST QUIT HIS JOB. I wished not to have a child for 4 years at least. I have seen my in laws tell stuff to my husband against me. He doesn't even allow me to visit my home.
HE QUIT HIS JOB LAST RAMADHAN, AND SINCE THEN HE IS NOT ABLE TO FIND ANY JOB. DUE TO THIS MY IN LAWS HAVE STARTED TREATING ME ILL IN MY HUSBANDS ABSENCE BUT REMAIN SWEET TO HIM. I AM NOW 4 MONTHS PREGNANT AND MY HUSBAND WANTED ME TO ABORT THIS ONE TOO- ANOTHER SHOCK OF MY LIFE. MY QUESTION IS WHY DO MY IN LAWS TELL ME THAT SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THE MARRIAGE, THEIR HOUSE HAS BECOME HELL AND DEPRIVED OF ANY JOY OR MONEY? THEY HAVE POISONED MY HUSBAND'S MIND TO SUCH AN EXTENT THAT HE HAS BECOME HEARTLESS NOW AND DOESN'T CARE FOR MY HEALTH.
HE JUST WANTS ME TO DO THE HOUSEHOLD WORK AND LOOK AFTER HIS PARENTS. WHEN I SHARE ANY SYMPTOMS OF PREGNANCY WITH HIM, HE JUSt DISHEARTENINGLY TELLS ME HOW MANY DISEASES I HAVE. I DON'T UNDERSTAND, HOW CAN A PERSON WHO SEEMED SO CARING BECOME SUCH A DISHEARTENED MAN? HE HAS NO CAREER SERIOUSNESS, HE JUST THINKS OF EVERY ISSUE IN A MONETARY WAYBUT DOESN'T WORK HARD TO FULFILL THE MONETARY NEEDS. HE IS JUST BUSY VISITING RELATIVES, ATTENDING MARRIAGES AND FRIENDS GETTING TOGETHER. I HAVE TOLD HIM HOW HIS PARENTS TREAT ME WHEN HE IS NOT AT HOME, BUT HE DOESN'T REACT TO MY WORDS.
HE DOESN'T EVEN LISTENS TO THE ADVICE MY PARENTS GIVE COZ MY IN LAWS HAVE TOLD HIM TO KEEP MY PARENTS AT DISTANCE. MY FAMILY HAS DONE EVERY POSSIBLE THING TO EDUCATE HIM REGARDING THE SERIOUSNESS OF LIFE. V ARE SURVIVING ON MY IN LAWS PENSION 10k, FOR WHICH MY IN LAWS TAUNT THAT WE ARE EATING FOR FREE LIKE BEGGARS N THAT MY MARRIAGE HAS DESTROYED EVERYTHING. THEY DON'T EVEN REALIZE THAT M EXPECTING. THEY TAUNT ME EVERY TIME. I HAVE EVEN TOLD MY HUSBAND THAT WE WILL SEPARATE FROM HOUSE OR LET HIM DIVORCE ME, SINCE WE ARE NOT IN A POSITION TO FINANCIALLY HANDLE THE GROWING FAMILY N FULFILL IN LAWS NEEDS.
MY HUSBAND DOESN'T CARE. I DON'T KNOW WHATS WRONG WITH HIM. HOW I CAN LEAD MY LIFE IN SUCH A HOUSE? I HAVE BECOME DEPRESSED TO SUCH AN EXTENT THAT I HAVE NO HOPE IN ALLAH FOR ME. I JUST WANT TO END MY LIFE. I WAS LEADING SUCH A NICE LIFE BEFORE MARRIAGE. IS THIS WHAT WAS DESTINED TO ME, SUCH A PATHATIC LIFE? NO MONEY(TO FULFILL BASIC NEEDS), NO CARE, NO LOVE, NO CAPACITY TO GIVE ZAKAT.. NOTHING AT ALL... IF WE ATLEAST SEPERATE FROM MY IN LAWS, MY FATHER WILL HELP ME GET A HOUSE AND WE CAN AT LEAST MANAGE TO FULFILL OUR BASIC NEEDS.
THE MAIN REASON FOR WHICH I MARRIED (THINKING I'M GETTING MARRIED TO A RELIGIOUS FAMILY) HAS PUT ME DOWN.. DID I BLINDFOLD MYSELF? PLEASE SUGGEST TO ME A DUA/WAZIFA TO SOMEHOW CONVINCE MY HUSBAND TO SEPARATE FROM MY IN LAWS AND LEAD A RESPECTFUL LIFE. I DON'T WANT TO TRY BLACK MAGIC LIKE MY IN LAWS.
NEED HELP
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Salaams,
I am not going to advise you to not make dua- in fact I encourage you to make dua as often as you can that Allah will have mercy on you and the baby you are carrying and give you a situation with more ease, by putting compassion in the hearts of your in-laws and husband. I just want to say that even though we make dua, people still have free will to act and treat others any kind of way. No dua is going to override someone's free choice.
And that's what it comes down to- the fact that there are just some cruel, heartless, and careless people in the world. It sounds like your husband is one of them- at least to me it's unfathomable that a man would want to abort his own child TWICE. Clearly all the problems you outlined are significant and should not be ignored. That being said, waiting for your in laws and husband to change on their own when they've been resistant so far is probably going to be a futile effort.
