We had met a few times, I love her
Assalam walaikum,
I have read in a few islamic books that a musilm man is allowed to talk to a non mahram woman and show his feelings towards her on the condition that he marries her. I had met a muslim girl whom i had fallen in love with and we met a few times and also talked with each other.
Any advice, please.
-zahed
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Waalaikum salam brother zahed39,
I would like to know more details bro but I can tell you that you need to go through right channel even if you find that she is the right girl. You can't just say "I love you" no matter how many meeting you had with girl in question and your reasoning "to show your feeling toward her if you marry her" is flawed bro. Why? Because you can't express your feeling like this as she isn't your wife yet. It's not a movie scene brother, it's real life and marriage is a life long commitment and should be taken more seriously and dealt with maturely. I would like to know that how you both meet and was her wali (wakeel) present at the time or did you both meet at a public event? Also, I would like to know that what qualities does she have that make her desirable. How is her character, deen, personality? Do you both have shared goals and what you both want from life in general? What are your expectation from a wife and what are her expectations from her husband?
I stress that you should involve parents from sides, so that they can go and ask her hand in a decent way. Remember, this is not the way to meet a girl and make futile conversations and it also reflects upon the fact that how much respect we have for that woman who we see as our future spouse. No matter what you both decide, she cannot marry you without her wali's permission. The reason I am stressing that both of you should involve parents is that parents can see the things which we are often unable to see and understand because our judgements are clouded by our emotions and lust.
So, stop meeting her and pray Salat-ul-istakhara so that you can see that whether you both or compatible or not. Remember bro, if her parents find out that you are both meeting like this then, chances are they won't accept you even if you send your parents. I have seen several cases where parents refused their daughter's hand just because the guy was dating her.
So, speak to your parents and request them to go and ask for her hand ONLY IF YOU ARE CLEAR SHE IS COMPATIBLE AND PARENTS ALSO SEE THAT SHE IS GOOD FOR YOU.
I hope I have helped Insha Allah and if you need further help, please write back and we will try our best to help you Insha Allah.
Wasalam,
Muhammad1982:)
Editor, IslamicAnswers.com
Yes, as brother Muhammad said, if you have feelings toward her and you intend to marry her, then approach her parents properly and make a proposal for marriage.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor