Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Why do the men who agree to marry me drop out at the last minute?

Wedding rings

Asalamu aleykum warahmatulah wabarakatu,

I have a big problem. I have 6 brothers and one sister, both of my brothers were mad including my father, except my mum, younger sister and I. I am the second last born among them. We took them every where but no changes, it's now been 6 years. My mum wasted all her wealth on them, now she's insufficient.

I was not married, and Allah granted me a good job to help them. Where I am worked I have many enemies, they caused me to leave the job. After I left that one, Allah granted me another job again, while I was working, just the same problem happened and left even that one. No one wanted to see me in a good condition,my great friends always turned to my great enemies. Not one but many.

Beside all this I want to marry, the first man who was engaged to marry me was disappeared when the wedding day remained a week away, it's was 3 yrs now, since then many mens admire me becouse Allah granted me all the sign of beauty, knowledge, natural clever, but after they engaged and arranged wedding ceremony they will disappear.

All of them disappear after we have agreed and plan for wedding, I don't know what is wrong but Alhamdulilah what Allah does,he does well, I have problem of my family, my job and my marriage.

Please I need dua and some advice to get out of this challenges.

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10 Responses »

  1. I think the best thing for you to do is leave to live at a new place where no one knows you and you're far away from you're family so you don't have to deal with anything. Atleast that is what I would do in this situation. Maybe after finding out about you the men leave you so I think it'd be good to start fresh Nd new and move far away from where you live right now even though it might be hard. When making a decision maybe you could do the istikhara prayer, best of luck sister.

  2. Wa'alaikumsalaam Wa Rahmatoullaahi Wa Barakaatuh

    Right now im confused sister with ur post. You said u have 6 brothers n 1 sister, right??
    And u said, both of ur brothers r mad including ur dad. Am i right??
    Then, u said except u, mum n sis r fine

    What kind of madness u mean here?? I really wanna help but right now ur comments is somehow...hmmmm!!! Coz u r toking about wasted wealth n actually they r ur family.

    Sister like u said: "I don't know what is wrong but Alhamdulilah what Allah does,he does well". For sure u saying the truth. There is no need to change place or whatsoever sister. The man who will come to u to ask for ur hand will not look at ur physical beauty, knowledge n so on, but the beauty of ur soul (Taqwah), knowledge of Deen and so on. So need to perform Salaah tul Istikharah when someone asked for ur hand like sport123 said.

    Be patient sister, insha-Allah he will come soon. Look after ur family, they r ur real wealth. What i have understand, they have some mental disorder, right. This too is from Allah Ta'ala. U need to accept it. So it the guy who need to marry u. The guy is somewhere on this earth, just keep steadfast with ur A'maal (Salaah, Quraan, Zikr n Da'wah among ur family) ull see. Take Care n may Allah Ta'ala gives ya courage.

    Good n Bad is from Allah Ta'ala sister, be ready to face it with patient n react well to the situation ur r into.


    • Assalaamu'alaikum Wa Rahmatoullaahi Wa Barakaatuh

      Even the guy who will marry u, he will understand that n he will be happy to take the responsibility, believe me. I really dont know ur situation sister even i have read ur post, but stay with ur family with for the worst, they r ur real wealth, believe me. Even though what u have said sister. i know u said it becoz u think the problem aorse is becoz of them n u really want to get married, i understand ur feeling sister but its from Allah Ta'ala this. Wait for the right guy with patient sister...insha-Allah soon he will come, dont worry. He will accept u n ur family for the sake of Allah Ta'ala. He will love u all, believe me. Nowadays human, not all but most of them want life easy n dont want to struggle. For this world, we struggle to get it but for Aakhirah, look, little effort are Sad. And in ur case, no-one wants to marry u becoz they dont want to take the responsibility n this actually bring alot of rewards but depends on the man as i told ya.

      Wait for him, make alot of Du'a n put in ur heart whether u have a work or not, Allah Ta'ala will help u becoz HE knows ur situation right now and Allah Azza Wajal is the one who gives Food. So dont worry about this...i know we need to make the effort but Alhamdulillah u already doing it.

