Islamic marriage advice and family advice

What should I do with my cheating wife?

Man thinking

Salam,

I caught my wife having sex with some other person she had been cheating on me with for the last 6 months as per her call records. I don't know how many times they had sex.

What should I do now?

Aziz

Advertisements

Tagged as: ,

37 Responses »

  1. Well it's usually the other way around! Make dua brother and ask for guideance In Sha Allah Allah (swt) will guide you.

    • Muslima ,

      Other way round ? I think still you can't believe that a married Muslim woman having sex with other man other than her husband .
      In the same forum we are seeing many stories of married women or non married hijab wearing girl falling for temptation and indulging in Zina .So these are happening irrespective of gender or communities/culture etc which is not a good sign .
      I think Zina will be frequent when day of judgment keeps coming nearer .

      I think he has only one good option that is he should divorce her .

      • Yes these days women are showing more promiscuous behavior. Even with so called hijabi woman. Not all but very few.

        • Lol I take it you dont wear hijab , I wonder if Allah will be pleased with you , do not slander pious women. Those who wear no hijab knock pious women down due to their own sins. I know many pious women who do not CHEAT.

          • I feel that reading alot of posts on here alot of them come from kufr ppl pretending to be muslims to defame the muslim women, usually those posts are kufr insecure females who have ruined their lives with sin, and envy the strong clean pious women. Word of advice to all the kufr who try to cause dissension amongst our Ummah , get a life and concentrate on your own faults instead of trying to defame pious muslims. Allah a w.j will punish you soon enough In Sha Allah.

      • Yes .Both genders have many cases of adultery.
        Most probable reason for it seems to be surrounding environment , free mixing like in offices, easy porn access on mobiles etc etc .
        Now Women porn watchers numbers have increased too .
        Compare to olden days they get more chances and places to mix with non mehram like offices , outings, office parties etc etc .
        Say for example some one works continuously with other men for longer time , chances of they forming relationship higher and Porn watching will further put more temptation to have sex with other man like office collegue etc etc . Also just wearing hijab won't reduce temptation if other guidelines are not allowed. We are reading many posts here where married hijab wearing women ending up with sex with some other guy or similarly men having same .
        Yes , you can't generalize all , as there are many good people also but this is also fact that many have indulged in illegal sex and we keep reading such stories where they are coming for help and to repent.

        • I can honestly say as a grown woman I dont know one practicing Muslima who watches porn or who cheats the only women I know who have done that have been disbelieving women, who crave attention to feel wanted. Fortunately muslima women are not insecure our creator has made us very strong Alhamdulliah. I know many kufr women who throw themselves at men and get used and abused in the process , I also know these women target the husbands of females and have no shame in breaking up marriages or sleeping with any one with a pulse along as their desires get met, none of these women are muslims , they class themselves as atheist! So please do not slander the pious believing women as it doesn't wash we are much more superior than the kufr our sacrifices and will power are our proof and testimonies. Allah us our witness . Ameen .

          • Sara ,

            I think what you are telling might be truth .There can be false stories too in this forum by people who projects themselves as practicing Muslims .As this is a public forum so all possibilities are open .

            Please note in my comment I have not generalized everyone and said i know there are many pious and good hijab women and bearded men too .

            But some section of people seems to be fallen for bad things as their longer conversations with religious quotes , tones etc etc in many posts makes to believe that they might be the real one ..But nothing can be confirmed .Even Fake people can adopt that type of language and tone to fool people ..

            Overall , I agree we have very good and pious Muslim girls l but some small section might have gone out of track for some time and want to come back to right tack again it seems ,,

          • To Sara,

            I am not slandering people who wear hijabs. If you read my post I sad NOT ALL. You are here acting arrogant. Calling me kufr, hijabi hating, supposedly I am guilty of my sins so I am slandering pious people here.

            You don’t understand where I and abc is trying to say here. Why are you so offended by it. Maybe you feel guilty or came across a incident in your life. You sound like those taliban “kill the kafrs, any non-Mualims”

            I am a practicing Muslima. I don’t wear hijab but my good hijabi friends told me that I am more hijabi than them meaning my personality, behavior, lifestyle. When I made a comment about few hijabis that I came across that act provocative and flirtous...I am not saying with a tone that I am against pious people. Again learn to read our posts! ABC commentor notes that on this form hijabi and non-hijabi practicing Muslima commits and attempted zina.

  2. From your question there's no mention of repentence or asking for forgiveness so I don't think you have many other options apart from leaving her. Depending on where you live you do need to report this to authorities ASAP. As this is considered a crime in many countries. Make sure your accusations are backed up by proof.

