Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Why do my prayers not get fulfilled?

Muslim woman praying

SALAM

There are 5 duas I'm begging ALLAH to get them fulfilled khair o afiat.

But its not happening... my patience level is getting exceeded.

Life is so tough for me. Everyday I wake up I cry to ALLAH to please bestow this blessing on me.

Then throughout the day I silently beg ALLAH in my heart... I WANT it .. I NEED it!

Ba still things are not getting changed. Only ALLAH can get them changed. Then I think ALLAH is not pleased with me,  and that's why he is causing me to suffer. WHAT should I do?! I feel sick. AND sometimes I fall into ingratitude and I know it's so bad to be ungrateful but I'm not. I'm grateful to ALLAH for everything. Because ALLAH is the Most Merciful so I ask this extra blesing.!

Is there anyway to make your dua get accepted?  I've tried many ways, like doing midnite prayers, seeking Shab-e-QAdr and fasts ,,. BUT what should I do??? PLEASE help your little sister.. her life can get changed!

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104 Responses »

  1. salaam alkium siis after reading ur story maa faith 2 allah has encresd,coz allah iz testting u siis 4 how much u can be pashent ,soo keep on making ducaa n asking allah 4 wat u want n inshlah allah will answer u BE STRONG SIIS DONT LET DA SHYTAN WAKNIS U

  2. as-salamualaikum.
    long long time ago when i used to read hadith, i read/heard somewhere something like 3 things happen when you make dua. it's either answered, or a sin/difficulty is removed from you, or you get something in paradise for it. i don't remember the exact words. i think someone can correct me.
    glad the photo here is of a veiled woman.

  3. Salaam My Sister,

    I don't know what result it is that you are looking for - so I cannot be as detailed as I would like to be in my answer.

    What I would say is that what Allah gives us is a body and a mind and when we pray, what we get is a boost of strength and resilience to create in our lives the results that we seek, and what Allah can do is soften hearts, open doors and send angels to our side. If what you desire is something that is good for you, something moral and principled and in line with Islam then Allah will make it easier for you. If it is something that is bad for you, or bad for your morals or for your Islam, Allah will make it more difficult. It is up to you to recognise the good intention from the bad intention and separate desire and worship.

    What we must never forget is that we are here to serve Him. Allah is not a butler, or a servant who delivers all that we seek just because we want it. It matters not how much you agonise and desire something - and He is not there to please you - it's the other way around. We pray so that we can be closer to Him, closer in Iman, in goodness, purified in intention - so that ultimately, in the end, we desire only to be pleasing to Allah, and not to ourselves.

    In the physical and material world you have everything you need to make what you want happen for yourself, and this ability of ours: our human body, our human mind, our fingers, eyes, lips, ears - is the ultimate gift for which we should never ever forget to be grateful for. We are able to do that which no other creature can do: we can learn, we can read, speak, build, write, learn....and so whatever it is that you want: make it happen. Just make sure that it will benefit you spiritually.

    Allah has given you everything you need already. The rest is up to you.

    I advise that you dedicate your next prayer to remembrance of Him and for thanking Him for all that you have. Seek peace, patience and gratitude and whether you get what you want or not: you will still have the love of Allah in your heart and recognition of the blessings you DO have, and less sorrow for that which you don't.

    Peace,

    Leyla
    Editor, Islamic Answers

    • Great to have you back on board Leyla :O) x

    • Wonderful!
      Mashallah! You are right! Allah is not our servant. We should please Him.
      I prayed so much for my Olevels result, but I didn't get a good one.
      I was disheartened but I thought that there must be some good in it. I mean, Allah did what He wished and no one can go against His wishes.

      • Dear Sister,

        I am sorry you didnt get the results you wanted, but the main thing is that you tried your best, right? 🙂

        I know that may not sound comforting right now, but its the truth. Be patient and Allah will show you a path to follow.

        SisterZ
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • my o' levels were the most hectic ones as I had to sit for all my subjects in one session. No one thought i would get good results but i prayed and i tried my best asking Allah that he blesses me with 5 A and alhamdulillah, i got 5 A's. Everyone was surpised. Alhamdulillah.. This was one of the biggest acceptance by the Almighty Allah of my prayers. Alhamdulillah

          • Well done, Ruhijarifa,

            InshaAllah may your good grades be a blessing for you, aameen.

            SisterZ
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • @SisterZ, Yes, I did try my best and Thankyou, you are a really good person to console me 🙂
        Now I have to give exams for 5 subjects next year, and Inshallah, I will get good grades on them.

        @Ruhijarifa, Mashallah, that's a very good result 🙂
        May Allah give success and hapiness to all of us...Ameen ^_^

        I found out this dua, it's called Darood-e-Tanjina
        If you recite it 3000 times, Inshallah your dua will be fulfilled.
        I recited it 3000 times but I didn't got what results I wanted and I'm not angry. Maybe Allah has something better in store for me, or maybe, I think I was doing something sinful that Allah was not pleased with me and now I'm asking for forgiveness.

        • Dear SilentTears (and I hope you will change your name to something happier :O),

          No need to cry, Allah does everything for a reason.

          MaashaAllah you have been reciting and doing dhikr. Just one thing though and I hope you will see sense in what I am saying: if there is no where in the Quran and Sunnah to say that we should recite something a certain number of times, then we must avoid making up such things.

          It is very important when we worship Allah that we do it in the best way, and the best way is the way of our Rasool(sws). So read some authentic books on how Rasool(sws) used to worship Allah and do dhikr and stick to those ways. If someone tells you to read something 1000 times or something like that, it is usually made up.

          It is good to invoke/call upon Allah(swt) by using His(swt) beautiful Names. So instead of repeating His(swt) Names again and again, it is better to actually call Him(swt) by the Name that you are needy of and make dua.

          For eg: "Ya Allah, You are Ar-Rahman (The Compassionate) and Ar-Raheem (The Merciful), I ask You by Your beautiful Names and Attributes - please have Mercy on me. Forgive me my sins and envelop me in Your Mercy and Compassion."

          OR

          "Ya Allah, Al-Mu'min (The Giver of Peace), please give me peace of mind and heart. And Oh Allah, You are Al-Mu'min, please give the people of Palestine live in peace. You(swt) are the Giver of Peace, we find peace only in the rememberance of You(swt).

          OR:

          "O Allah, You are Al-Wahhab (The All Giving) and Al-Alim (The All Knowing). I ask You by Your Glorious Names, to grant me with knowledge that will benefit me in this life and the next and I ask You to grant me with success in my studies of the dunya and of the deen, aameen!

          SisterZ
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • Dear Sister,
            Thankyou for the wonderful information.
            May God Bless you 🙂
            Actually, I also have thought that these kinds of things might be made up.
            We have a really great Islamic book at home(It's in Urdu) and I read the Darood-e-Tanjina Dua in there.

  4. Dear Demi, Asalaamualaykum,

    Whatever your difficulty is or whatever you are not getting is surely a blessing for you, because it is making you turn to Allah so wholeheartedly. It is making you wake up in the middle of the night when all else are sleeping, it is making you beg your Lord, it is making you fast with a passion, making you seek virtous nights like Laylatul-Qadr. I agree with Leyla, in that as you have not mentioned what you are praying for we cannot be specific. Although, it is a general rule that when asking Allah for something, it has to be halaal. If you do not get what you want in the way that you expected it, does not mean Allah has not answered your dua. Allah may give you something better or may give you the reward for turning to Him(swt) in the Hereafter, that would be so beautiful! :O) I have attached an article below:

    ***
    http://www.jannah.org/articles/duah.html

    D U A '

    by Huma Ahmad

    Dua is defined as any invocation or prayer addressed to Allah (SWT). In our times, we find many reasons why people do not make Dua; we forget, don't know how, or just do not think it will be answered. Fundamental to this is the loss of dependence and trust upon Allah. As Muslims there is something very wrong when we believe our Duas won't be answered.

    We do not turn to Allah in our times of need and instead put our trust, dependence and hopes on worldly things that we think will help us. Although these temporal things are the means through which our Duas can be answered, the root of our being should be trained automatically to turn to Allah and not anything or anyone else. Through Dua, we strengthen our Imaan and our relationship with Allah, as well as heighten our awareness of cause and effect that can help inspire and motivate us to be closer to Islam in our lives.

    We find many reassurances throughout the Quran for those who make Dua. Allah the Exalted, has said: "And your
    Lord says: Pray unto me: and I will hear your prayer" (Quran 40:60), "Call upon your Lord Humbly and in secret" (Quran 7:55), "When My servants question thee concerning Me, I am indeed close (to them): I listen to the prayer of every suppliant when he calleth on Me" (Quran 2:186), "Is not He (best) who listens to the (soul) distressed when it calls on Him, and who relieves its suffering." (Quran 27:62)

    Aisha radhiallaahu anha said, "No believer makes Dua and it is wasted. Either it is granted here in this world
    or deposited for him in the Hereafter as long as he does not get frustrated."

