Islamic marriage advice and family advice

What should I do?

thoughts

assalamvailekum...

hi sisters and brothers this is 25 year old woman seeking suggestion about family harassment.

I am only daughter of my parents. I had completed my degree  in when I was 20 yrs old... after I worked for one year in a school. But I love to do higher education very much that's why I continued the studies again. I got free seat in campus for pg. I was 21 yrs when I joined the pg and completed the pg within two years while studying one. My maternal uncle's son gave some money and one lap top .. I have taken but I don't know in that time it was wrong but after all my relatives know this and  I felt very ashamed. They quarreled with us that my uncle's son had lot of doubt on me always he is calling me and showed torture a lot.. They scolded us very badly we are very poor. We don't have any support I don't have that much dare to face them.

Finally I agree to marry that boy ... But he is very cruel person he used to drink and come to my home. He has showed lot of disaster to us, that's why we canceled their match and I went another city from my hometown.

Now am doing a private job but I want to take revenge on them now am trying for govt jobs. Seriously after getting govt job I will go to their home with the police and ask why did they insulted us.. what should I do..? please help I have faced lot of insult..

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11 Responses »

  1. Sister I didn't fully understand your post but it seems this cousin of yours wanted to marry you and has poor morals etc so U decided not to marry him and went your own way. There is no point seeking revenge, you will only be hurting yourself. Why don't you let go, focus on yourself and develop your career further. Let bygones be bygones, make dua for him for Allah SWT to guide him. The best revenge is for you to be happy with yourself and form a good life. May Allah swt guide you and bless you in this life and the hereafter. Ameen.

  2. salam

    PLZ editors do not remove it...

    [Editor's note: In order to have a question published, you need to submit it as a new post for publication, not as a comment on an existing post. Your question can then be posted and answered in turn, inshaAllah.]

  3. All the best for ur govt job..

  4. Assalaamualaikam

    Sister, holding on to this bitterness towards these people won't hurt them, it will only end up hurting you. There's no point in taking the police to their door over old family disputes, so long as no crime was committed. It sounds like the cousin you were considering marrying wasn't of good character, and you are now away from that, so try to look back and say Alhamdulillah - you saw what he was like before it was too late, you've learned from the experience and have moved on to a new and inshaAllah happier stage of your life. Hard as it might seem, let this dispute stay in the past and focus on the present and the future, where inshaAllah you can find happiness and fulfilment.

    Midnightmoon
    IslamicAnswers.com editor

  5. salam
    if editors anyone of you can send me your email address. I really need help.i can not post my problem here because my family member also visit this website and I do not want that they have come to know that I posted here.plz plz plz

    • shayan, because of the high traffic and number of questions we receive on this website, we do not do personal correspondence. You can submit your post here, but use a different name and change some of your personal details so that no one recognizes you.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  6. salam
    Thanks a lot wael you replied but can you plz tell me that can you delete my question from the website when once it will be posted and when it will be answered and after how many time you will post my question after submitting and plz tell me will you delete my question because its my request please reply.

  7. please help me because I am not finding any other source to get help. I am very depressed feeling ashamed and guilty and please I really need help I am very ashamed at myself please.......

    • shayan, whatever your difficulty is, it's likely we have answered similar posts from others. Please search our archives and I'm sure you will find an answer to your question, Insha'Allah. May Allah make things easy for you and give you a way forward.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  8. OK wasl can you help me in this regard that I will share my problem here in this post as comment and after reading my problem and guiding me can you delete that because now I will post as comment. wael plz help me I have been so much tires of my life. that you can imagine. I am very depressed for about seven months and you are my last hope plz please reply me if it is possible.and I already tried to find help from old posted question and from many other websites but did not found solution of my problem and please inform me do any of you editors or you understand Urdu or message language because English is not my language.
    message language mean as
    what are you doing?
    in message language
    ap kya kr raha Han?
    please please reply I shall always be thankful to you.please I really need help and very depressed.

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