  3. Divorce her..

  4. Just leave her

  5. There is nothing worse than a cheating woman for that alone you should divorce her. You will never feel the same about her and before she destroys you, get rid of her

    • Brother Ahmed,

      To clarify, both cheating women and cheating men are doing something that is not permissible. Cheating women aren't in any way better or worse than cheating men.

      Nor
      IslamicAnswers

  6. Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem
    Walaikum Salaam, Brother
    Divorce your wife, put her in Allah's hand, there's seems like no repentance and shaytan is bringing evil into your home. Get the proof you need and just keep calling on Allah for help and guidance.

    • notice how no woman is advising him to divorce the wife. they all jump in when the man is cheating on the wife.

      • Deco:

        Because 5 or 6 people advocate some time of forgiveness does not mean that all women feel the same way. You are too quick to assess an extremely minimal number of responses. I am, however, trying to find out who "they all" are. It might be a good idea to just answer the question asked and leave commentary alone.

        The man, Aziz, left out considerable information. How long was he married? Was he abusing his wife? Did he get along with her? Was he trying his best to be a devoted, caring husband? Was his marriage arranged and one where the wife was forced into the relationship? Is the husband physically desirable or Jabba the Hut's twin? Was he an attentive and affectionate husband or did he treat his wife as his sex servant only concerned about his own sexual needs?

        He has the right to divorce his wife if she has been unfaithful. It may be best for him to just tell her that is what he plans to do, separate from her and make a clean break. Maybe even make dua that his ex-wife makes taubah and in the future try to live a better life. Maybe they can separate and he can be certain that divorce is best. He has every right to do this. If his wife is committing adultery, she more than likely is not interested in being his wife, so a complete break may be best. Aziz, you can always tell others things just did not work out and move on. Insha Allah you will be rewarded with a trusted wife.

  7. First, I want to say that I am sorry that this happed. If you are 100% sure of the affair, you should confront her with your evidence. Then you should get checked for possible STD's. An affair can not only destroy your marriage but cause serious diseases or death. I feel that if your wife had an affair once that she might be likely to do it again. To stay with her will cause you stress because you will never fully trust her again. I think you should consider a divorce if your evidence proves to be correct. If you decide to remarry in the future I suggest you get counseling (Imam or therapist) because you might think your new wife will do the same thing.
    I am sure all who have read your question made dua for you. Again, I am sorry.
    Salaam

  8. I caught my wife having sex with some other person she had been cheating on me with for the last 6 months as per her call records. I don't know how many times they had sex. What should I do now?

    You saw your wife having sex with some one and you want to know what to do? You don't know how many times she had sex with the other guy. How long have you been married? Have you been checking her phone records for the last 6 months? How did you react when you caught her doing it?

    • Dear "tami - and ABC, Bismiliah Rahmanir Raheem , dont slander our women. If you can prove women are as you put it - straying - help them -instead of gossiping on social media. Your views will turn away non Muslims and portray a false Ummah, I know many Muslim females who are practicing and wear hijab. You dont wear hijab and you are knocking others. It's not needed ,dear. I think he has accused her of enough publicly , then you add your two peneth.

      If this woman had cheated- I don't doubt for a moment he would not have left her!! He said he saw her with another man cheating? If I saw my spouse with a woman I certainly would not need to seek advise on this it is a crime in islam and divorce is the option, a crime like this coupled with no shame or repentance doesn't take einstein to work out the answer on what he should do , a practicing muslim would know exactly what to do.

      • Sara,

        “ dont slander our women. If you can prove women are as you put it - straying - help them -instead of gossiping on social media.”

        What do you mean don’t slander our woman. Why are you accusing me as a hater of people who wear hijab and are pious. How are our comments making Islam look bad. When people display facts about what is happening in our Ummah, it doesn’t mean we are gossiping, we are sharing experience of what we encountered. If someone is committing sin like having boyfriends, wearing revealing clothing...I am not going to go up to her and start advising and get slammed by hearing, it’s none of my business. It’s not my personality to be the halal police. And in turn be hated by them. Whatever decision people make a choice of is there’s, there true selves are showing...AGAIN this goes for all levels of Muslim girls (practicing, no-practicing, hijabi or non-hijabi). I am not labeling. You are more afraid what if a non-Muslim comes here and have a bad image about Islam. Honey people of all faiths commit sin. Please STOP accusing me of hijabi hater...my mom and friends wear it and I practicing my faith sincerely. You don’t know how to interpret people’s comment.