    In fact, it is even wrong to never make Dua, "Whosoever does not supplicate to Allah, He will be angry with Him."
    [Saheeh Jaami`as-Sagheer #2414]

    A Hadith says "Ad-Du'aa Huwal-3ibaadah",[Abu Dawud,at-Tirmidhi, Hasan Saheeh], Dua is Ibadah so calling
    upon anyone other than Allah in one's Dua is Shirk. This is an important condition of having one's Dua accepted; the Dua should not be directed to other than Allah alone. A second condition would be sincerity or Hudoor alqalb, having the heart present. Also, one's food, drink, clothes and lifestyle should be Halal. One should avoid unlawful, impious or forbidden sources or means of livelihood. Fourth, one cannot ask for something sinful or Haram. Dua should not be made against family and property (i.e. to sever the ties of kinship).

    If one asks Allah to curse someone, it rises up to heaven and goes to the person if they are deserving, if not it returns to the person supplicating. Patience is another condition. This perseverance in making Dua is important. One should not say "Why hasn't Allah answered my Dua" or "I have prayed and prayed so many times, but the same was not accepted" and then become disappointed and give up praying. An example of this is like a person who planted a seed or a sapling, and kept looking after it and watering it and when its complete shape and
    height was slow in coming, they left it and forgot about it.

    Lastly one should have expectation, belief with certainty only Allah can answer the Dua. Understanding dependence on Allah and asking with absolute resolve and believing with certainty that one's Dua will be answered is a also a condition of acceptance. One should not say "O Allah do this...if you wish..." because one should appeal to Allah with determination, for nobody can force Allah to do something against his Will. If one fulfills these conditions, Allah will definitely answer the Dua, avert some equivalent evil or give better in the Hereafter.

    We can and should make Dua in every condition, i.e. in hardship and in prosperity. There are also some special
    times to make Dua where it is more likely to be accepted:
    1. When one is oppressed
    2. Between the time of Athan and Iqama
    3. At the time of the call for prayer
    4. At the time of fighting when warriors are engaged with
    each other
    5. When it is raining
    6. When one is sick
    7. The last third of the night
    8. Ramadan (especially Lailatul Qadr)
    9. After the Fard part of prayer
    10. When traveling
    11. When breaking fast
    12. In Sujood
    13. Fridays, some say on Friday after Asr prayer
    14. While drinking the water from the well of Zamzam
    15. At the start of prayer (Dua of Istiftah)
    16. When one begins the prayer, i.e. with "all praise be to
    Allah, the Pure and the Blessed one"
    17. While one recites al-Fatiha (which is a Dua)
    18. When Ameen is said in the prayer (also relating to Fatiha)
    19. At the time of raising the head after the Rukoo
    20. In the last part of the prayer after conveying blessings
    unto the Prophet (SAW)
    21. Before finishing the prayer (before Tasleem (saying the
    Salaam to the angels))
    22. At the end of Wudu
    23. On the day of Arafah
    24. On waking up from sleep
    25. At times of adversity
    26. Prayer after the death of a person
    27. Dua when someone's heart is filled with sincerity and
    when it is focused on Allah
    28. Dua of the parent against or for his children
    29. When the sun moves from its meridian but before the
    Dhuhr prayer
    30. The Dua of a Muslim for his brother without the latter's
    knowledge
    31. At the time the army advances to fight in the way
    of Allah.

    Dua can be beautified and perfected by certain actions:

    1. Have Wudu, face Qibla, be neat and clean
    2. Raise both hands up to the shoulder with palms open facing up
    3. Use words of Allah and Muhammad (SAW)-
    i.e. Duas found in Quran and Hadith
    4. Ask by Asma alHusna- Allah's Beautiful Names
    5. Ask Allah by your good deeds
    6. Be insistent-repeat (i.e. 3x's)
    7. Glorify Allah and recite Durud for the Prophet (SAW) at
    both the beginning and end
    8. Show humility, entreaty, desire and fear while making Dua
    9. Repent and try to make amends where one has wronged
    10. Confess mistakes, shortcomings, and sins
    11. Keep voice between a whisper and speaking aloud
    12. Show the need for Allah's help and implore Him for release
    from weakness, hardship and tribulation.
    13. Seize the opportunity of time, situation and circumstance in
    which prayers are answered
    14. Avoid rhymed prose to keep concentration
    15. Crying when making Dua
    16. The Dua of Dhun-Nun (Yunus) by which he invoked Allah from within the belly of the whale was: "LAa ilaha illa Anta, Subhanaka innee kuntu min aDH-DHaalimeen." No Muslim ever makes Dua with it but Allah answers it." [at tirmidhi in his sunan, ahmad and hakim reported it and hakim declared it authentic and adh dhahabee agreed]
    17. End with "Alhamdulillah rabbil alameen"

    We should ask for Dunya things, but not just for the sake of Dunya itself and for Akhirah things. We should not ask for punishment to be brought forward in this world or for early death. We should not curse any particular human being or animal, abuse a Muslim for no reason, abuse dead people without cause and religious excuse, or abuse fever or the wind. We should not make Dua by saying we have been given rain by this or that star or what Allah willed, and so and so willed. We should not make Dua against family and property or for sinful acts and severing the bonds.

    In the end there can be reasons why the Dua might not be answered such as not fulfilling conditions like some of
    the ones listed above or: Divine Wisdom, trying to hurry the response of one's Dua, Dua for what is sinful or the breaking off of relations, eating, drinking, or dressing from what is Haram, not being resolute in making Dua, abandoning the duty of enjoining what is good and shunning the evil, the dominance of unmindfulness, lust and vain desires, not being submissive during Salah, or committing particular sins (not divorcing a vile woman, giving a loan without a witness, and a man who gave his wealth to the foolish)

    ***

    Hope you found the article useful, keep doing dua and remember that Allah knows best.

    SisterZ
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • SisterZ And Leyla,

      Both Have Written Inspiring Advices, May Allah (Swt) Reward You For This Immensely Ameen.

      x

    • @ Sister Z: Regarding your response above, I have some questions:
      1. What do you meant by "Dua of Istiftah" at the beginning of the prayer?
      2. The points 16 thru 21 are all mentioned DURING the prayer...if I ask Allah my needs and desires etc during the prayer, am I not "polluting" (for lack of a better word) my prayer. I was always taught just the arabic words for praying but when I make duas from my heart, I use a mixture of Arabic + English + my mother tongue bec I can express myself best in the language I grew up with and then if I cry during the prayer also, will that not "spoil" (again, for the lack of a better word) my prayer?

      Please explain what you meant. Thanks

      • Dear Serendipity, Asalaamualaykum and thank you for your questions regarding the information.

        1. 'Istiftah' is something we all do without realising. It is the opening dua of our Salaah. The following article expains it better:

        Information taken from: http://sunnahaday.wordpress.com/2010/10/21/sunnah-134-dua-al-istiftah/

        "Du’a al-istiftah" means the opening supplication. It is a sunnah act of prayer and helps ease our mind before starting to recite Qur’an. It is said after “Allahu akbar” when beginning the prayer.

        There are two du’as the Prophet (pbuh) used to say:

        اللهم باعد بيني وبين خطاياي كما باعدت بين المشرق والمغرب اللهم نقني من خطاياي كما ينقى الثوب الأبيض من الدنس اللهم اغسلني
        من خطاياي بالثلج والماء والب

        "Allahumma baa’id bayni wa bayna khataayaaya kama baa’adta bayna al-mashriqi wa’l-maghrib. Allahumma naqqini min khataayaaya kama yunaqqa al-thawb al-abyad min al-danas. Allaahumma ighsilni min khataayaaya bi’l-thalji wa’l-maa’i wa’l-barad."

        “O Allah, put a great distance between me and my sins, as great as the distance You have made between the East and the West. O Allah, cleanse me of sin as a white garment is cleansed from filth. O Allah, wash away my sins with snow and water and hail.” (Bukhari)

        And:

        سبحانك اللهم وبحمدك وتبارك اسمك وتعالى جدك ولا إله غيرك

        "Subhanaka Allahuma wabi hamdik, wata-baraka ismuk, wa ta’ala jad-duka wala ilaha ghyruk."

        “Glory be to you, O Allah, and all praises are due unto You, and blessed is Your name and high is Your majesty and none is worthy of worship but you.” (Sahih Jami`)

        Some scholars have said that because the first du’a was narrated by Abu Hurayra (ra), the Prophet (pbuh) said this du’a in the fardh (obligatory) prayers as he always prayed the obligatory prayers in the mosque. The second du’a was narrated by Aisha (ra), which scholars have said means he recited the du’a when he prayed the sunnah (optional) prayers, as he frequently prayed those at home. Allah knows best.