Right now I think you should look at it like this: the baby is the number one priority. It seems like you have a loving and supportive family at home, so maybe it would be better for you to go back to them and take care of your pregnancy. You can tell your husband that you'd be more than willing to move back with him if he is willing to make some needed changes- and list them: getting a job, keeping your in laws out of your personal family with him, allowing you to take care of the baby as you need to, etc etc. Being away from him until your delivery will give him time to think about what his values really are, and try to get back on track in shaa Allah.
If, unfortunately, nothing seems to change in spite of you taking that stand, then at least you'll be in a peaceful place where you can take care of your baby with more security. You can talk to your family about what the best next steps might be at that time, and let them guide you with their wisdom to what's best for you and their grandchild.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I Agree with Sister Amy. after reading your post - it made me so angry that i felt like shooting him in the head. A person who decide to kill his own baby does not deserve mercy.
Like sister said - Do not take any further life. Move with your parents and make a proposal if he's willing to change. getting a job is first priority. It's his responsibility to feed you. Number 2 - he must move out from join living. taking care of parents is vital but living together in situation like this will not help. they may pretend to change for short term but may not be a permanent thing.
and also values - i mean i am still finding hard tolerate a man who can take decision to kill his own child - how much will he change end of the day anyway. I pray for you sister and May Allah Punnish him for his act and guide him to the right path. Sorry it's rude but reading your message - i can't be any softer on him.
😉
It wasn't the husband who killed the baby it was the mother herself why you think he is to blame did she not have a mind of her own
Assalamualaikum Sister,
A child from Allah is the greatest gift you can ever receive. You are right, when a child is born, life does get better because of the happiness the child exudes. Your husband made you abort the first one and now he wants the second to be aborted as well. That is truly shameful because in a marriage, I would want the laughter of children around the house and play with them as well.
It seems that your marriage was solely based on financial needs from what I view of your husband and in-laws.You are doing everything islamically on this marriage while on the other end, nothing is given. I agree with other brothers/sisters that you come first and your unborn child is a priority. In Islam, you are given the right to be treated with justice and equality and you are not given it in this situation. Stay with your parents,make Istikhara, and pray that your husband has learned of his mistakes. If nothing changes, thing about you and your childs security and happiness. Just because your husband will be the father doesn't mean you have to stay with him if he is neglectful, unjust, and using you to the extreme for financial means. I also pray for you sister and may Allah(SWT) guide your husband and in-laws to the right path 😀
You need a break. N dnt abort your kid maybe with kids things will chnge...n telll them its gud news...
U guys mybe take a holiday...u knw
N time to re kindle things dnt let anyone put u offf...
Take sme time out everywrek to go out just u and hubby to try n build a quality relationship again.
Commit time ...
Assalaamualaikam
Congratulations on your pregnancy. A new life is a blessing. Alhamdulillah.
Your child needs to be your first priority now, which means this situation needs to change. It sounds as though you have a supportive family, and I would hope that they would much rather you stay with them rather than continue in such unpleasant circumstances. Maybe explaining to your husband that the situation cannot continue and you are not prepared to endure this treatment any longer, combined with action (going to stay with your family) may inshaAllah cause him to rethink his approach.
Clearly state what needs to change in order for you to remain with him, and make sure that these changes are achievable and measurable - so that you can see for yourself that they are happening. It's easy for someone to say they'll change, but what you need is action, not just words. For example, you might feel he needs to get a job, move out of his parents' house, attend masjid more regularly...
Through it all, remember that you have been entrusted with the child inside you, and give thanks to Allah. I pray you and your child live with happiness and good health, inshaAllah.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
salaam i do agree with others but do not thing negative .your husband might be a good man it seems to me someone must have done black magic on him , if i tell you about my husband he was even worse but after proper he is kindest man on earth.
Hi Sister Tayyaba, I dont know if you still are reading the posts on this forum. I would like you to send me the same remedy you did for your husband on sam.jit2013atgmail.
thanks
I can help you please contact me sister.
tayyaba, we don't allow the exchange of private contact information, sorry.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
But rdgtaph posted her email maybe forgot to delet it!!!
Salam Dear Sister Tayyaba, why dont you post in here what made your husband the best on the earth. I am suffering alot like the sister Asak. That will be the most rewardful deed for you to help sisters like us who are suffering for the greed of husband and in laws :(.
Hi Tayyaba, I have been suffering so much for 15 years. I have 3 daughters. Please help me.
hi sister.i just want to say that u laeve your huby as the situation would not better......................he is not a responsible man...................leave him
Hi...
[Editor's note: Please submit your question as a new post for publication rather than as a comment on an existing post. That way it can be published and answered in turn, inshaAllah.]
http://www.wazifas.com
http://remindersbenefitus.blogspot.com/2013/02/some-duas-when-in-difficulty.html?m=1
I used this for my own personal too and it's all about having faith in Allah.
Just curious have you done any wazifa from that website?
Worth it!!! 🙂