      Our Du'as r with u sister...take care


      • "WHATEVER OF GOOD REACHES YOU, IS FROM ALLAH, BUT WHATEVER OF EVIL BEFALLS YOU, IS FROM YOUR SELF (meaning as a consequences of your evil actions or evil soul)... " koran4:79 so sister Allah is good, He is the source of good, and HE always goes good to all His creatures including human beings. BUT all of the evils come from the devil (saitan) and his agents (shayatin)., THEY inflict evils on human beings and course them pains, and also invite the humans to disbelieve and to do evil deeds, so that they (the devils) would have more company with them in the hell fire.... AND ALSO EVILS DO INFLICT PEOPLE WHICH COMES AS A RESULT OF THE CONSEQUENCES OF THE PEOPLES EVIL ACTIONS...

        • Assalaamu'alaikum

          I'm really sorry, i was not clear enough. When i said bad, its about the situation while Evil is from ones own action. Sorry to everybody.

          But Mohd for sure the ayah u wrote says everything...Jazaakallah khair 🙂


  3. dont leave your family, if you believe in allah then please look after your family. share your problem with QTV (ddks). allah will grant you a good boy.....
    khuda hafiz

  4. Walaykumaslaam warahmatullahe wabarakatuhu
    Sister try two things,
    If any, from amongst your friends greets you, greet them well back and if you think they will tell yu the truth, ask them if they think there is something that you maybe doing that makes you think people are becoming your enemies. They may help you reflect on something you are doing without noticing it.

    Also, what you are saying falls under one types of magic,called magic(sihr) of separation, it is worth researching ways doing ruqyah, do not go to anyone to ask them to perform ruqyah on you unless you feel you have absolutely no chance of performing it yourself.

    For your brothers try this it may help:

    Putting your hand on the sickened person’s forehead and recite: “Allahumma Rabban-Nass, Adh-hibil-Ba’ss Washfi Anta-Shaafi La shifa’an illa shifa’uk Shifa’an La Ughadiru Saqaman” (Bukhari)
    "O Lord of the people, remove this pain and cure it, You are the one who cures and there is no one besides You who can cure, grant such a cure that no illness remains".

     Putting your hand on the sickened person’s painful area and recite the 3 Quls. (Ikhlass, Falaq, Annass) (Bukhari)

     Putting your hand on the sickened person’s forehead and say: “Bismillahi Yubreek Min Kulli Daa’in Yashfeek Wa Min Sharri Hassidin Idha Hassad Wa Min Sharri Kulli Dhi ‘Ayn (Muslim)

    • Assalaamu'alaikum

      Masha-Allah kash the Du'a u put...superb!!! Jazaakallah khair alot...u remind me of these Du'as, nice.

      Take Care n may Allah Ta'ala keeps in increasing ur wisdom


  5. I feel very sorry for you sister, for indeed this is a great calamity. Have you ever think of going to some muftis/islamic spiritual leaders for help??? This problem might be a spiritual one and not "medical", and spiritual problems need to be tackled spiritually by prayers etc etc ... Your problem is not uncommon, and you are not the first to come across such problems. Many were into similar problems and with the help of Allah, they are out of it. So you and your family would be out of this problem inshaAllah. But you have to be determined and look for the solution. . Which country and area do you leave in sister...

  6. Dear Sister,


    I feel very sorry for you.But have to say you need to be there for your sister and mum.When you say your brothers and dad are mad, can they not get any kind of help.Can they not get any kind of medication and goto any kind of workshops. What kind of madness are we talking about.Why was it necessary for your mother to spend all her wealth thisway.We are lucky to live in this country where we have a system,that actual comes from Islam and unfortunately is not practised in muslim countries.

    With regard to yourself I advise that you read surah mariyam once a day after any prayer for 41days and Inshallah you will find a suitable partner.

    If you are able to you might want to move from where you are living,if it is possible,in case there is evilin the house that you are living in.

    Most important belive in Allah,trust in yourself and your problems will disappear.As for friends, consider us your friends.

    Take Care.
    Allah Hafiz.

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