        *** I always recite the second dua as my opening dua in Salaah, because I did not know till recently that we can recite something else and also as I only know this one by heart.

        2) From what I have learnt at my courses, my understanding is this: while we are in Sujood we are recommended to make lots of dua. Our Rasool(sws) used to stay in this position for a long time as he was making dua. We can make dua in any language that we can communicate in. I always make my dua in English or if I know any relevant ayahs by heart which are duas or seeking forgiveness then I recite them in Arabic or English: for example: 'La Ilaha Illa Anta Subhanaka Inni Kuntu Min Az Zaalimeen', translated as: "There is no god but You, You are far exalted and above all weaknesses, and I was indeed the wrongdoer." And yes, we can cry when we are making dua.

        However when we are praying the other parts of Salaah and are praising Allah, we should be focussing on that. So we should avoid crying due to our worldly issues (I too am guilty of this, but when the heart is heavy, its difficult to control but we should and must). If we are crying because we understand the meaning of the Ayah and are responsing to it or are crying at Allah(swt)'s Mercy and Blessings, this is different - but even then we should avoid crying heavily. Just remember, that while we are praying Salaah, our main focus should be on what we are reciting and the best way to do try and ensure that is to understand the meaning. And Allah knows best.

        I hope that made some sense. Please remember I am just a layperson and all I have conveyed to you is what I know from my own limited understanding through my Islamic classes and reading. So please do not stop your research here. Read up more on this topic and feel free to share your findings here inshaAllah.

        SisterZ
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • Thanks, Sister Z. I appreciate your response - the duas that the Prophet SAW made that you mentioned above are beautiful and will be part of my collection of duas - not only for use during the prayers but at other times as well.

  5. hello sisters i have a problem to do with hair on my face i have a little bit of hair on my upper lip and i dont know what to do i am praying to allah lots of times i have even fasted so many times but can you please give me advise on what i can do so allah hears and accepts my prayer of making sure that the hair is not visable thankyou.

    • Shilpa,

      It is a little strange that you have submitted a question like this on a relationship advice wesbite. It is even more strange that you think that fasting is going to remove hair from your upper lip.

      Most women use the technique of threading. It takes no more than a few seconds and the hair will vanish. If you do not know how to do it yourself, see a beautician who can do it for you.

      Hope you're feeling better now ;O)

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • SisterZ, are you allowed to reveal these feminine secrets to the public at large? Isn't that breaking some kind of code?

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • Wael,
          I think some men have tried it too, lol.

          Shilpa,
          I apologise for laughing, your query made me giggle a little. May Allah forgive me.

          My brother just gave me a frown and reminded me that perhaps you are mistaken that Islamically it is not permitted for a woman to remove hair. If this is the case, this is a misconception. There are prohibitions on plucking/threading eyebrows (hence I am painfully trying not to do mine anymore and now I resemble a monster, not a sight for sore eyes, lol). You can remove hair everywhere else, just be careful to choose the right method.

          As for praying, of course always pray. Allah will make it easier for you to accomplish whatever you want when you choose the right path and rememeber Him(swt). (Even I have asked Allah to make the growth of my eyebrows neater and for good skin, shh, lol!). Thats not vanity, its just part of being a woman. Insight in to the crazy mind of a women, lol.

          Salaams

          SisterZ
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • its ok sister but the reason why i fasted was that i wanted to ask allah to forgive me as i did do threading and after i did it i found out it was a grave sin that is why i fasted i just wanted to know is that enough or will i need to do more and i didnt know that this was a relatinship website lol 🙂

            salam

  6. Shilpa,

    Threading is not forbidden. It is only forbidden to remove hair from your eyebrows.

    I'm sure Allah does not want us to resemble grizzly bears and hence look like men, lol.

    May Allah accept your sincere intentions of fasting though :O) x

    SisterZ
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  7. slm sisters,

    I feel your pain sisters:( well articulated my dear sister Z as i'm also excersising such resistence. One of the hardest test of self control yet!!!

    At least its a step closer to Allah and if we pass this test amongst others we wouldnt have to worry about facial hairs in jannah inshaallah.

    H
    xxx

    • Lol, we should start up the caterpillar eyebrow club, haha.

      Painful, but Alhumdulillah, if its a step closer to Allah, then its worth it.

      May Allah keep us strong!

      I can't believe I'm discussing my eyebrows on this forum, lol.

      x

      • Lol!
        Allow me to join in the caterpillar eyebrow club too 😀
        I also have facial hair but I never thought of praying for getting rid of my facial hair.

        Besides, Real beauty lies inside of you. I'm sure all of us have heard this so many times.
        There is also a Hadith on it, 'God does not regard your beauty nor your posessions, He regards your heart and your actions.'

      • How much does it cost to join the caterpillar eyerbow club? I want to be a member. lol
        Okay this a big help- seeing im not the only female who is struggling and extremely painfully resisting removing eyebrow hair.

        I must say, i have tried desperately to find some loophole..seems like no scholar has classified this hadith as Dhaeef...And so no loopholes were found. 🙁 Lol!

        I seriously classify this as a major trial for us...wouldn't ya agree sisters?! lol

        May the almighty reward us and keep us steadfast upon the deen and help us overcome the temptation to fall into anything which he/his messenger prohibited for us, Ameen.

        Was salaam

        • Extremely major test!

          The number of times I've got hold of that tweezer and thread....grrr.

          And one of my caterpillars is different to the other one!

          Lol...dilemmas of womanhood.

          SisterZ
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • Its disgusting that when people are burying their children due to hunger in Africa you think this is a major test. You should be ashamed. Would you complain of this major test to the Prophet (s) when our brothers and sisters don't have food to eat and are going through wars. I wonder what our Prophet (s) would say.

          • 'Z',

            You honestly need to chill out. This eyebrow discussion is very clearly nothing but abit of very light banter and my comment of 'major test' is also a joke - although you have now killed the joke. We are all tested in different ways and not doing my eyebrows is testing for me - albeit a small one.

            But of course the people suffering from starvation in Africa and all the other parts of the world is what a real major test is, may Allah quench their thirst and improve their condition; may He(swt) also make us financially capable ones generous enough to help those less fortunate than us.
            There is and was no comparison.

            Seriously Sis - chill.

            SisterZ
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • I want to join the caterpillar eyebrow club also! lol its been atleast a year since I plucked my eyebrows and inshAllah I will never do it again! I do have hair on my upper lip because of a hormone problem and I always waxed it off with guilt because I thought that it was not permissible to do that but now since I know that it is, I am relaxed. Thank you so much for this info!

          • Sis, if anything, it is mustahab to remove the feminine beard and mouche! I know this is not the place for beauty tips but I really feel the need to warn you sister strawberryfields with regards to waxing the upper lip. It can cause the skin to loosen there as well as cause a bruise like mark which stays there permanently. A lot of ladies have waxed their upper lip only regret it for the rest of their life. I know threading is more painful but thats your best option,. 🙂

            Was salaam

          • Salaam sister, do not normally comment but the 'scientist/endocrinologist' in me is coming out. lol
            Have you been tested for PCOS? If not get tested (ultra sound testing is used to confirm diagnosis.) There are also numerous treatments which can help - the pill is one (but some girls don't like this.) If your only symptom is hirsutism (excess hair) and your hair is dark, skin is light-ish try laser hair removal if you can afford it (find a reputable beautician). Alternatively you could try natural remedies to remove hair (Bina Khan's hair removal remedies are supposedly good BUT research them first!) Also increasing intake of low GI foods may be useful. Check with your doctor first of course. And removing hair is permissible as long as its not from the eyebrows. (Space between eyebrows is ok to remove though). I think I should be a member of this caterpillar club - lol. I agree its so hard and I feel pretty ugly but InshaAllah the reward will be worth it. On hindsight though getting them done is hassle - you get uneven eyebrows or they do them too thin which caused arguments. So focus on the reward of not doing them and the hassle of doing them. May Allah give us patience
            Ameen

            As its against the policy of the site to comment I should not comment further. (Sorry to the editors)
            Sara
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • Omg, Can I please join as well :D? I am a perfectionist (the most annoying thing ever!) and eyebrows can never be the same (hence SisterZ catepillars are different haha) so whenever I would do them they would never be the same and i'd end up being all fkgdgfhg (angry!). But I'm trying my best to resist the temptation to not thread but it's so difficult especially when the stray hairs start coming out :(.

            -Helping Sister

          • Lol...lets post pictures of our eye brows on this website...haha, who has the worst. Just joking...before I get my head bitten off again!! :O)
            x

  8. Going back to the main question, which is why dua's don't always get fullfilled, I've been asking myself this question A LOT lately, particuarly since this year is now ending, and its been a year filled with joy followed by hurt and heartache. Here are my thoughts on the issue.

