Islamic marriage advice and family advice

When to stop making dua?



When does one give up on making dua? I have been making the same dua for months now with no progress. The girl I thought I was going to marry had completely cut me off from her life. I wasn't the best person back then. This happened 7 months ago. From that day forward, I changed my ways, improved myself, became a better person, repented and prayed my heart out day and night fit reconciliation. Even prayed tahajjud since duas have a better chance of coming true at that time. 7 whole months I've done this. I tried reaching out to her and was told off.

The problem I'm having is figuring out when to stop making dua. By continuously making this dua it is giving me hope and not letting me move on. I think Allah will for sure lead us to reconcile and marriage. But from what I've heard she's already in talks with someone else. Now if I stop making this dua then obviously it won't come true at all. But it will make it easier to let her go and move on.

I don't know what to do. I have a heavy heart. I'm in my late 20s and even at this age I'm greatly struggling.

I just want to marry her inshAllah 🙁


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9 Responses »

  1. Im really sorry for hearing about what you're going through. May Allah make it easier for you. I know exactly how you feel. I've been making dua for the same thing for months. But nothing. The thing is, we can plan and plan and beg Allah for something but at the end of the day, Allah is the best of all planners since everything is written. Don't force things, that will only make it worse. May you get everything it is you desire in this world inshallah

  2. I think Allah has given you something better than what you've asked for.

    • Yes.
      You have been blessed.
      look on the bright side.
      Very very very few people are blessed to turn to Allah.
      If you love her truly you will met her in jannah (as a wife).
      Allah will make a clone of her.
      But this clone thing only works for those who love faces.
      But i love someone bcz of their heart.
      I don't know what will be for me.
      Stop making dua to get her instead start making dua to fill your heart with the love of Allah swt.
      Allah's love is so peaceful its utmost serenity.
      I have passed through all this phase.
      But it is the price you must pay to get your heart soft and gentle.
      Also stop praying to get her but pray for her betterment.
      pray for her good naseeb.
      If u love her for her beauty its usual. But if you love her bcz of her heart and (some other things too but they can't be written but u have to feel them) then its special.
      Let her go instead of praying to attain her pray for happiness and other things.

  3. Human beings have free will. This girl has decided not to marry you. That is her choice. Your Dua won't change her choices. Your Dua may change YOU. You should pray for healing and pray that doors open for you. But this girl has moved on and you should too.

  4. As Salam Alaikum,

    May be you should leave her alone, let her realize your value. Allah (Swt) had something better waiting for you, you just have to let go of one thing and look for something.
    Be patience my brothers and sisters.

    “Allah has mentioned patience in the Qur’an in ninety places.”

    The Prophet (sallalaahu 'alayhi wasallam) said “…“Be mindful of Allah, you will find Him in front of you. Become beloved to Allah during times of prosperity, He will know you in times of adversity. Know that what has passed you by was never to befall you. And (know that) what has befallen you was never to have passed you by. And know that victory accompanies perseverance, relief accompanies affliction and ease accompanies hardship”. (At-Tirmidhi Hadith #19 in An-Nawawi's 40 Hadith)


    Umm Salamah narrated that the Prophet (sallalaahu 'alayhi wasallam) said: “There is no Muslim that is afflicted with a calamity, and he says what Allah has commanded him to say: “To Allah we belong and to him we will return! O Allah! Give me the rewards (of being patient over) this calamity, and grant me something better than it to replace it,” except that Allah will give him something better to replace it.”

    Umm Salamah said “So when (my husband) Abu Salamah died, I said this du'a, but could not help thinking, “Who is better than Abu Salamah (i.e. no one can replace Abu Salamah)?” Then the Prophet (sallalaahu 'alayhi wasallam) himself sent me a messenger proposing to me, so Allah blessed me with someone better than Abu Salamah” (Muslim, Abu Dawud, At-Tirmidhi).

    May Allah (swt) grant what is best for us in this life and hereafter and let our heart, mind and soul be content with it.

    Allah hafiz

  5. Hi, what's the update. Can i ask? Going through something similar. You might be the light iam searching for. Please tell me

  6. Going through the same situation I request everyone who is reading this to please remember me in your prayers. You never know who's dua will Allah Swt accepts for whom
    may Allah accept our prayers and fulfill our dreams with khair
    All I am doing now is sabar may Allah bless me with her affection love and acceptance of me and form us into best form of union with peace and harmony
    Allah like lawful things and dislike unlawful things.

    • Asalamualaykum Brother,

      May Allah make your heart's desire good for you in this life and the Akhirah, Ameen.


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