Islamic marriage advice and family advice

What are the wife’s rights after a divorce?


After many years of marriage I got an std and found out he has cheated on me. I knew he had suffered because of family problems with his familly and our child. He was a good man at heart.  He did many good things including bringing islam to me. I wanted to forgive him and work on the marriage. Although he has a good heart he has a bad temper.

Over the years he has abused me physically,  verbally with insults and degradation and emotionally with neglect both in his time and in intimicy.  as well as being away in another country for work.  Each year more and more. Until the last year he was only three months home. He asked for a divorce.  Once three times in one sitting then confirming many more times after. He then left out of the country.

He was cruel to me and blamed me for things I did not do which he later admitted was wrong but still continues to be abusive and slowly my love for him disappeard and once the three months past and he confirmed he still wanted a divorce I was relieved.

At times he says he will continue to pay for our children but says he won't give me anything and I may live in his house but must be out once the last child is married. I gave up my career to raise our children and at such an advanced age I'm afraid I won't have the ability to pay for my living. I don't have family that can help and any money that comes from him seems to be attached to abuse. He has lots of appartments and land but refuses to give any to me. I even asked that he put one in my childrens name but he refused.

I am afraid of not having enough money and feel frustrated as I often went without and kept a tight budget as to help my husband build his fortune as I believed it would be for our future and our children. I find it unfair that at this late age i am left pennyless and forced to work to feed myself and perhaps even my children.

I was wondering what is a woman's rights in islam. Does she get part of what was made as a sacrafice of both during the mariage? Since he broke the marriage vows must he continue to pay for the wife until she remarries? I'm not allowed to live alone but have no family, where am I to live? Finally if I am to find a job to support myself and my children may I refuse his money to avoid future abuse? Also he has not sign the divorce papers as he has not been in the country, we are religiously divorced but not yet legally. So are we divorced in islam and how long must I wait to be remarried?



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4 Responses »

  1. What i understand if He divorce You and You have children together He should look after all of You till You get marry, my sister if your husband have pronoun in his mouth at your talik 3 times then your 100% divorce and You have to site for 3 months to remarried but try your best and fight till the end dont give up

  2. As salam O Alaikum Sis

    ( After many years of marriage I got an std and found out he has cheated on me. )

    Sis what does you got an Std means ?

    Please let me know what does that std stands for ? Is that some abbreviation? If yes than whats the full form as per you ?

    Then i will reply further.

    Wa Salam

  3. My sister Salam. .A women has more rights then her husband in so many ways..I'm saying this because my wife is the sunni scholor ...A women can take divorce it is called khula. A women doesn't have to feel obliged that she has to cook.
    The husband has to care of her and children shelter clothing food education children and he should not boast or use it against her..There is a book of rulings in marroage according to imam abu hanifa..just Google it ..there is another book you can buy at islamic store and it is on all walks of is called heavenly ornaments. .The reason why so many muslims feels down is because of the proper concrete foundation in understanding there purpose...who's Allah and the mission of prophet Muhammad PBUH! Know this success in this world and the hereafter is only Obeying Allah's commandments and teachings of prophet Muhammad PBUH who is are guide or role model....There is know other way in life despite how rich a person is or intelligent. Allah says if there is no time for rememberance of me .Then I will fill the heart with so many worries that he will never find contentment. ...So my advice master the basics of Salah learn to read is easy......give whatever you can to charity help the weak n poor spread the word and you will see Allah will open up so many avenues for you....provided you stay away from evil...Haram food clothing interest music bad movies u know best.Know you no how easy it is that devil is weakened and confused the ummah at large. FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP DO WHAT'S BEST AND RIGHT .BE HONEST AND PATIENT.LIFE IS TO SHORT WE MUST PREPARE

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