        • That's "good" Tami - that your relatives and friends wear hijab , yes takes alot of strength to wear hijab- keep away from sins and have a life long goal to Jannah- may the religious muslims gain their reward for their efforts. May the disbelieving corrupted kufr receive their reward.

          I have re read your comment and still I do not see the need for your to drag other muslim females into someone else's post. This post was someone who stated his wife had cheated? Still to this day I can honestly say I never met a practicing muslima who has committed zina Alhamdulliah.
          If any gender commits zina as-then divorce is an option as all practicing Muslims know.
          But stating ladies who wear hijab are sinners is a joke and is a sin upon you - astaghfirullah.

          • Asalaamualaykum Muslima/Sara,

            This is your second post in which you have stated, in so many words, that "may the kufr women get their punishment." In another thread, you even followed it up with "Inshallah." If you are indeed concerned with "levels" of Muslims and such, then wishing bad upon others...even those who have hurt you or the Ummah...will not get you to the highest one. There is no such thing as Karma in Islam. There is Kifarah and there is Mercy. I would suggest that you pray that they be guided instead.

            Nor
            IslamicAnswers

          • Thank you Nor, I agree with you. These ladies have become very sensitive and cursing and accusing me of false things. Starting with those statements with “Bismillah” “ Inshallah”. ....

            And then calling me KUFR!
            If you read my comments this is what I wrote. “Yes these days women are showing more promiscuous behavior. Even with so called hijabi woman. Not all but very few”

            I said NOT ALL!!!

            Sister abc said something similar like me. “Also just wearing hijab won't reduce temptation if other guidelines are not allowed. We are reading many posts here where married hijab wearing women ending up with sex with some other guy or similarly men having same”

            What do me and sister abc get are nasty comments from Sara and Muslima.
            - We are Kufr, Hijabi hater. Bad mouthing pious Muslims. Calling us sinners.

            I am appalled by your reaction and accusing me of Kufr and calling me a sinner.

            Sara comment-
            “I feel that reading alot of posts on here alot of them come from kufr ppl pretending to be muslims to defame the muslim women, usually those posts are kufr insecure females who have ruined their lives with sin, and envy the strong clean pious women. Word of advice to all the kufr who try to cause dissension amongst our Ummah , get a life and concentrate on your own faults instead of trying to defame pious muslims. Allah a w.j will punish you soon enough In Sha Allah.”

            Muslima comment-
            “But stating ladies who wear hijab are sinners is a joke and is a sin upon you - astaghfirullah.”

            Please Please don’t call me KUFR, Hijabi pious woman HATER. SINNER. I will be PUNISHED. It’s hurting my feelings. I am non of that. All I said was NOT all and I get a slew of accusations of what I am. Be careful who you call kafr.

        • Not your personality to be the hall police- sorry its sounds like your the Islamophobia police- unfortunately nothing you say has any effect on Strong practicing muslims - you come across as a islamophobic bitter female- rub your head with dust . Many lovely practicing females across the globe , I have met many kufr and disbelieving women you sound like one of them tryng to misguide the Ummah - well you will not misguide me. May Allah fill our Ummah with more strong and faithful muslimas- there is a clear divide from disbelieving people and believers - one worships Allah the other worships money - desire,greed and chases after this Dunya.

          • To Tami the joker , becareful who I call kafaar sorry ? Are you talking to me ? And what is it you are going to do? ? I'm really scared. Shivering in my boots hun lol I'm a muslim my dear the only person I fear is ALLAH A.W.J not tami islamophobic troll . Come meet me and il see what you will do lol and you will see what I will do. Your mouth doesn't faze me hun. Your all talk no action. Go cover yourself you shameful creature.

        • How dare you call me a Taliban you fool! You are DEFINATELY A KUFR PRETENDING TO BE A MUSLIM- what kind of Muslim are you? Go on answer ? What kind of muslim are you pretending to be as I have read all your posts you have proved you dont know a dam thing . You are trying to fool this site in thinking you are a Muslim your a fake. And PS THERE IS ONLY ONE ISLAM TO SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT AND NO TERRORISTS LUV. Only sick people like you telling muslims to be non practicing. It won't wash I see straight through you like glass your clear and transparent- luckily I pray I worship Allah a.w j and I know a fake when I hear one.
          Fake go put your head scarf on you hypocrite. Not that you have a head scarf as you are not a muslim at all. You are a non Muslim truth is you have no interest in islam at all . I have being reading alot of non muslims on here POSING as muslims to cause dissension within the Ummah. Grow up.

