Islamic marriage advice and family advice

What is the next step?

Assalam u alaikum,
I am an 18 year old girl and have just recently found out that the boy I like (who is also my best friend of two years) also likes me back.
Throughout the course of our friendship, we have never crossed any major boundaries such as touching or meeting outside of school or even talking inappropriately.

I know we shouldn't have become friends in the first place, but it just sort of happened and now I am here.

We have kept our distance and been cordial with each other from the start.
But the only issue here is the fact that we are both going to different universities and the matter of keeping in touch comes to question.
From the islamic point of view, what would be the next step here?

Both our parents are alright with the idea of their children finding their own spouses. And I have done my part by keeping my elder sister in the loop, as to not get carried away.

We both are serious about this leading towards marriage but fear that we are too young to make a clear headed decision as of yet?
Would setting a clear goal about when to tell our parents work?
How do love marriages work in Islam?

I do care for him deeply and would like to spend the rest of my life with him. And I know Allah has already decided my spouse for me, but what does that even mean? Should I not actively seek one for myself.
What are the specifics and how do I do this the right way?

Please let me know.
Thank you!


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5 Responses »

  1. Dear lion 1099
    I am a member of this site I would like to comments here though I am one ordinary Muslim I am not scholar or much religious but sure every decision which come through Quran and Hadeeth i will love and accept though if that decision why not hard,so the point about your choice in Islam choice marriage is our rights both girl and boy should agree but beside this to make it love story its might take us to the unlawful act ,so sister in your case it's ok until now you did not cross the boundaries and also do not forget that in Islam even we are not allowed to talk to the person who is non Muharam means not our relative,so kindly sister as long as both of you agree than better to inform your parents and go for legal marriage ASAP,in your situation until now it's fine In sha Allah MAY Allah forgive all of us for our small mistakes

    • Just want to correct you... In life there is 2 choices have deen or you don't have deen ..There many people who still don't get it ..They say I am not religious or a fanatic etc....Doesn't make sence You pray five times a day you read quran daily you go to mosque because it's the best place on earth....what do you call that if a non Muslim is seeing this .....He is going to say he's a religious fanatic?understand....I just going to say 1 morething Success in this world and in the hereafter is only Obeying Allah's commandments and teachings of prophet Muhammad PBUH. There is no other way.....Regardless how intelligent or wealthy a person might be ..Allah loves that person or dislikes that person....The problems in this world and the disasters that take place is only because of ghe actions of the muslims....When a person commits a sin it effects himself and the the environment. . That is why we must understand and learn Deen properly from the sunni scholors and become blessed in this world .. or else you will be like most people work work no time for Allah no time for families because of the mortgage you took out for your living expectations .....This what normally happens. ..So think about that.......An idle man's brain is a devils workshop!

  2. Do istikhara. You can get the details from this site itself of how to do it. Then approach your parents, each one of you, let them meet and see where it goes from here.
    If they too approve of your choice, best thing is to do nikah and decide a time period after which you will come to live together, depending upon your studies, career goals, ability to finance a family. Also discuss financial contribution from your respective families in case you choose to live together while still studying, as the guy still needs time before he can support a full fledged family.
    During this time, it is very important that your interaction with the guy is restricted as you both have confessed your liking to each other and a weak moment could lead you into sin. May Allah guide and protect us all.

  3. AoA.

    If you are so sure about this person and him about you then introduce him to your family and if all goes well, do a nikah before joining university. But make sure you are positive about this by taking the opinions of every one in your family.

    Hope that helps.

    Allah knows best.


  4. Haram looking talking etc....leads to maturation especially guys.....If you want to get married speak up if you consider yourself an adult.....Other then this tricks r 4 kidz.......My opion is when I married my wife I was 30 she was 19 .the only difference she just came from England after 7 years at the Islamic institute for women's. ..There they do learn all the skills they need to be the leaders of the mothers on haqq. They are far more mature and patient because of the knowledge they pocess......So my point is in today s muslim world it is very hard for young couples to get married and survive.......1st of all there is no proper deen in there life so the relationship will take haram turns avenues becoming a curse for them unknowingly .You r 2 young and marriage is not easy because after that deception of LUST goes away's all down hill from there..Look at the divorce rate in general the physical mental abuse....just ask any doctor how much antidepressants are given out daily? ? You see we have to have the correct deen in are life or else e erything around us will collapse. Success in this world and in the hereafter is only Obeying Allah's commandments and teachings of prophet Muhammad PBUH. This is the only answer......

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