Islamic marriage advice and family advice

What are the conditions for marrying a student?

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Asalaamu Alaykum,

I am interested in marrying a certain female student, but would like to find out if the conditions that will prevail after the marriage would be permissible in Islam:

First, would it be permissible for the woman to continue to live separately in the city she is currently studying, which is about 350km away? In a whole year, she will come home for 3 months, and this will continue for the next 3 years before she completes her university education.

Second, would it be permissible to delay having children for 3 years in order to allow her to complete her education without maternity breaks?

Last, would it be compulsory and halal and to fully finance the rest of her university education?

May Allah bless you for your help. Jazaakallaahu khair!

Hashim.

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3 Responses »

  1. Mate best to get married and its permisionable dont worry good luck

  2. Salaams,

    it sounds like your questions are more technical in nature. For issues such as the halal/haraam aspect of financing an education, it's better you consult with a scholar or imam. We cannot answer those type of questions adequately.

    I also don't feel comfortable advising you about "waiting to have children", because from what I know of Islam family planning is mostly left to Allah. I know that it is permissable for a male to perform coitus interruptus to reduce the chance of pregnancy, but this is not a guaranteed method of birth control and other forms of synthetic birth control are generally seen as haraam. This is another issue that could probably be better addressed by someone you trust who has more Islamic knowledge on this matter than we do.

    As far as living separately so she can attend school, I would say this is not the most advised course of action because you are newly married and it would be better for the two of you to be living with one another if at all possible. After all, when a married couple lives separately (even by necessity), the opportunities for fitna and temptation increase. However, I don't want to advise you NOT to marry just based on this because even then you have a dilemma in staying chaste and avoiding sin by remaining single.

    The best case scenario would be for you two to live together wherever she attends school. Is there a reason you cannot live in the city where her school is? Or for her to transfer her credits to a school where you live? I am sure with some creative thinking you will find a better solution to your quandry than living separately.

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. Assalaamu'alaikum Bro

    Alhamdulillah congrats Bro. May Allah Ta'ala makes ur marriage a source for peace of heart & of Hidaayah. Bro be very careful what u r about to do. Like the comment above from bro/sis Amy said, he/she is right.

    For me Bro i would rather take into consideration the marital part. Actually after performing Nikah, ull consume it as u had already talked about pregnancy n so on. I totally agree with Amy. Alhamdulillah ull be able to wait after she'll go away but not for too long. It is scientifically proved that a woman in its own nature can wait for her husband not more than 4 months without sexual act. Sometime it depends which part of the world she is from, summer & winter affects her physically, even men. For u ill be direct Bro, dont play with fire my dear like some wise men/women would tell.

    I advise u to do what Bro/sis Amy had said, its very true. Sorry actually i dont know if Amy is a bro or a sis...no worry, better its like that, be unpredictable...nice!!! Bro please don't meet her just for 3 months a year, this will weakened ur marital life n will create problem. Becoz when a woman dont have sexual act with her husband n taking into account when she is having menstruation, she will become very nervous n will affect her emotionally(psychologically). Even u Bro...then the worst may happen which insha-Allah ull be protected from as i know now as u know, insha-Allah ull do what should be done.

    Take Care Bro...may Allah Ta'ala blesses u a happy marriage n make Da'wah always.

    Over n Out

    Ma'assalaama

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