          • Muslima, since you came on this website all you have done is spread animosity and insults, call people kuffar and hypocrites, and stir up arguments. You are so full of hate and anger. Your attitude is not welcome here. I have banned you from this website.

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • Brother Wael,
            I thank Allah that you were reading all this. I didn’t know how to contact you as I was getting abused and being called a non-Muslim. Which really upset me. I prayed Maghreb and then I saw your response. I am thankful for this site as this has helped me gain so much knowledge about Islam and I feel comfort that there are others just like me who suffer with similar challenges in life. Islam has all the answers.

            I may be wrong but can you please see if Sara is the same person as Muslima. She was advocating it first, slandering me for supposedly being a Kufr.

          • I will look into it inshaAllah.

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • Yes, it's the same person. I banned the email address, so both usernames are banned.

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • Wael,
            JazakAllah Khair. Wow, this person pretended to be two different people using 2 usernames. So psycho/bipolar, one minute she will write sensible things about Islam and then next minute calling/attacking Muslim people as kufr, sinner, wishes punishment...then becomes abusive and writes a fake crafty mean stories about you for enjoyment purposes.

      • I dont believe for a second that Tami - ABC are muslims ABC is a song written by a pedophile and tami is a western name Nor however means light but unfortunately the light is out in this case- you definitely are Muslim trolls who dislike religious people - your levels of emaan were unveiled when you decided to voice your comments. Tami - abc (Michael Jackson's song) and Nor you are clearly deluded. Go on a kufr site and leave practicing muslims alone . How dare you describe women who wear hijab as sinners who stray - you sound like you are very insecure picking at muslims who choose to cover and wear hijab - Ma Sha Allah for all the Muslim ladies who practice their faith- do you actually believe in Allah (swt) if so please describe your knowledge of our majestic religion.
        Ps in a response to your statement about karma -no one said anything about Karma my dear maybe your hearing whispers .

        • As for hating on women you did that both abc joker and tami- why were you knocking muslims who wear hijab- did it increase your self esteem- maybe if you are having problems go see your gp- but dont come on here saying women who cover are cheats - you have a large mouth and in groups you feel big - cowardly and insecure. That is why I called you A KUFR as who have demonstrated that behaviour, I have met alot of disbelieving women fishing about Islam, and trying to lure and cause mischief within the Ummah. You hide behind a computer , but your words are full of critical hatred towards practicing Muslim females. I feel sorry for you . Get well soon. There are lots of practicing females who are an example to the disbelieving women unfortunately it fuels their hearts with fire when they see good pious women.

          May Allah send natural disasters to those who plot against ISLAM.

          • Muslima ,

            This is brother here and not a sister .

            I m very practicing Muslim and I love Islam .

            Again i am repeating here is that I have not said all Muslim girls are bad but only some .

            My point was not to talk bad about any one but to find reasons why and where things can go wrong . (as this post is about muslim wife doing zina)

            For example in olden days most of women , men had very less chances of interacting with each other but currently you have so many channels like social media , mobiles etc etc to get in touch .
            You have places like offices , colleges where people meets each other .In olden days these were not there much .

            Even though some good people might not be having initially intention of forming any relationship but we have seen they ends up in some relationship .Again its not all but some .

            Have not seen boy/girls from going for love marriages ? .

            So my points were to mention many reasons .

            Please don't believe in internet but just look around you .You might find many very good pious people , some average level and some people who are not so good.

          • ABC I have just read your post below , the fact that this country is not islamic is a problem for our Ummah as unfortunately they constantly try to lure believers into sin. Luckily the horrendous amounts of oppression they dish out will not deter me In Sha Allah. May Allah (swt) protect his servants from this wickedness may he guide is to an islamic state where we can practice our religion easily and May he tie the hearts of the corrupters and may he punish them with the eternal abode of hellfire. May those individuals who are trying their best to stay on the righteous path be forgiven for minor sins they may engage in due to the constant oppression from the disbelieving followers of Shaytaans army may he guide them all to their destination - wretched is the abode of those who follow the wrong doers. They are the LOOSERS.

  9. Muslima,

    You have called me "delusional," said that my "light is out," and that "I am hearing whispers." You are using the blessing of language to defame people who are mentally ill. Do you have the first clue about what it's like to suffer in that way? You are spreading stigma and this is not the place for it. Did you know that people who are mentally ill will enter Jannah without account? You have said over and over to others: "What will Allah think of them." What will Allah think of you? Are you perfect? And no, I'm not scared of you. I am only waiting for death and anything else is a bonus.

    Nor
    IslamicAnswers

Leave a Response