    I think someone posted on here once, that muslims tend to think of dua's as magic spells -- we say our dua's and abracadabra God answers them and everthing works out the way we wanted. I agree that muslim children have been taught to perceive dua's in that manner, and it follows us into adulthood. I have always had an enormous amount of faith in the power of dua. Maybe that is because my life's trials have been few, and when I have been tested God has come through for me. However, this year, after YEARS of waiting for a husband, I met a man who unfortunately was not muslim and I allowed myself to fall in love, hoping that he would accept Islam as he was good-hearted, intelligent, and cared about me deeply, and plus his father was muslim. I made the difficult decision to separate when I realized this wasn't possible, and I remain heartbroken. (for all you reading this who can't wait to pass judgement on me: it wasn't a physical relationship, he respected my islamic values).

    After the heartbreak, my prayers to Allah have been endless. At this stage, it doesn't matter whether my love changes his mind and comes back to me; I just want the heartache to go away, and I want patience and healing. I pray for that day and night. I'm giving up a lot more than just the man I love...I turn 40 in a few days....I'm giving up my dream of getting married, having children, living my life with someone who will take care of me and cherish me. A bottomless pit cannot hold the sorrow that I feel. I've been praying for 10 years for a family of my own, and despite my efforts (yes, before you say anything, i did make many efforts, although I did not have the support of my family) no muslim man was ever interested in me.

    Several months of constant praying, and my heartache, sorrow and grief remain. I am starting to lose hope in a sunrise! I think that God does hear me, though - of that, I have no doubt.

    But I keep praying! At this painful, dark chapter of my life, I wonder if there is a purpose as to why God does not answer my prayers. I don't know what that purpose is. I believe that God listens to our prayers. I am not certain if prayers change destiny. I do believe that the act of making the prayer/dua brings comfort to our souls on a temporary basis, and who knows what the Hereafter will bring. Does that mean we look forward to death, when we (Insha'Allah) go to Paradise and all our desires will be fulfilled? That's a question I'm grappling with right now. Perhaps our dua's really are stored for the Hereafter, and in this life we just toil along. I don't wish to start 2011 looking forward to my death! Maybe there is a sunrise in my future. Maybe 2011 will bring hope and light again to my life....I don't know; at the moment there is only darkness. But unfortunately I am starting to conclude that it is unlikely that I will attain what I want.

    Our somewhat naive belief in dua leads us to conclude that a miracle can happen anyday. Close friends have reassurred me, in recent days, that something good is waiting for me around the corner. Well, I believe in miracles, but I also believe that they do not happen that often. My mother loves me dearly and prays for me every day, and makes so much dua for me! I am truly blessed in that regard. Will her dua's be answered? She has had a hard life, so part of me thinks that yes, God will answer her duas about me, because she loves me so much and just wants to see me happy and have my heartache disappear. But like me, my mom has been praying for over 10 years. She even prays that the man I love comes back to me, and that it all works out (Islamically, that is). When it comes to dua, the sky is the limit - God loves us and wants us to beg to him so he can be merciful in return -- but I wonder if He operates outside of reality. I really question that; south asian muslims in particular believe that God does operate outside of reality, but i"m not so sure. For the last 10 years, not a single man has been interested in me...there's always something...I'm not pretty enough, i'm not tall enough, I'm too educated, i'm too independent, I'm too shy, blah blah blah. I don't agree with any of the latter points (except the part about being independent, lol), but that is the reality I have faced from the muslim community (in person and online). Given my age of 40, and my current heartbreak, part of me feels that God is trying to tell me that my dua's WILL NOT be answered and that I am fighting my own destiny. Maybe this was the purpose of my heartache, for me to understand that the status quo over the last 10 years was what was destined for me but I was too arrogant to accept it.

    So in this sense, when you make sincere heartfelt dua, without even knowing it you engage in some soul-searching of your own! Perhaps that is one of the purposes of Dua...and if you come to some conclusions about your own life during that process, then in essence your duas have been answered.

    I just wish I knew why my prayers all these years were not granted, why the prayers I made when I met my beloved was not accepted (i.e. to make things right for us), and why my prayers since I lost him and entered this darkness have not been accepted. I ask myself these questions every day. I was always a nice, "good' girl, and I felt that I had a close relationship to God my entire life. So I never doubted that God would give me a family of my own, rather than force me to live my life alone and without people who care about me and love me. But I do keep praying nonetheless.

    Anyway, these are just my musings over the concept and role of dua, triggered by the question above and other questions I was reading today in the same category. I hope they are of benefit to those readign this and those who want to use dua to make significant changes in their life. God is great.

    • sorry, i just wanted to add to my post above from yesterday - despite all that i've written, I have read and re-read The Cave, from the Quran, and know about the story of Musa and Khadr. Surely there is a reason that only Allah knows, as to why things turn out the way they do. In that story, Musa saw the beneficial results in his lifetime.

    • OMG! what does that mean.?
      can u temme in detail about ur dua and stuff... i want to listen!
      cux similar is my dua but m young yet.!
      i think dua is a mircale... and all i think is even if i get 40 ALLAH will reverse time for me and things will be okay;
      I mean i just found now , last year, that ,marriage is important. And form Holy Prophet's hadis that marriage should be based on four things:
      1: religious/ piety (hardly ppl care dese days)
      2: wealth (care)

      • continuation:

        3: nobility (duh its countable)
        4: beauty! ( hahaha!) core of marriage i think

        thats y i am concentrating on fourth point so much that m going crazy.
        then i think it makes sense, a handsome guy ofcourse deserves a beautiful wife or else he wont be attracted. then i think ALLAH made even the lions and other animals so pretty then why not us all?

        BUT I ALSO think of seeking the hereafter and geting in the FOREMOST CATEGORY! and QURAN says this world is play and amusement, but marriage is MUST right!? i mean m asking ALLAH to make me extra ordinary pretty (EXTRA) just for HIs sake and OUT OF HIS MERCY ., cux HE is the MOST MErciful.. and i remember from QURAN, HAzrat YOusaf father's saying: "dont ever give up of ALLAH's MErcy and who he gives up of HIs MErcy is astray"
        so can sumbody tell me what to do? shall i continue asking or think about hereafter and intense hope of JANNAH and beauty of a HOOR.! i mean , like my mom says this world is requirement!...
        GOSH i dont wanna disappoint my mom. i never do. form nursery m taking first positons and making her happy. and m not the type to tell her to pray for this thing of mine, m ashamed.
        CRY CRY CRY!
        PLEase ALLAH i beg ur pardon and PLEASE ALLAH out of YOur GRAND MERCY, just a lawful pleasure of life i ask for Your SAKE. for my mom.

        I know guys are only interested in fair colour, shiny done hair , tall height, big beautiful eyes, perfect nose and perfect smile. WHAT DID I MISS? I am not saying i ve these or not. My list is half complete and my objective is to get it all and enter the market. IS it a fair objective.? tell me please?
        and PPL among my 5 duas one of my dua is get perfect eyesight again cux i ve glasses of 3 or more. AND I HAD perfect sight, till i ruined it by playing excessive stupid games. none forbid me harshly, is it my fault? ofcourse its my fault and i suffer. more painful is the part that ALLAH has blessed me with very beautifull eyes, with long lashes, but now its just hidden and gone.
        whoever is reading do this dua for me, please. who knows ALLAH accepts ur invocation for me, and when ALLAH cures my sight, I ask ALLAH to bless and fulfill all wishes of that person who did it. JAZAKALLAH
        now a miracle happens inshallah!

    • Dear lovely Precious Star,
      I have been reading ur posts and comments for a long time now. Whenever I read things from u it just gives me hope and confidence, and I learn something from it. U seems very strong and patient, in fact ur a good role model to other women and me. Thank you.
      This is for u my dearest role model:
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfXIF2Mm2Kc&ob=av2e

      Listen to it and hope u like it.

      U, confusedpuzzled and others r in my prayers, may Allah give u the best of this life and hearafter.

    • How can I delete submitted comment

  9. Dear Demi,
    There are some things that are COMPLETELY out of your control, and there are some things that are in your control.

    If you have a problem with your eyesight, then Allah SWT has given us medical knowledge. So seek help through medical specialists - there are lots of options these days, such as lasers. But I really doubt that prayer alone will reverse your medical condition. Be happy - many young women in parts of the world don't even have eyeglasses.

    You are still quite young. Your future is unfolding as I write this. Don't worry; keep praying, and keep trying, and things will work out.

    Although i believe dua's can work miracles, I haven't seen a lot of miracles in my life. I am very heartbroken, but I believe some day Allah SWT will pull me out of this!

