Islamic marriage advice and family advice

when will she be married?

Salat al-Istikhara is a prayer for guidance on a specific issue, while Salat al-Hajah is a prayer for need, to bring your needs to Allah. Sincerity with Allah is the key.

Question:

aoa. my sister is 29 years and my family is worrying about her marriage. her name is shumaila, date of birth 17/11/1981, place of birth is jhang, and mother's name is zubaida begum.

kindly do istikhara of my sister and let me know will this year she get married?

thanks

- shoaibshoaib

Wael's Answer:

Dear Shoaib, as-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullah,

Istikhara is not based on birth dates or mother's names, and it cannot predict the future. These ideas are shirk (association of partners with Allah - a great sin) and they come from outside Islam.

Such ideas come from astrology and numerology. Islam utterly rejects both of these false belief systems. No one can predict the future based on birth dates, star charts, or numerology. Islam came to wipe out these superstitions and bring people back to the pure worship of Allah.

Istikhara must be based on sincere salat and dua' to Allah, asking Him alone for guidance, and trusting Him to help you with the matter at hand.

Please see a question I answered previously here:

Istikhara for marriage based on birth dates and names

Also, please check out the links at the top our website for several good articles on how to perform Istikhara, and to see the actual Istikhara prayer in Arabic, with translations in English and Urdu.

If any readers have some additional advice for this questioner, I invite you to post your comments below.

(O Allah), Guide us to the straight path; The path of those whom you have favored; Not those with whom you are angry; Nor those who go astray.

Best regards,

Wael Abdelgawad, Editor
IslamicAnswers.com Marriage Advice
Zawaj.com Muslim Matrimonial Service


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11 Responses »

  1. asalamu alaikum,

    you can never find out whats happening in the future by doin istikhara, but if you wanna increase your sisters chance of mariage i suggest you join a matromonial site such as shaadi.com, singlemuslim.com etc...

    ma salama

  2. Yeh check it out, I suggest you join more than one site. Also single muslim is suppose
    To be the leading matrimonial site.

  3. Salaam, please trust in Allah SWT and give dua'a for your sisters happy marriage. Remember that Allah SWT controls all and therefore noone knows the unknow. Inshallah your sister will find a pious husband.

    Jazakallah

  4. Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

    Salaam Alaikum wa Rahmatullah

    The advice that Br. Wael has given is sound. We Muslims must stay far away from all types of shirk, and should rely on the true practice of Islam, which is prayer and fasting and good deeds.

    If your sister has reached the age of 29 and is still not married, many things have to be considered. It may be that she simply does not feel the need for marriage. Some women do not have a strong desire for intimate relations, and it may be that she feels happy being her own woman and does not care to have a man in control of her. If she truly has no desire for marriage at this time, then pressuring her will not do any good.

    She should be fulfilling her duty to Allah, which means she should be praying the five daily prayers, fasting in Ramadan, and giving zakah from her income if she is working. She should not be dating men or spending time alone with them, as this is not permissible in Islam. If she enjoys being with men and wants to enjoy intimacy, then she should be encouraged to marry rather than engage in fornication. I think her parents may be in the best position to know her attitude towards this.

    It may be that the family is not presenting good candidates. What does she want out of a husband? A true Muslim woman would want a man who is striving to please Allah, who has a job that is permissible, not having to do with anything forbidden, such as pork, alcohol, or interest, and he should understand that he is responsible for his wife but is not her owner. It may be that she has not found a man who suits her, and she is willing to be patient until Allah brings the right one. Or, she may be being unreasonable and wants a man who is rich and handsome, without regard to his religion, and then she should be advised as to what her priorities should be.

    Without more details, it is hard to give you more specific advice. If your sister seems well adjusted and happy, alhamdulillah. It is good to marry if you want to, but there is nothing wrong if she is not interested in marriage at this time. Perhaps she is not yet willing to give up her independence to take on the duties of wife and possibly mother. Just ask Allah to keep her strong, and make sure everyone in the family is praying and fasting and giving zakah, and don't make this a huge issue in the family. And Allah knows best.

    Fi Aman Allah,

    Sister Noorah,
    Editor, IslamicAnswers.com

  5. dear sis i really was enjong as i was reading ur story i'm reall so sorry 2 hear this but alahmdulah 4 evrything in this lyf we see things n hear things that are strange n in either way we should allwayz thank alah coz this lyf iz test anyway siis tell u sister 2 pry istakara 4 her slef asking alah 2 giv her a good husband salat all istakaraa is da best salah n it's excptable by alah may alah help her in excpites all our ducaa amin ya rab take care

  6. Dear Sister

    May god bless you , Some time i loose my confident by seeing this surrounding and I still i dont have any other options than Allah. Trust and believe in Islam realistics effects,

  7. asalamualiqum
    i feel so lonely.i cant study.what ever i learn i forget during exam. fiananciallly my family is getting worse day by day.my brothers have no good behavior with my mom and we sisters.his name is abdullah khan .DOB is 1st jan 1987. 2nd brother DOB is 13feb 1992.
    the most important thing when will i get married my DOB is 2 feb 1984

  8. my name is...

    [Editor's note: Istikhara is not based on name or birthdate interpretations - these are forms of shirk and have no role in istikhara or Islamic practice. Please read the resources available on this website about istikhara. If you need more advice, please submit your question as a new post for publication, in English if possible - posts are published in English.]

  9. Asslam o alaikum mera nam soobiya ansar hy mere bare m so kia kahyngay ? I m job less or kisi ko pasnd karti hon plz reply.

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