Islamic marriage advice and family advice

What can I do?

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I am a 17 year old girl having family issues.. I want to ask for your opinion. My mother is having affairs with other men with her having four children and a lovely husband. I have done advising her many times but instead she warned me to not mind her business. She said she knows well what she's doing. She is contacting them with social apps. My father does not know about this. There was once my father accidentally read my mother's chats with other guys. He got super mad and threw away the phone. My mother was scared, she ran away to her hometown (my grandparents' house) without my father's permission. After getting advice from my grandparents, my mother apologizes to my father and promised him not to do that again. They made up very well after that.

But it seems that my mother is breaking her promise. She is still not learn from her mistakes. She still keeps on contacting them. I tried changing her password for the social apps but instead she created another account.

It seems that my mother is learning all these bad things from her friends. Her friends are all having affairs with other men although they have husband and children. She is following her friends' trend about having boyfriend while married. She thinks it is cool though. Such childish thoughts.

What should I do? What can I do? If I am to tell my father I'm afraid things might be getting worse. I have no doubt she will be thinking about running away once more, and that is really dangerous. I have told my grandparents, and they have tried advising her but she replied the same thing she said to me: she knows what she's doing, so don't mind her business.

I have thought of getting her to see marriage counsellor or psychologist, but I'm very sure she will never agree to that. Plus, no one can take her there. My father is working, and he does not know about this. And I have no license to drive.

I really don't know what to do now, except to keep on praying to Allah so that He show the light to my mother and guide her to the right path.

Please, if anyone have other opinions, please help me...

Sincerely, from a really sad child.


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4 Responses »

  1. Sister ,
    Sorry to hear your problems .You need to tell your father regarding the same and let him take the action .
    Where you stay and in which country ?

  2. OP: It seems that my mother is learning all these bad things from her friends. Her friends are all having affairs with other men although they have husband and children. She is following her friends' trend about having boyfriend while married.

    Your mother is an adult, don't blame her friends. If your friends will have have b/f's are you going to do the same. It seems like your mother feels unloved by her family and seeking to fill the void by have online friends.

    Many men have affairs and usually their families and kids ignore those relationships.

    Your mother knows what she is doing, if forced she may leave you guys.

  3. Assalamualaikum Sister

    Mashallah sister you are very strong both in emaan and taqwa(Most children's took it in opposite, but you are firm and said what is sin is sin and helping your mom to be better person). And you had handle this situation very good.
    I know you don't think negative about your mom and try to be positive in future too and do not judge her in future once is repented. It it just one bad phase in her life where her level of emaan had come to very low. Inshallah she will be very good and strong mother with high emaan and taqwa. Make dua for her. She is human and can make mistakes. Show her how much you love her and care about her. Every day level of Emaan gets increase and decrease, one has to boost by reading 5 time salah, Quran and hadith.

    Mashallah you are 17 yr old and very strong in belief, I would suggest you to take responsibility of your home and make your home environment Islamic . You your self read salah/quran, and guide your brothers and sister and show them about Islam. Create a Islamic environment at your home, u can do so by , daily at home all your bro/sis/mom/dad all sit together after isha or magrib read Hadith may be 4-5 hadith and discuss and repeat with each other. Take some small suara from quran and read its tafseer. Show your mom her responsibility indirectly. You can read from ""tafseer ibn katheer"" , ""muntakhab ahadees"" in your language which can be understood by all. It will be very helpful.

    And discuss with you mom talk to her more n more about anything she like, may be about dress, sopping, cooking any thing even about islam and its history and don't let her be alone. MAKE HER FEAR ALLAH. Bring her trust in you and don't threaten her but tell her how much you love her and show your fear about her been moving out and your fear about getting separated from dad.

    Make lots and lots of dua.

    I am sorry if i offended you.
    Jazakallah Khairn

  4. Please if you want your father to be alive than please say him to give divorce to her she is not spoiling your fathers life also she is impacting a very vicious bad effects on your sub conscious. So get rid o her ASAP she is doing zina and its one of the most desasterous acts in social and ethical life

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