    • dont be heart broken!
      look that day i was reading QURAN! and the story of MOSA was there. it was written that ALLAH returned MOsa's mother to him, when he was taken to Firoun's house, as a comfort for her eye and to show that ALLAH never breaks HIs promise.
      so what does this teach us?
      that ALLAH never causes us to sufer or distress.!
      and miracles are always hapening , the way DNA replicates is a very miracle. SUBHANALLAH>

      i mean everything happens with ALLAH's permission., so miracels is sth put of ordniary but with ALLAH's permission.
      so i wont get a laser operation, cux i had good sight but i ruined it and m sorry from my heart and since ALLAH is ABle to do ALL things and says BE and it is. so m gonna wait till ALLAH helps me out.
      n u must be very strong that LALAH chose u for all this, which i dont know.!
      ALLAH make me strong and steadfast in faith and make me one of the righteous and all others too!

  10. Salam Precious

    I pray things work out for you soon and that the pain you feel is removed with immediate relief, maybe Allah will place a husband for you that is most deserving of you and that special someone would be worth. I don't know maybe Allah will give you such a husband in the hereafter and it will be worth it as the hereafter is everlasting but I pray that He blesses you with such a husband who is favourable for you now and soon. Ameen (prayers for other Muslims, Insha Allah will be accepted).

    I think the reason I understand your frustration is that I have been going through something similar, although I am younger, I have been getting proposals but I am not happy with them and I had some family issues to deal with and eventually seeing most my age married with children was utterly depressing. But, in the meantime, I have been quite occupied learning both academically and islamically but still there is an emptiness within and the problem is now just me to overcome some fears. (I humbly request duas also because I barely trust anyone, and maybe I am a bit paranoid also)

    Have you tried performing salaah hajaat? This is the prayer of need. Wish you the very best in both worlds. massalam

    • Thank you so much Sisterly and Demi.
      Yes, I have prayed Salaat ul Hajaa. And Tahajjud. And every other prayer you can imagine!
      God has His own timetable. The knowledge that my prayers may not be answered until the Hereafter is both comforting and depressing. God has created mates, He has created LOVE, He has created women with wombs to bear children....but all this may be deferred for me in this life. The reality is that sometimes we want something badly, but if it is not destined for us then we can pray and pray and it won't happen. Such is life.
      Right now, I am going through the worst heartbreak of my life. I am in darkness. I have loved a man and lost him, very recently. And I prayed SO HARD that things would work out for us. But through this process I am truly recognizing the power of God -- that He will grant us what He feels is right for us, or, that He will withold something as a punishment for what I have done in the past.
      I read the story of Musa and his mother....the Quran said to his mother that Allah keeps his promises. Allah soothed Musa's mother and in the midst of her grief He brought baby Musa back to her. Truly, there are miracles in this life and I pray that I, and other women like me, benefit from such miracles!

      God is great.

      • As salamu alaykum Precious Star,

        May Allah bless you with all what is good for you to fulfill your task in your life time, insha´Allah.

        Please give yourself the time you need to mourn the lost love, that is necessary to heal the wounds and turn them into precious experience that will give you the opportunity of flourishing once again in your life.

        40´s is a beautiful age in a woman´s life and you still have time in this life to find your mate and have children insha´Allah. 40´s will give you a special feeling, maturity will bring you qualities that only come at the right time, you will understand many process going around of you, a new shine in all your being, that will come after the darkness you talk about, insha´Allah.

        Alloud yourself to flourish, to feel all the beauty of life through all your senses, someone that shines doesn´t go without being noticed, alloud yourself to shine. Through your words I see you are a wonderful woman just going through a tough time in your life, live this mourning and move on, embrace the beauty and the shine that is waiting for you after this darkness, and after the first smile that you will notice it comes from your Heart, you will begin to see how the clouds around you, become to dissapear, the sun is there behind the clouds, Alhamdulillah!

        I know it is not easy, but I see you are strong woman ready to go through this, learning what you have to learn and going for the next step. Focus on being your best, spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically speaking, and I am sure you will attract what is best for you, insha´Allah

        This darkness is just a test to prove your endurance, to go deeper in your Unconditional Love and Respect to Allah(swt), to become the best you can be and to gain experience, I know, you Know all of this already, you sound wise when you speak, please alloud yourself to shine you will know when it is the right time for you, there are so much waiting for you in the Light, insha´Allah.

        All my unconditional Love and Respect,

        María

        • thank you so much for your beautiful words. Yes I am in deep mourning because I thought finally at this late age in my life God brought me a wonderful man -- and he was wonderful but we couldn't work out our religious difference -- but it was not to be. Thank you for your encouragement.

  11. I had an interesting experience last night. While I was sleeping, all night, whenever I woke up briefly, I said the following words to myself:
    God has not forsaken you, nor has He become displeased with you,
    And surely what comes after is better for you than that which has gone before.
    And soon God give you so that you shall be well pleased.

    These are the verses from Sura 93, Ad-Duha (Morning Bright).
    I did not even realize I was saying them to myself all night, until I woke up this morning. All night, whenever my eye opened from sleep, I would say these words to myself -without thinking, they were just there, on my tongue.

    I think this is so interesting! I kept reassuring msyelf that God has not abandanoned me, He has forgiven me, and He is bringing me something good soon!

    Today, I am pondering over the meaning of this. Am I scared, and that is why I kept saying these words, to reassure myself? Or, after so many months of darkness, Allah SWT is now telling me that the time has come that He will give me an exit to my grief and sadness that has enveloped me for so many months now?

    Maybe I am thinking too much and I should just let it be.

    • Yes, you are thinking too much. Alhamdulillah, it's a blessing when you wake up with the Quran on your tongue! But your thinking is correct, Insha'Allah. After every difficulty comes ease. It seems that your heart is now ready to move on from the difficulty, and to experience the ease.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Sister,

      I would be very happy if awoke reciting these words...!

      Take it as a blessing and pray you always wake up reciting words from the Quran.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • As salamu alaykum Precious Star,

      You were scared, you are not now, you sounds so different now, ... Thank you very much for sharing.

      Barak Allah feek, my Precious Shining Star.

      María

  12. i wanna make a change in my above blog.
    indeed my prayers get fulfiled! alot and many are fulfilled in perfect manner, thanks to the grace of ALLAH!
    thank you ALLAH millions and more infinte times!! 😀

  13. Assalam u alaikum Dearest Precious star,
    Ramadan Kareem...
    Somewhere deep down i understand what you are feeling and going through. But reading your post i felt really good knowing that you are so soft hearted and so sincerely devoted to Allah(s.w.t). MashaAllah you are independent for which i long because depending on others is even worse. Let me tell you a story which i see everyday around me.
    The place i live in has a caretaker. She is 44 years old. She has all her family alive. But all of them abandoned her after her husband's death. They took away all her money and tortured her so much mentally and in all ways that she ran for her life and is staying as a care taker now in this house. She has a daughter who is married and can't even come to meet her let alone of helping her. She is uneducated but was living a happy and wealthy life before. And now she takes care of everything here and just gets food to eat . That's it. She is not allowed to talk to anybody nor can go out anywhere. She is living a miserable life . These people even treat her badly because they know she has nobody to go to.
    So just look at the positive aspects and maybe it will help.
    I too do the same . If i have something good i count on those blessings and the moment becomes more light.
    May Allah help you.
    Masalaam

    • salaams sister muslim. Yes i try to look for the silver lining! Alhamdolillah, I have never had any tragedies in my life, and I am healthy and able-bodied. My mom says I should just be grateful for my health and my job. I am very grateful for those things. But life is meant to blossom in a certain way. For me, life did not blossom, and in fact i got hurt along the way. So I am praying a lot during this month of Ramadan that somehow I stop hurting and accept what is. I have a long life ahead of me, and I am not looking forward to it - it just looks bleak right now, and I know the years ahead will be worse as my parents will be getting older and are in their twilight years, and I will watch my nephews and nieces get married and have big weddings and start families of their own, while I will remain alone. It is only now dawning on me that life is not meant to be enjoyable for everyone..but that is Allah's destiny...Insha'Allah He will place acceptance in my heart soon so I can at least have the strength to deal with the coming years. I am really hoping that I will be in a different state of mind by the end of Ramadan. (Well, I was hoping that last Ramadan too, but you never know!)

