Islamic marriage advice and family advice

We’re having problems conceiving a baby

Male infertility disorder

Hi to all..

I am trying to conceive since past 4 years now had a miscarriage in June 2014.

Too stressed and depressed... done with many treatments, medicines every thing...... Checked with my husband's semen count which says it's very less. I don't know what to do, in a very depressed situation. Please help. I do pray namaz and after every farz namaz I pray Surah anbiya...please help.....:(

Simreen

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11 Responses »

  1. salam
    sister try test tube baby
    or your husband may collect his sperm or semen by masturbating 2 or 3 times a day and then he can put that all semen into your vagina with some dropper because sperm life is about 72 hours and do intercourse at the 14th day, and days will be count with the first day when menses starts because egg releases at the 14th day and the chances of pregnancy increases in this way.

    • Shayan: collect his sperm or semen by masturbating 2 or 3 times a day and then he can put that all semen into your vagina with some dropper because sperm life

      But how to collect and store sperms before putting it into vagina? Could lead to infections........sperms damage........Sterile dropper and sperm storage container should be used. penis should be washed with a disinfectant and water before a collection. It is important to consult a physician.

      Only one sperm is needed for the job.

      Stress and depression could have a negative effect You need to relax when you do it.

      Advice offered by Shyan is good but could do a serious damage

  2. Assalaamu alaykum

    Sister remember it is Allah swt who gives children to whoever he wants. Instead of being stressed or depressed you should be grateful to your lord in action than words.

    Plus disobedience to Allah swt prevents to having children. So ask Allah swt forgiveness.

    Allah swt sys in the Quran:
    "And said, 'Ask forgiveness of your Lord. Indeed, He is ever a Perpetual Forgiver".

    "He will send [rain from] the sky upon you in [continuing] showers".

    "And give you increase in wealth and children and provide for you gardens and provide for you rivers".

    Sister watch this video:

    http://youtu.be/THkGmJT32E0

    • Allah SWT says:

      Al Quran [42:49]

      "To Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth; He creates what he wills. He gives to whom He wills female [children], and He gives to whom He wills males."

      In the words of Omar Suleiman (see his FB page)

      I know this is a touchy subject, but for those who haven't been given children in this world:
      Unfortunately as a community, sensitivity is not our strength. With the vibrant mix of culture and accents, people can say some really insensitive things which many times are unintentional. Sadly, couples who don't have children are very often on the receiving end of those comments. As a result, many sisters in particular start to feel deficient and question Allah's decree.

      1. Allah says in the Quran "Money and Children are the joys of this world" but also says "know that your money and children are but a test for you". In that sense, just as Allah tests some people with wealth and others with poverty, He tests some with children and others with not having children. Just as not having money is in no way a sign of Allah's displeasure, not having children does not indicate Allah's not being pleased with you. Rather Allah tests us all in unique ways knowing what we can and can't handle.

      2. A woman who does not have a child is in no way "deficient" or "incomplete". One of the greatest women of all time who was described by the Prophet (peace be upon him) as having perfected her faith was Assiya Bint Muzahim (ra). She was the wife of Pharoah and never had children yet she has been cited by Allah as an example for all believing men and women. So don't let insensitive people make you feel like you are any less than anyone else.

      3. When Allah mentions the story of Khidr (as) in the Quran, He mentions a couple losing their young child and this is from Allah's infinite wisdom. We don't know what the future holds and why Allah gives and withholds, but we trust that it's always for our own good.

      4. Do not stop making dua to Allah as the Quran has many examples of righteous people who were given children in their old age. Your dua can do wonders. But when you make dua, ask Allah to grant you children so they can serve the Deen as Zakariya (as) did.

      5. Last but not least, consider adopting a child while observing proper Islamic etiquettes that maintain the identity of the child. The need for Muslim foster parents cannot be overstated and it's something all of us should intend to do whether we have children or not. The reward for caring for an orphan is unique and grants one closeness to the Prophet (peace be upon him) in the hereafter. If you are able to bring a child in before the age of 2 and breastfeed him/her (lactation can be induced), then the child will be a mahram to both parents and any other children in the family. Again, this is not simply to be done because you were unable to have children but instead to realize the reward of caring for a child while also receiving it's warmth. Perhaps you wouldn't have considered becoming foster parents had you been able to have children biologically and that could be the extra motivation that causes you to care for an orphan and earn Jannah with the Prophet (peace be upon him). I hope that in coming years, couples with or without children step up to the plate and start filling this void inshaAllah.

