Islamic marriage advice and family advice

We want to get married but his mother won’t agree

Assalamu alaikum ,

I wish you to give me solution to my problem.

There is a guy who has 2 or 3 pages on facebook and keeps posting about Islam. We have never seen each other. We discuss about Islam sometimes when there is doubt on any particular matter. Now we end up liking each other and wishing to have each other as a spouse. We wish this solely for the sake of Allah, so that we both can practice Islam well. We did istekhara and we both felt positive.

My parents said that they will see the guy. The guy's father does not have a problem. The guy's mother did not agree when she got to know that we met on facebook. What do you suggest to do? I am in need of a suggestion. I found you who could give me a proper solution to the problem.

Awaiting for your supportive reply. Jazak Allahu khairan kaseeran for your time.

May Allah bles you and give you success in this life and the HereAfter.

Best regards.


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2 Responses »

  1. Wa Alaikum Salaam Warahmatullahi Wabarakaatuh Sister,

    I do not know how to give you the best answer to solve your problem.

    However, I think if you and your parents met his family and then create a physical relationship for a while before discussing about marriage,,, that would build a trust between the two families.

    I think, his mother is just concerned about you being real or fake, as internet has now become a place for playing games. So, if there is a trust between the two families, it could be easier for his mother to accept you in her heart as a real daughter in-law.

    Hope this helps, InshaAllah.

  2. Assalaamualaikam

    It is understandable that his mother might be cautious and wish to confirm that you are sincere in your intentions; however, you should be able to reassure her regarding this, inshaAllah, by establishing appropriate communications through your families. Once she is able to relate to you as a person rather than "someone from the internet", she will be able to see your good qualities, and inshaAllah her reservations may well lessen.

    If your parents are willing to meet with his, and his father is agreeable, it might help to arrange for the two families to meet in person. That way everyone can start to build relationships and decide if this is the right course of action.

    In the meantime, remember that Islamic guidance on correspondence applies online as well, so ensure that the two of you are following this.

    A word of caution, though: How someone appears on the internet may not be how they truly are. I'd advise spending some time getting to know (in a halal way, of course!) whether his deen and character are admirable in real life prior to making a final decision.

    May Allah guide you to what is best for you in this life and the next.

    Midnightmoon editor

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