      • Precious Star,
        I read your whole story and I feel very sad for you,
        I hate seeing people in turmoil.
        Don't worry, you're not alone.
        I know, it's hard to get happy and be all joyfull when you are going through a hard time.
        Inshallah, Allah will do better for you and for everyone else.
        You are never ever alone, Allah is Always there for you.
        It's really really hard to get positive in a very difficult situation.
        Maybe you will get your reward for all the duaas you made in the Hereafter. Surely, Allah is not ignoring your Duas.
        I will pray for you, honest!
        It's time for Isha prayer and I will pray for you 🙂

      • Wasalam,
        Yes, dear sister. You never know . InshaAllah you will feel better. Everything you say is so natural and so true. The least i can do is to pray for you , together with myself so that we accept the situation . And i hope it brings peace to our hearts.As whatever is destined it's always there. But always do think that Allah(s.w.t) knows better and always does what ever is best for us. So we never know what blessings are there in these situations which we face.
        May Allah(s.w.t) ease your pain and grant you His blessings. InshaAllah
        Masalaam

  14. I don't know where to begin .

    I was googling " bad results leading to suicide " and got over here . I destroyed myself . I just got my A'level results and they are soooooooo pathetic . I never once in my life thought of this day .

    From the beginning , I was a very good student . Always getting top grades . My father is M.D and my mother is gynecologist . My parents always expected something brilliant from me and I always came up to their expectations until now . Instead of getting A's , I ended up with bunch of B's and C's . My parents are influential people with a very high social status . If I told them about my results , they would be extremely depressed and disappointed . I would bring embarrassment to them .

    It's been two days since the release of results and I haven't told them yet . I am thinking of suicide now . I think it is better for me to put a gun in my mouth and blow my head off or jump off a building . I even tried it and got severely injured , getting fractures over my left arm and left leg .

    I cannot face my parents now . It is too hard to do . I received a conditional scholarship from one of the Ivy league colleges . I am not getting that anymore . I wanted to become a M.D , just like my father but all is doomed , doomed and doomed . I tried so hard for this and got miserably failed . I cannot even look my self into the mirror now . I think , I don't deserve to live any more , I am a waste of space , I am pathetic , a piece of garbage .

    I haven't slept for 26 hours . I have thrown away my phone , deleted my facebook page and have locked myself into a room .

    I don't know what to do now . All I am thinking is suicide . Can you please offer me some advise ?

    P.S I am 18 .

    • Hmm, Dear Brother or Sister, Asalaamualaykum,

      Suicide is quite drastic, dont you think? Afterall, what has happened? You've got Bs and C's in your Alevels - I think thats great. I would have been over the moon if I'd got even all C's in my Alevels. I failed my A levels miserably and cried for a week as my I felt my dad was disappointed. Now when I look back, I think...'how silly, what was all the crying for'? I cried when I failed a job interview, infact, I have cried at so many turning points in my life, only to have been proved later on that actually it wasnt so bad and I have done well.

      I know that parental pressure can be too much sometimes, its not nice at all. But dude, have some confidence in yourself. You know how hard you worked, you know the effort you put in, so now reward yourself for that. And if you need higher grades to get into which university, then re-take your exams. My cousin did so so many times, he's 30 years old now and he's still doing his medicine degree. And who cares how long it takes him?? No one.

      Some people do not have the opportunity to study at all, they are poor and all they are worrying about is where their next meal is going to come from. You are so fortunate maashaAllah. You have done well. Go to your parents and tell them about your results, meet your friends and find out how they are doing aswell.

      Brother - your academics are not the be all and end all. Your studies are just one small part of life and your identity is not defined by your education. It is defined by your beliefs, your character and the way you deal with things. Its no big deal, you try and try till you succeed inshaAllah.

      ***

      Apart from all that, more importantly, do you know that committing suicide is a major sin? You are a Muslim right? So know that everything happens for a reason. You tried your best, you didnt get quite what you wanted, so have patience in Allah. Have patience....

      If you continue having such suicidal thoughts, I would advise you strongly to seek out medical help.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • ThinkingofSuicide,

      Assalamualikum!
      For starters, I am sorry to know that you are not happy with your results. I am also not happy with my Olevels result. (I'm 15)
      But, you should be thankful that at least you got a chance to do Alevels. I don't know if I'll be able to do Alevels, It will depend on my results and already, I didn't get good results.
      But hey! You've got a good result! I mean, Allah ALWAYS does what is best for you. Allah knows how hard you tried! Allah knows how many Duas you have made and even if your Dua hasn't been fulfilled, you might get something better than these grades.
      Don't feel down! You still have a life! Allah gave you a life so live it. Allah has not given you a life to do suicide. And suicide is not permissible in Islam.
      When I was in 8th Grade, I was really depressed and me and my friends thought up of ways to do suicide. It didn't help and thanks to Allah, I'm still alive.
      Ofcourse, I have times when I feel like I shoudln't lvie but then I stop for a moment to think that I AM NOT ALONE. There are LOTS of people in this world who might be feeling the same way as I am.
      So, please, my dear Sister or Brother, do not give a second thought to suicide! It will give your parents a worse dilemma!
      I mean, Inshallah, Allah will give you lots of opportunities where you can make your parents proud of you! Suicide will not make your parents happy, also Allah will not be happy either.
      Just pray to Allah and Inshallah, everything will be alright.
      I know it's not that easy, but there is no bad thing in trying.
      Pray to Allah, and have patience.
      Many people might be unlucky than us, so we should be thankful for what we have now.
      Just have:
      COurage, Faith, Patience and Determination
      Don't let this result bring you down! You don't deserve to die!
      When you are unhappy with life, just think that there is someone in this world who is happy simply because YOU exist.
      I will pray for you 🙂
      Inshallah, Allah will make things better. Hard times in life are just like a test. Either you go through them with patience and faith or you just blame it on everyone else and decide that life is useless.
      Also, success is temporary in this world.
      Real sucess lies in the Hereafter. Along with trying to succeed in this temporary life, we should also try to prepare for our Afterlife.
      Thankyou for reading and May Allah give you patience and hapiness...Ameen!

      • W.S

        It is dear brother , and I am a muslim

        Thank you both of you ( Sisterz and silent tears ) for such sweet and heartfelt comments . My emotions are still high so I am still unable to think properly .

        To Sisterz , yes I thought about retaking my exams but it will cost me one year . I don't know whether to go with this decision or not . I know that if I retake my papers , my parents will be sad but they will agree reluctantly . With all due respect sweet sis , but you don't understand my parents mentality . They are all happy if I achieve good grades and if not then I will probably face horrific consequences .

        I know that parental pressure can be too much sometimes, its not nice at all. But dude, have some confidence in yourself. You know how hard you worked, you know the effort you put in, so now reward yourself for that. And if you need higher grades to get into which university, then re-take your exams. My cousin did so so many times, he's 30 years old now and he's still doing his medicine degree. And who cares how long it takes him?? No one

        Your are absolutely right dear sis , I wish my parent could forgive me .

        Some people do not have the opportunity to study at all, they are poor and all they are worrying about is where their next meal is going to come from. You are so fortunate maashaAllah. You have done well. Go to your parents and tell them about your results, meet your friends and find out how they are doing aswell.

        Very beautiful reminder dear sis . Thanks for consoling . I will Inshallah try to follow your advice and will pray that everything turns out fine . Please pray for me dear sis .

        To Silent tears .

        Thank you dear sis for posting your message . It really feels good when people like you exist .

        When you are unhappy with life, just think that there is someone in this world who is happy simply because YOU exist

        Probably no one , I think my parents would start cursing me when I will tell them about my results .

        • Dear Brother,

          You will be ok inshaAllah. If your parents curse you for not getting the grades they wanted, that is wrong of them and Allah is watching - He(swt) always is.

          I can imagine parental pressure must be hard and I know so many people are affected negatively by this academic pressure. I had the pressure but not as bad as you. My dad used to compare us to 'genius' kids who would be studying 8 A-Levels in one go and he didnt let us study the subjects we wanted as he thought they were useless and easy, e.g. I wanted to study Religious Studies, I loved it and it came naturally to me, but did not dare take it at GCSE level or higher. I had to take the more Intensive Sciences but that was not my strong point and he thought 'English Literature' was an easy subject as all one had to was read books and write about them so how could I possibly have done badly in my English A-Level. Anyhow, I dont hold it against my dad and may Allah forgive and bless his soul. He pushed me to study later on and I am most grateful to him for that.

          Brother - our parents can be difficult and they can say the most nasty things at times and unfortunately we cannot change the way they think either. All we can do is change the way we think, and try to become resilient to their comments. They want the best for us and in wanting so, they can sometimes start dragging us down. A few years down the line, this part of your education wont even be important anymore because you'll have swam through that river to something far greater.

          But I want you to stand up and say to yourself: "I know I tried my best, Allah knows I tried my best and I will keep trying inshaAllah. I will try to swallow my parents comments and continue forward. Education is one part of my life, not the be all and end all. And the way I react to parents through this difficult time is another test/exam a more important one that I must pass".

          Its hard, but try : ). Whatever we do in our youthful years will pave the path for our future brother, so if you can overcome this emotional hurdle, you will spring back and be a stronger person inshaAllah.