      I hope this post will be somewhat helpful and if I have said anything offensive or insensitive, please realize it is not my intention what so ever.
      May Allah bless us all with the best of this world and the next, and protect us from the punishment of the fire. ameen

      Please do not infer that having no children is some sort of punishment from Allah swt for disobedience. As having children is not some sort of reward from Allah swt for obedience. There are believers and disbelievers alike who both have and do not have children. And Allah swt knows best.

      To the OP, I suggest that you focus on the words from Br. Omar Suleiman.

  3. Assalamu alaykum sister,
    i heared about a sister who couldn't get pregnant, she tried every kind of treatment for 10years. At the end she came to know about hijama and after only one section she got pregnant with a baby girl mash'Allah. I would strongly advise you and your husband, especially your husband(as you said his semen is less) to do hijama/wet cupping. If you live in the UK, i believe there is a place in London for Hijama, just google it and you will find out insh'Allah. It's sunnah and it has many health benefits allhamdullilah. Always eat healthy food and of course you should never stop making dua, insh'Allah Allah swt will bless you with a child "Ameen"

  4. You may try every effort in this world and pray to Allah, inshallah, you may or may not grant your wish. One should trust that everything comes from God is for the better. As Saba mentioned above: "Please do not infer that having no children is some sort of punishment from Allah swt for disobedience." Do not let those people playing with your mind. They may have a good intention but just ignorant to advise something like that.

    I have children myself and I shared with my friends who are not married and who are married without children that family comes in different size and form, I don't see why you cannot be happy either with or without. Live your life fully by sharing your faith, your love and care, Live under whatever circumstance you are given. I am grateful for the children God gives me but I see that it is a responsibility (take a bigger portion than joy) that God entrusts me to raise them up under my guard. Everyone has their tasks and responsibility assigned. What is yours?

    With this attitude in mind, you will feel more relax that we human cannot control everything or want everything that we wish for. Trust God has prepared the best for you. This also applies to single or young muslim, there is no need to stress choosing partner just for the sake of pressure to marry or for the pressure of "people" saying you may not be blessed or you are damn. Life is more than having children or getting marry, there is so much more we can do to enrich our life in here and after. I don't know if adoption is one of your choice, think about how beautiful and merciful will be if a child get adopted by a couple who really want children.

    Trust Allah, He is the bountiful. Amen.

  5. I agree with every ones advise masAllah. InshAllah you will have your family. Also I agree dont think this is punishment from Allah in actual fact its a test for life. Be patience and keep doing your prayers and dua never give up I know its tough but you will get there be positive.

  6. Asak ,

    Sorry for Writing my question here as i have posted separate question but that might take time to publish due to long queue ..I need some urgent advise ...My wife is 5th month pregnant and tests shows that it is positive for Downdyndrome .Most of people go for abortion in this case as child might have some genetic disorder(like having IQ of 4 or 5 year old in the age of 40 etc etc or other issues) ...Please advise if abortion is allowed in such case if down syndrome is positive and there is high probability of unhealthy baby ?

    • @Thinking The doctors are not always right. The test could also be wrong. My own friend went through this and ulhumdilAllah her baby is normal and healthy. The doctors were wrong! I personally would not opt for abortion because its still a baby, your baby. You should keep it Allah gave you a child regardless whether it has Downdyndrome or not. Count your blessings you still conceived a child learn to love it and done care what the community or people think.

    • Assalaamualaikam

      I've published your question separately, and added my comment to that post.

      Midnightmoon
      IslamicAnswers.com editor

  7. my dear never lose hope for Allahs timing is always tha best.dont be stressed for this world is just like water passing under d bridge,keep on making dua for it is our weapon to raise against all odds in dis dunya ,i pray that Allah most high grant u pious children n d ummah at large Aameen

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