          SisterZ
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • ThinkingofSuicide,
      Salam, 2 years ago this time I was in the same situation. At least u have some Bs, I didn’t get 1. I end up with Cs. I had no choice but to accept the situation and move on. I’m now in my final year at university. I didn’t like my uni at first, but things changed. Everything happens for a reason. I met some nice people-made some good and religious friends, my life and life style started changing and improving , I completely changed to a different and better person. I don’t used to pray regularly, I wasn’t wearing a hijab and didn’t have much knowledge about my religion and the Quran. I now realized that it happened coz Allah almighty wanted it and it was his will. I’m happy now, with life, studies, friends etc. and the Uni I didn’t like once up on a time, now I feel I’m gonna miss it when I graduate.

      All the best..
      PS. U can get into a better university through clearance..I didn’t want to take the risk but regretted it after coz my friends did and they got into better unis with cs etc.

      • I have decided that I will tell my parents the truth and face them . I don't care if they would put me in front of a firing squad and blow me up in pieces . I will beg them to give me another chance and this time Inshallah Inshallah (please pray for me ) I will prove my worth .

        To Aisha1 ... Thank you very much for sharing your experience .

        U can get into a better university through clearance

        Can you tell me what did you mean by clearance ??

        Thank you dear sisters .

        • I thought ur from the Uk as u mentioned A levels. We also do Alevels here in the uk after we completed GCSEs.
          Clearance or clearing is a process used by students when they don't get the exam grades they hoped for and/or their places r not confirmed by the university of their Choice. Clearings give a good chance to find another course or same course in another uni with the same grades.

          I don’t know where u from, but that is how it is in the uk. And I think as long as ur grades r close to the requirement of the uni and as long as ur personal statement is attractive to the course director, and with a good reference, u should be ok, unis r always interested in ur money – if they have places available they shall take u ;).

          Good luck, my prayers r with u 😉

        • I hope your parents understand, dear brother.
          And I will remember you and others in trouble in my prayer.
          Inshallah, Allah will make a bright future for you 🙂

  15. Subhan'Allah Muslim what a sad story about that women who is a caretaker i pray Allah (swt) easy her suffering, this is one of those's story's that will stay in my mind forever,. Ya Allah make us greatfull for are blessing Ameen,.

  16. Salaams Precious,

    Your story made me cry because it reminded me of me. I've always tried to the best in life in according to staying within the halal & avoiding the haram. Never have I done any major haram sins.

    It seems often that people who do haram have it easier. Case in point: my ex husband cheated on me and I ended up alone, lost my home, and ended up on food stamps. I ended up working 3 jobs & put myself through grad school w/a career change. My ex husband on the other hand got remarried w/in a year, got a six figure job, bought a beautiful home, and had a child. And So I as myself, how is this fair? I never did anything bad yet I got the worse of it. I always wanted kids, and a functional family (I would have been one of those awesome soccer moms). Additionally, I have my parents who are elderly & I do not have other family members who can really help take care of them. So the responsibility falls on me & I know it will only get worse as they get older & I have to help more & more.

    I have no savings, no 401K's. pretty much nothing, if I lost my job I'd be homeless. Ultimately, I've tried really hard to get remarried but no one wants me. I'm too old, ugly, and not a doctor, lawyer or engineer (as most desis want that). At the end I will be alone in a nursing home, (they are bad as I work in healthcare I should know) with no one to take care of me.

    So I ultimately ask myself why? Don't have an answer. But I have finally figured out, if that's what Allah wills, it is what it is. The best I can do now is just continue to be a good person, do good works and not think about tomorrow as there is no point to doing so. It is possible this is Allah's way of cleansing me so that I don't end up in the hell fire. So I continue to pray and ask for a lot of forgiveness & patience in helping me deal w/my life. It is also possible Allah might grant me some sort of miracle too as with Him all things are possible.

    I know that there are others who have it worse then me. I could have been born in a backwards country where women have no rights and been beaten everyday by my husband. Or I could have been born somewhere there was not enough food, or somewhere that is war torn and been tortured. So yeah, there's a lot worse that could go on........I try to think that way. I've had a lot of good in my life too, but I didn't mention that, so I do want to say that too. Alhum, Allah blessed me too.

    • it really gives me courage to read or know about people living hard life.
      Jazzak allahu khairan, for posting it. I pray Allah gives you strength and peace, amin.
      Everything is Allah's will! He gives happiness to those whom he wills and sorrow to those who he wills. We are just servants made of clay, we can only accept his will, neer defy it.

      I might also end up being alone as it is being very difficult for me to get married. I also see many woman who have been doing wrong all their lives but get married so easily and be happy. It also makes me ask myself, WHY?
      I also find the same answer, if that's what Allah wills, it is what it is.
      I want to tell about the situation of neighbouring family. The family is kind of joint, as the uncle lives with them with his wife. The uncle dont have any children. The main family has father, mother and three daughters. The daughters are in the late 20's and the eldest got married after a lot of searching at 30.
      The father was quite burdened with the marriage of the two daughters, and would worry a lot. This year in July he died (inalillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun). I went to their house after the death of the father, I couldn't stop crying after I saw the two daughters and the widowed mother. They were so helpless and sad. I still feel sad remembering their helpless faces, even tough the daughters are very grown up still the look on their faces is so much sad and they just lost the only guardian in their life. Still today I dont hear word of their marriage. It just makes me sad. I feel how hard a life they are living.

      I Pray Allah removes this terrible hardship from them and bless them with good husbands and healthy children. Amin

    • Dear Longing for Truth,

      I'm sorry for what you've been through. I wish I could say that most men that leave us high and dry will get their comeuppance, but it never seems to work that way. They always end up in happy relationships, with children. I, too, wonder about God's will for so many muslim women who have tried to remain steadfast in our principles, only to get burnt and be alone. I also ponder over the ostensible selfishness of parents who immigrated to a non-muslim country, had children, yet knew that their daughters could not marry non-muslims. Where is the sense in that?

      I really doubt you are old and ugly. You seem to have a good educatiion. Why woud you say such things about yourself? Are you 80 years old? lol. No one, NO ONE, on this earth is ugly, especially a woman. Look how you've pulled yourself up from a bad situation; you completely changed your life around. I understand what it feels like to be lonely. Just remember something. Don't close your options when it comes to finding a life partner. That advice hasn't worked for me, but, it might.

      Anyway, take care. You should pray for healing and pray that Allah SWT opens a path for you to get what your heart desires. That being said, I also agree with you that some things are just Allah's will for us. It doesn't matter how much you pray for something -- if its not destined it will not happen, its as simple as that. it really hurts me to say that, but I'm the one who has prayed for 15 years for a husband and childrne, I'mthe one who did the tahajjud, the salut-ul-hajjah, the tasbih's, the prayers in the middle of th enight, istikhara, you name it I have done it. And nothing changed. Sometimes, prayer leads to hope which breeds expectation which gives rise to disappointment. I don't know what the balance is. I think for Ramadan I am just suspending my disbelief for a few weeks, and then I will go back to reality after Eid.

    • I want to know about some peoples those who are wrong doers in own home like life loss&snatch away some one's all lifelong hopes&wishes&liking everything because they are very close people of mine. They always busy to do that work for me. In a single word I can say that they have been making my life hellish all time . They are my close family members that's why they know my all wishes.so ,they always busy to snatch it from me all things little or big eventually my mother's affection.Too much jealousy on me& think me a very low from them. I have already lost most important wealth my father-mother for their very rude ,selfish,cruel nature.But now I don't want to loss any single thing of my parents.How can I get it& how can I get relief from those manly evil doers.plz.

  17. @ Precious Star. i am amazed at ur patience level.
    but dont u give up at this stage or all will be wasted. ALLAH loves the patient n righteous. And ALLAH is with one who seeks help by patience n prayer. its written in QURAN that way,
    i was reading ur above comments but i am not happy for the fact that ur now asking less froM ALLAH. i mean u limited ur wants, but to ALLAH belongs the dominion of the heavens n earth.
    Hadis Qudsi
    if all jinn n mankind of all times assemble n ask ALLAH for all their desires , then ALLAH surely will give them all what they want, n nothing will decrease of His treasures just like a needle picked up form sea. (meaning the water around the needle is taken with it, which is negligible)
    my point is ALLAH is MOST MERCIFUL and His mercy is infinite. so we should ask the best form ALLAH. n the best is always the hereafter.
    after that we should ask
    QURAn : " Our Lord, give us the good of this world n the good of the hereafter and save us from the punishment of hell fire"

  18. @ thinking of suicide

    alhumdulillah, i also got my alevels result on 11 aug n i was scared. cux my parents also expect the best from me. n i did give the best with ALLAH's help in skool since childhood. but this time my alevels result lacked one A* so first my parents were mad at me, but then they compared with others results n thankGOD my skool result was pretty bad so i got forgiven.

    DUDE! tests r temporary! how can u even think of suicide!!! its HARAM! forbidden. cucx according to hadis if a person kills himself then he will continued to be punished in hereafter by the method implored in killing himself. JUST IMAGINE HOW PAINFUL IS THAT! n damnation to hell fire!
    u want to end up in HELL FIRE FOREVER or face ur parents wrath by telling them ur result!
    think wisely!
    a hadis also goes , a dua, but its not appropriate to ask for death form ALLAH
    "Oh ALLAH give me life if its good for me. o ALLAH give me death if its good for me"
    n best happens afta that!
    one of my classs fellows who gt straight A*s in olvels got B n Cs. so alot of ppl are disappointed its not just u!
    n one year waste is nothin big either! if its ur repo then get over with it already but dont think of suicide! its haram!

  19. In this Ramadan prayer for whole Muslims and for whole world Islam teaches us gr8 respect for all religions there is no difference from Allah Just Our worships Types Are Different otherwise God Or Allah is Only one Only Few Bad People a
    re creating Problems in this sweet world and bad People is in any country or anywhere in the world actually they don't have Any kind of religion they cant b Muslim they cant b christian cant b Hindu anyway i am Muslim but i have Gr8 Respect for all Religions

  20. salam... im also suffering from a problem..i m askin sumthing ALLAH in prayers constantly from last 2 years..but i dnt knw where my duas r going..day by day my imaan is gettin weak..i m tryin to make my self strong but now m losing control on my self..im in deep pain..cnt bear any more stress...plz help me..i m restless...its hurting me like hell..many times i think i should commit suicide but then think of ALLAH will never ever forgiv me..
    plz play for me..i also do pray tht in diz holy month of ramdan i may get wat i need...i desired...
    plz let me knw wt shud i do.. plz plz help me

  21. Salaam

    sad girl,

    If you ever read this I just came across your message and hope and pray all works out to your best interest.

    Take each day at a time and each step towards what you desire. Don't come near to suicide if u still need help, please write us. No problem is too big for God, with His help you can succeed.

    with love,

  22. well,for how many years ur dua is not getting fullfilled ??

  23. As salaam alaikum brothers and sisters,

    All your stories that I have read touched my hard. Just remember one thing Allah loves us all and will not put us through hardships that we cannot handle. He is not evil to see us suffer. Just pray and dua to him sincerely. Cry your heart out for he is the only one that listens and has the power/ability to change things within seconds beyond our imagination. And sad girl of you don't mind what have you been asking for dua from Allah? Are you sincere in your duas? Do you glorify and thank him before you ask from him?

    Ask dua and just keep increasing your duas even if you don't see the answer immediately or in the near future. Allah is always listening to us. I Dua'ed for all of you during my margin dua. Keep me in your duas and dua for me too. Ameen.

  24. stop asking for things of this world and detatch urself from it. God wants ur pure love .u can not love him and this world at the same time stop asking like god says he nos wht u need and ur wants and when to give it u gota put ur trust 100 percent and not that hw u r asking for

  25. Aoa.. I m medical. Student. I m.very sad about my results although I works hard n always I try my best afforts to get good result n I always pray to Allah tht I may get good result... But my results always hurt me why Allah is not giving me reward of it although I pray alot , plz console me Wt should I do how can I be successfull n how should I pray from Almighty Allah plz Answer me m very sad I dn know Wt to do

  26. Asalamualaikum ..i need a strong dua..please help me..i was in love with a man for the last 7 years..At that time he told me he is not settled so cant think about marriage ..and proposals were forwarding for me ...but at the same time he helped me to improve my eeman..and helped me a lot to get closer to Allah..so i began to love him and wishes to marry him..but he couldnt tell to his parents about this relatiin.slowly he began to settle in all sense..but still he is not ready to present it to his parents..i becme depressed in every manner..now he avoided me and he is saying everyday he used to pray for me...if he lives me dat muchh y he s not ready to accept me...now i m depressed ...but stil i continue my prayers and i knw its all Allah Swt is testing me and i m becoming closer to Allah..but still i cant forget him..pls help me

    • saira, I am sorry to tell you that you have allowed this man to waste 7 years of your life. He is not serious about marriage, or he is not interested in marrying you. It is time - way past time - to cut off your relationship with him altogether.

      In the future do not allow yourself to get involved with someone who is not serious about marriage or not ready for marriage.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Thanku bro..this man has done several umrah...let me ask you one thing whether Allah accept his umrah???..he make me cry everytime and go for umrah...l

        • Allah knows best, sister. I cannot say whether Allah will accept someone's ibadah or not. Rest assured, however, that Allah is the Most Just. Every good deed is measured, and every bad deed is measured, and everyone will receive justice in the end.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  27. Allah gave to everyhuman a special gift that his other creatures will not have it & that gift is called akal or another words is brain but billion of people in this world do not use it as often & that the reason why a few had succeed.

  28. things which u wont get in this small span of life will be given tou in ur real life ,that is, whe u die or goto allah . every desire will be fulfilled but u have to wait 4 the correct time . have patience. and please dont blame allah for any thing because if he stops listening to u then u will blame urself for beeing soo.. impatient. allah has given u many things and he will give every thing u wanted.
    but do u do any thing for other members. as u said that u pray to allah every day so that ur desire will be full filled but do u pray for others , whome u even dont know. i mean to say beggers and handicaped people.................................................
    think about it
    inshahallah ur desired will be fulfilled.

  29. Hello brothers and sisters. Salam. I'm here to ask help from you. This days have been very hard for me. I have to study many subjects at once. I was getting bad grades again and again. I started praying 5 times a day and also tahajjud prayer. I started taking more classes and more concentrating on the subjects also. But I'm very sad as well as very tensed this day. Please brothers and sisters help me with some suggestions what should I do.

    • It sounds like you are taking a lot of the right steps already. Maybe you can find a study partner, or a tutor to help you. Or perhaps you can read a few articles on how to develop good study habits. Or of course you could reduce your course load.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  30. Assalamu wa alaikum..dear sister...we are always on test by allaah s t..everyday when u wake up..always thank allaah for gvg u light of day ..and before going to bef thank allaah for everything regadless of the situation..read surah rahman..befote u go to bed and after fajar..before u ask for u ask allaah for other unfotunate women...visit sick ..eithe kids or adult..givr from yr heart..recite sadka namaz everyday..2salwaat..u will see allaah will grace y with mercy insha allaah..have faith in allaah when u feel like rejected away..inshaallaah..things will go fine..

  31. Salamu alaikum my life has been tough for me I have struggled cause I have an addiction for nearly ten years now I pray to Allah Pls help me but nothing seems to change I believe one day it will Change I have faith in Allah ive lost everything over this addiction i need help

    • IF you mean a drug or alcohol addiction, you should get into a treatment center, and then stick with an AA or NA program. And yes, keep on praying.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  32. Assalaamu alaikum sister. I ask all my fellow brothers and sisters to join me in dua'aa for Allah to make easy for you to overcome your problems and grant peace and fulfillment of your desires and make your wishes beneficial for you. Inshallah Ameen.

  33. Assalam alayka sister,

    May the blessings of Allah be upon our beloved prophet Muhammad peace be upon him and his family and the companions and all the Muslim ummah.

    Dear sister,

    Allah told us in every difficulties there is ease It is mention in the Kuran also we know that if Allah does not give you what you asked for it could be that either what you are asking is not good for you as Allah knows what's best for us or He SWT has something for you beyond what you were expecting as Allah test our patience too I believe or it could be that Allah loves you so much that He SWT wants to keep on hearing your voice while you call upon Him SWT as Allah loves to hear our voices calling his name because once we have what we ask for we don't do as many dua as we should and saying that I am the first one guilty we are human being and we have desire once fulfilled we think we are contempt so we don't call Allah as often when in need.
    Allah knows what's best for us we don't even have a clue of what we really want is good for us either for today or on a long term.

    I hope this will make you maybe think differently or outside the box like we say.

    I hope that Allah will forgive me if I have given a false statement out of ignorance.

    I found out recently that for your dua to be accepted you have to do 4 things:

    Praise Allah SWT
    Ask Allah to send blessing upon our beloved prophet Muhammad peace be upon him.
    Ask for forgiveness for the whole muslim ummah
    Then ask for what you want

    As I've learnt recently that if you don't especially ask for blessing for our prophet Muhammad peace be upon him in your dua then you dua is in between the heavens and the earth it's hanging there so if this was the case for you you can complete your dua now.

    I hope Allah will give you and us patience and understanding.

    ASSALAM ALAYKA SISTER

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